Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 07-22-2011, 05:19 PM
Carma's Avatar
Carma Carma is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 478
Default

At first my husband struggled with my NRE for my BF. He desperately needed me to show him more affection, while I was overwhelmed with new emotions for my BF. Husband became more demanding; I felt pressured to "prove" my love for him. Then I felt like my displays of affection for my husband were forced, obligatory, and fake. I find it really hard to love on demand -- and the freedom I was experiencing with my BF made it all the more difficult. The best remedy? TIME. Over time, the NRE does settle down. It's much, much better now. (We opened up last October). Hang in there!
__________________
Formerly married to Sundance
Boyfriend -- Butch Cassidy
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 07-22-2011, 06:00 PM
tsl1966 tsl1966 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 6
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carma View Post
At first my husband struggled with my NRE for my BF. He desperately needed me to show him more affection, while I was overwhelmed with new emotions for my BF. Husband became more demanding; I felt pressured to "prove" my love for him. Then I felt like my displays of affection for my husband were forced, obligatory, and fake. I find it really hard to love on demand -- and the freedom I was experiencing with my BF made it all the more difficult. The best remedy? TIME. Over time, the NRE does settle down. It's much, much better now. (We opened up last October). Hang in there!
Thank you for responding.

You're probably right about the time issue. We've got two weeks to wait before any kind of physical intimacy will be possible. (She had a medical procedure today that precludes such activity for awhile.)

You also hit the nail on the head about her feeling pressured to "prove" her love. She said the same exact thing to me two nights ago.

Maybe I am being demanding on her. But at the same time, I can't just let the issue go and have her develop the belief that everything that has happened over the past week is okay and not causing an issue.

I will have to talk with her about this sometime after she has recovered sufficiently from her procedure today. Maybe Sunday or Monday. I don't know yet.

I must say that I am happy to read a response from someone who was in the same situation that I am in now, especially when that person can see it from the other side.

Thank you.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
primary/secondary, secondary

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 05:08 PM.