Originally Posted by redpepper
I agree that soul searching for all parties is a good idea. Especially her. It is new it seems and I suspect that three loves is a bit too many for him if you are expecting some decent time. I have four loves and the time is divided in such a way that two I see once a month for dates, socially maybe a bit more for one. It's all time management and not a competition. If its not enough for her or any of you then I would suggest filling that time with another partner or something else. Or moving on to somethinmg more on the monogamous side. Poly is great for some people, but time has always been an issue. Loving more has nothing to do with it. If that is her expectation she is shit out of luck... I would wonder what's behind that actually.
I've done so much soul searching over the past year or so that I've explored about every deep, dark nook and cranny that exists! And I can still learn more about myself... And I agree that Ka does need to do some soul searching. I'm trying to gently nudge her, but there are reasons it will be tough for her and in turn for all of us. We did have a nice long talk today and I think we're on the right path. And for that matter, Ki and D could use some soul searching too.
And no, he really doesn't have adequate time for 3 loves, so we all make adjustments and sacrifices. We all know that we can leave at any time. The only bond holding us together is love. And it's a damn strong bond! Kept me around through some very dark times of my own... I had to learn that more time doesn't equal more love and less time doesn't equal less love. That was hard for me to internalize and believe, not just logically, but emotionally and I'm sure Ka is having that problem now. I think there are numerous issues driving that need for her. And ultimately, she has to do the heavy lifting to resolve them. All of us can support her and help her carry the load, but we can't do it for her.