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Old 07-19-2011, 06:03 PM
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alwaysdancing alwaysdancing is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 3
Talking Poly and Lovin' it!

Hello all you fabulous open minded people!

I'm a 24 yr old bi-sensual female that's the V in a triad. I live on the California coast, and am a working professional. I always knew I was poly, even when I didn't have the words for it. In the last 3 years I've come to grasp with my sexuality and reunite it with love, or at least, respect, communication, and honesty. I went from relationship to relationship, without really every asking myself what I wanted. Two years ago, I swore never again to be in a committed relationship with someone that I wasn't 100% about, and frankly I wasn't too hopeful about that happening. Yet, sooner than I thought possible, I am in my first truly honest, open AND committed relationship.

I feel so lucky to have met my primary. I'll call him Pookie, since he is pretty much like a teddy bear. Classically handsome, talented, dedicated, he won my heart by attrition, just by being himself. He was truly innocent when we started hanging out, in the way only previously deeply religious person can be. While he initially was very mono, through some personal experiences (and my truly excellent sexual training ), he became poly-minded. It's allowed him to explore interactions with the opposite sex with me as a mentor, without the desperation of the sexless making him stupid. For both of us, it isn't about just fucking around, it's about being free to genuinely care for other people in our lives, and if we feel comfortable AND ARE SAFE, be close to them physically as well. Pookie and I have been together over a year now, and going strong.

The other arm of our V is JT, who is in his early 40's. Previously divorced, he knows first hand the importance honesty, trust and communication in a relationship. He has a wonderful young daughter and is not looking for anyone else to add to his life. We've been dating for about 4 months.

We're still new to this. None of us have been in a poly relationship before, which can be both good AND bad. We talk a lot about the concept and how we're applying it, and have a full disclosure policy. I feel so lucky because I didn't have to dig through years of relationship issues with Pookie to get him to open up to the poly mindset. I was completely honest about Pookie with JT before we got involved, and have kept up that habit through some painful mistakes. After JT's dishonest previous marriage, being able to count on complete honesty has been a pleasant shock to him.
I'm very happy that all of us came in to our relationships completely aware that they were going to be poly, so we didn't have to deal with any of the trauma, re evaluation of relationship standards, etc when the "I think I'm poly" bomb got dropped part way through a relationship.

I've been a long time lurker, and have both Pookie and JT reading this forum as well. I came here to read others stories, their mistakes and triumphs, and learn what I need to do to nurture these relationships and help them grow. I feel so happy to be in a poly relationship!
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Old 07-20-2011, 06:32 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,583

Congrats, and welcome!
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62), dating... again!
Pixi (poly, F, 40) my darling nesting partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's Dom/bf since April 2013
Kahlo (my ex, 46)
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Old 07-20-2011, 07:51 PM
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Newpolamory81 Newpolamory81 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 6

Have a great day!!!
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Old 07-21-2011, 05:33 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Originally Posted by alwaysdancing View Post
I'm a 24 yr old bi-sensual female that's the V in a triad.
<scratches head> Oh! You're the hinge in a vee, it appears, no triad involved. Got it.

Welcome aboard.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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Old 07-21-2011, 05:56 PM
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Carma Carma is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 478

Welcome! I love your positive upbeat attitude!
Formerly married to Sundance
Boyfriend -- Butch Cassidy
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