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  #21  
Old 11-23-2009, 06:24 PM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
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I still find your hugs disingenuous. But I use metaphors all the time- when they're appropriate. You assume quite a bit about me.
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  #22  
Old 11-24-2009, 12:11 AM
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ourquad ourquad is offline
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Polyfidelity....

that's us. However, I think it means different things to some of us. We descibe ourselves as such because it's something we can all agree on. I find that I don't really see it as a sexual thing. Part of us do.

Me, I guess I see it more as abiding/honoring what we have agreed to for our relationship. Whether than me no sex with someone else (and it does include that at this point) or how we chose to handle any aspect of our relationships.

For me, I have no interest right now in having another partner. Due to logistics, the two I have are more than enough. I feel "full" as well, if that makes sense to you.

I can not see starting another relationship when I want to explore and nurture the ones I have now. Finding the opportunities to do that with Tech are difficult enough as it is.

I practiced fidelity in my monogamous relationship with Gator as well. But then, I had more of a conventional view (though any of by group will tell you that I've always been a little "different" and non-conforming).

I guess, as I grow in my life, that I find myself re-thinking things (and not just on polyamory). I find I think for myself more and not listen to what others tell me I should think.

And I rambled again.
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  #23  
Old 11-24-2009, 12:41 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
This is one of the reasons I don't have a primary partner right now. My life is at a place where I would not be able to follow through with the commitment if I made one. However, this DOESN'T mean that I'm not capable of such a commitment or that I'm not ready for such a commitment or that I don't want such a commitment. Many people tend to think that because I'm not in a place where I can commit that I haven't "grown" enough or that I'm in some sort of "freedom seeking" phase. And often those perspectives come with a lot of judgement.

I don't have a primary partner because I know what kind of commitment it is and I know myself and my own needs enough to know that I can't make that work until other issues around my residency and stability in my logistical life are resolved. It has NOTHING to do with my ability to commit. It has everything to do with understanding and accepting my current circumstances.
Makes perfect sense to me Ceoli.
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  #24  
Old 11-24-2009, 12:45 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Originally Posted by ourquad View Post
For me, I have no interest right now in having another partner. Due to logistics, the two I have are more than enough. I feel "full" as well, if that makes sense to you.

I can not see starting another relationship when I want to explore and nurture the ones I have now. Finding the opportunities to do that with Tech are difficult enough as it is.
That makes sense to ME. I understand completely. In fact find it frustrating that as I open up my life and learn new things about myself etc-this growth seems to inspire desire in others (for me) and I feel like I spend too much time turning down offers when I want to spend MORE time FOCUSING on the new relationship developing between my husband and I and our family.
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