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  #11  
Old 08-15-2011, 06:14 PM
Anneintherain's Avatar
Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Have you asked if she is willing to take one (or more) of those weekends and spend the time with you instead, either at the dances or elsewhere? (I can't tell if these dance events are of her specific style or one that overlaps with your love of dancing too).

Does this other guy have another friend or partner that they could take as their primary date to the events? If you haven't asked, and you want to go as her main date, DO - I think this is a reasonable reason to request a partner think about cancelling plans they already have than this, as you're not doing it last minute, she has plenty of time to discuss things with the other guy and think about what she wants to do. If you wanted her to devote all the weekends between now and then that'd be one thing, but you seem to be asking for nothing - find a happy medium, but don't be TOO selfless if you have desires, you gotta voice them.

I don't know if you have told her about your stress level, etc about when you leave the country, but if not, you might want to share this with her. As it has only been a few months you've been seeing her, what she wants to do about the weekends could go either way, but I think this relationship will be more successful for you (whether it works out long term or not) if you can tell her honestly what you want, not worry that you're asking for too much, and trust that she will be honest back about what she is willing to give.
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Last edited by Anneintherain; 08-15-2011 at 06:16 PM.
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  #12  
Old 08-15-2011, 06:25 PM
Allstar Allstar is offline
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I am not one to ask for things from people. So no I haven't asked her to skip a weekend. She planned to attend these events before we started. She also doesn't planned them around his schedule. They just randomly select the same ones because they are the bigger ones in the country. He doesn't have a primary, he just sleeps around. He lives in LA so it isn't like they see each other all the time. She likes him as a friend and just hooked with him at one event then continued at other events. Also she has known me through my last two deployments one to afghanistan and one in Yemen. She has seen the change before, but hasn't been in a situation like this with me to know how I will react.
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  #13  
Old 08-15-2011, 06:29 PM
Allstar Allstar is offline
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Yes I do like the style of dance the weekend is concentrating on which is blues. She has told me if I am at one of those weekends she wouldn't promise to spend the spare time with me or even the nights.
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