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  #101  
Old 07-30-2011, 09:11 PM
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Originally Posted by serialmonogamist View Post
How about you learn to discuss the content of what I say . . .
You seem to be overlooking the fact that no one else who has contributed to this thread can make any sense out of what you write. So how the hell can we discuss the content when it's ridiculously incomprehensible?

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Originally Posted by serialmonogamist View Post
I really welcome critical discussion. I would just rather you or anyone else argue their thoughts reasonably . . .
Maybe when you have something reasonable to argue for or against, that could hapen.
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  #102  
Old 07-30-2011, 09:22 PM
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  #103  
Old 07-30-2011, 09:33 PM
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Thumbs up

lol
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  #104  
Old 07-30-2011, 10:19 PM
serialmonogamist serialmonogamist is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
You seem to be overlooking the fact that no one else who has contributed to this thread can make any sense out of what you write. So how the hell can we discuss the content when it's ridiculously incomprehensible?

Maybe when you have something reasonable to argue for or against, that could hapen.
I was really hoping poly people who are over the taboos of feeling multiple attractions would be open to understanding me and discussing these thoughts and feelings. Somehow I've only irritated people, though. Thanks anyway for trying.
  #105  
Old 07-31-2011, 12:58 AM
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Okay, here's an article you might find interesting. It was written by a member here, Irena, on her blog:

Shades of Past Lovers: or, what I learned from my wacko fundamentalist past.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
  #106  
Old 07-31-2011, 01:43 AM
serialmonogamist serialmonogamist is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Okay, here's an article you might find interesting. It was written by a member here, Irena, on her blog:

Shades of Past Lovers: or, what I learned from my wacko fundamentalist past.
Thanks, NYCindie. Finally I feel validated in my belief that serial monogamy is far from absolute monogamy. That blog really described the fairy tale of absolute monogamy well, didn't it? And what's so ironic to me is that while so many serial monogamists believe that they've achieved the fairy tale for the duration of their current relationship, they can only do so by vehemently denying the wider reality of their lives, that relationships are always ultimately terminal as far as their experience can tell them.

This is how I feel after divorce from someone I really thought would be the only one for the rest of my life. Now I wonder how I could ever pretend to believe the fairy tale again after living the reality that marriages end. But then when I start to explore the idea of polyamory (just the idea because I'm nowhere near comfortable with experimenting with it in practice), my mono friends act like I'm jumping off the deep end of insanity. Then when I explain to them why I think that serial monogamy is a form of non-simultaneous polyamory, they don't know what to say. Then when I discuss the topic with polyamorists online, they only respond by insisting that serial monogamy is just the normal form of monogamy and not polyamory. How to reach the truth?
  #107  
Old 07-31-2011, 02:04 AM
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Wha-a-a-a???

You miss the point. She is saying the serial monogamy is what monogamy is and "absolute monogamy" -- the idea that you can only be with one person all your life -- is a myth, foolish to believe in, and completely impossible to achieve. I provided this link and you don't get it at all. It seems like you are deluded.

And how many times are you going to repeat your absolutely nonsensical notion that there is even such a thing as "non-simultaneous polyamory?" I am seriously wondering about your sanity now.
__________________
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
  #108  
Old 07-31-2011, 03:17 AM
serialmonogamist serialmonogamist is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Wha-a-a-a???

You miss the point. She is saying the serial monogamy is what monogamy is and "absolute monogamy" -- the idea that you can only be with one person all your life -- is a myth, foolish to believe in, and completely impossible to achieve. I provided this link and you don't get it at all. It seems like you are deluded.

And how many times are you going to repeat your absolutely nonsensical notion that there is even such a thing as "non-simultaneous polyamory?" I am seriously wondering about your sanity now.
The only difference between your view and mine is that I don't convolute the ideal concepts with the reality. I also see absolute monogamy as a practically unachievable fairy tale. Only I think that doesn't matter because ideals have a life of their own and the ideal of absolute monogamy plays a giant role in the way serial monogamists orient toward their relationships. My point is that serial monogamy is still enamored with the dream of absolute monogamy on some level. I don't think you can appreciate what I'm saying because you are so focussed on serial monogamy being more 'realistic' than absolute monogamy.

Ideals are ideals. They exist separately from reality. Serial monogamy is a dominant reality caught somewhere between the ideal of absolute monogamy and the reality of polyamory. Imo, it is dishonest not to come to terms with the reality that monogamy is an ideal that is simply unachievable for most people. We strive for it. We worship its facade and demonize those whose polyamory shows up on the radar instead of escaping the light. In reality, I don't know of anyone who achieves absolute monogamy so why do we chastise people for compromising the facade and moving in the direction of polyamory in the various illicit ways that they do? We challenge people to monogamy and whip them for failing while telling them that if they choose honest polyamory they're sluts.

Still, the ideal of absolute monogamy remains and I am desperate to experience the magic that it promises. Only my divorce robbed me of that opportunity. So now where? Will the ideal of lifelong monogamy dissolve in my mind like an unfertilized ovum or does it have some function in the grand scheme of life after divorce?

I hope you can now see that reality is more complex than rejecting the impracticality of the absolute-monogamy dream. Replacing it with serial monogamy is a cheap surrogate. The reality is more complex. I understand you resent the false promise of it but please don't chastise me for looking back and questioning why the ideal exists in the first place and what its place in reality is.
  #109  
Old 07-31-2011, 03:44 AM
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This is such condescending drivel. You must be a troll after all.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
  #110  
Old 07-31-2011, 04:03 AM
serialmonogamist serialmonogamist is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
This is such condescending drivel. You must be a troll after all.
What is condescending and what is drivel? Do you really think I could write all that just for trolling purposes? Can you or someone please explain to me why I'm getting so much rejection for my thoughts on feelings and relationships? Is there something that people are expecting me to conform to that I'm not?
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