What!?!

SO long story short my fiance and i have been together for 3 years getting married next monday well we have a gf who weve been with 9 months she just quit her job for good reasons but now my fiance is telling me he wants to end it with her! im so confused everything was going fine. but apparently there have been convos of future plans and he doesnt agree with hers or she dont agree with his and now he says he doesnt feel the connection anymore? i just want them to talk before he throws it all away HELP!

I'm sorry you struggle.

I think you could step back.

but apparently there have been convos of future plans and he doesnt agree with hers or she dont agree with his and now he says he doesnt feel the connection anymore? i just want them to talk before he throws it all away HELP!

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That's kinda their business if they are having disagreements on the (him + her) side of things. If he wants to break up with her? He can do that.

You don't want to break up with her. So don't. That's over on the (you + her) side of it. You and her can keep dating, and be in a V instead of a triad if you and her are still happy dating each other.

Is there more going on to this?

Galagirl

kinkylove97 said:

getting married next monday

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If the dyad is not being questioned, how about suggesting you postpone any big decisions about the shape of your triad for a month? I don't think a week before marriage is a great time to discuss other relationships. It's a time of emotional upheaval.

I agree that this is a weird time to be bringing all this up. It may just be the result of emotions running high. I would ask him to wait until things settle down, then you can discuss it.

I'm a little confused. You say "we" have a GF, but "he" wants to break up based on their differences of opinion. Are you not part of their conversation? What if you don't want to break up with her? If he wants to break up with her can't you and her continue to be together?

Of course, he is certainly within his rights to not want to continue a relationship with someone for whatever reason.

So what if he wants to break it off with her. You two can continue to have a relationship.

Hi kinkylove,

You said that they are in disagreement with each other about their future plans; can you be more specific about what these future plans are? Do they disagree about having kids, or is there some other future plan they don't agree on?

Perhaps the three of you could sit down and have a conversation about this. Would that be a possibility?

I hope you can work things out.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.

kinkylove97 said:

So, long story short-- my fiance and I have been together for 3 years, getting married next Monday. Well, we have a gf who we've been with 9 months. She just quit her job for good reasons, but now my fiance is telling me he wants to end it with her! I'm so confused. Everything was going fine. But apparently there have been convos about future plans and he doesn't agree with hers, or she doesn't agree with his, and now he says he doesn't feel the connection anymore? I just want them to talk before he throws it all away. HELP!

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Maybe the gf is jealous you two are getting married? This is completely out of the blue?

Just guessing-- it sounds like her NRE is fizzling, especially in light of her 2 lovers getting married. She quit her job, she has other plans for life. Kind of hard on you and fiance right now in the last week leading up to your wedding.

Try to take a breath and sit down for a calm loving rational discussion. Breathe, breathe.