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  #11  
Old 07-21-2011, 06:18 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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It's so interesting to me that if no matter how many people are in a relationship, it's likely they will different ideas about non-monogamy, of poly, of what sex is, of the connections, if any, between sex and love. The OP holds different ideas on the role of sex and love and connection than her partners. Carma has quite different orientation on sex and love than her husband. Annabelle has had lovely sexual friendships that added to her life. My wife and I have different conceptions too - she is unwilling to have sex without love anymore while I'm exploring FWB relationships.

Perhaps acknowledging that everyone starts from very different places in discussing these issues is a helpful beginning.
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  #12  
Old 07-22-2011, 09:14 PM
ohthatgirl ohthatgirl is offline
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I really appreciate the amount of respect everyone here has shown.

After posting this and reading some feedback, I spoke with my husband about the idea of polyamory and we talked a lot. He has stated that while he adores her, he is not "in love" with her, and that's okay with me. I know that it may end up with "love" and...that's a bridge I will cross when we get there, but for now, I'm doing a lot of thinking about it, and what it might mean to me.

I will be meeting the girlfriend and her husband for the first time tonight. We're planning dinner and a movie and maybe some board games.

I want this to work - I want my husband to be as happy as he can be; I don't want our marriage to be about limitations, but rather how high we can fly with the support of one another.

Thank you again, everyone.
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  #13  
Old 07-22-2011, 09:59 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ohthatgirl View Post
I don't want our marriage to be about limitations, but rather how high we can fly with the support of one another.
Very nicely put.
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  #14  
Old 07-29-2011, 12:48 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ohthatgirl View Post
I really appreciate the amount of respect everyone here has shown.

After posting this and reading some feedback, I spoke with my husband about the idea of polyamory and we talked a lot. He has stated that while he adores her, he is not "in love" with her...
Adores her but isn't "in love?" Hmmm, what's the difference? We polys call the heightened emotions and physical reactions of infatuation and twitterpation New Relationship Energy. Perhaps your husband sees the difference between "true love" and the consuming feelings, rather obsessive, of getting to know a new person, and lusting for them.


Quote:
I will be meeting the girlfriend and her husband for the first time tonight. We're planning dinner and a movie and maybe some board games.

I want this to work - I want my husband to be as happy as he can be; I don't want our marriage to be about limitations, but rather how high we can fly with the support of one another.

Thank you again, everyone.
How did it go???
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I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
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