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Old 07-31-2011, 01:13 AM
Gigi Gigi is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 2
Default New here

My Husband and I have been poly w/another couple for a few years now. Mostly online until end of last year when we moved to be closer to them physically.
I'm having issues, which of course, are causing issues for us all, so I'm here hoping for advice and support from other couples who understand and live a poly life as we do.
Reading through the forum has, so far, been one big sigh of relief to know I'm not the only one having the insecurities I do and that there is hope for working things out. I'm crossing my fingers that we do as my Husband and I really love this couple very much and have stated how much we really could see this continuing into something that's still there long into our old age.
The scary part is I know I will be baring some really ugly parts of me and the relationship. Nothing like violence (God no) but more like my own childish insecurities and tendencies to hold grudge and pout like a child when my hurt feelings go unacknowledged. My Husband has tried to be understanding and loving about it, but I'm stubborn about letting something go unless the person who's actions I'm unhappy about is the one doing the making up.
Sometimes instead of letting bygones be bygones, I feel like slapping someone back with the thing they did to me just to see if they can understand the reason I feel hurt and if they would feel the same. I bet you can guess how helpful this has been in building and keeping that trust between us? Yet when I let things go, two things happen; my pride rears up and I feel like the relationship continues but at my sacrifice..and when my unhappiness comes out I'm told I should have said something before...yet when I have, it's caused hurt feelings and our other couple to completely back off for some weeks. I can't seem to find a middle ground.
So long story short.. I need help. Sorry for the novel, it really was mean to be just an intro.
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  #2  
Old 08-04-2011, 02:53 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,186
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Welcome aboard.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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