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  #1  
Old 03-29-2015, 11:09 AM
Kerala Kerala is offline
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Default Sex with the metamour on a day that was planned for me?

My loved one went off to my metamour on a day that was actually planned just for the two of us, sex including. However metamour put up drama and loved one felt forced to go over for two hours to bring him down. Now I am wondering
a) did they had sex? - wonderful way for calming down a man
b) am I allowed / is it a good idea to ask if they did?
c) does it matter for me at all - will it hamper her ability to have sex with me on the same day or is it just not my business?

The two of them have a quite new relationship and thus it is no wonder that they have sex nearly on every occasion they see each other. I can cope with that in general as long as there remains a fair share for me (which might be just a third of what they have). It that doesn't happen I tend to get in a quite bad mood and are plainly obnoxious.
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Old 03-29-2015, 11:35 AM
Nadya Nadya is offline
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I'd be more worried about the drama from the metamour and the fact that your lover chose not to respect the pre-existing plans of having a full day with you than the sex. These would be the red flags for me in this situation:
  • metamour having a problem with her spending time with you
  • her allowing his drama to ruin your day together
I would not be worried about the sex - but that is just me.
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Old 03-29-2015, 12:07 PM
Kerala Kerala is offline
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That's right in way, surely. But it was not the qutestion ;-)

The number of occasions where his drama is being accepted is already closing. This applies to me and to our hinge as well. And he was urged enought to seek for professional - appointment is already made.
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Old 03-29-2015, 12:31 PM
tenK tenK is offline
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I think you might be overthinking a tad. How about you just wait and see how your date with her goes? If sex happens naturally, and you both have fun in spite of their earlier drama then all is well. If she indicates that she's not in the mood any longer for sex because she had sex with metamour earlier, then you know that is a potential source of conflict and can act accordingly. I'm not sure you gain anything by asking her outright in advance if she had sex with him other than raising the tension between you and her perhaps unnecessarily and maybe blowing the situation out of proportion.
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Old 03-29-2015, 04:58 PM
Kerala Kerala is offline
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thanks tenK. Turns out, it was the right way to go ;-)
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Old 03-29-2015, 10:13 PM
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zigzag zigzag is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerala View Post
My loved one went off to my metamour on a day that was actually planned just for the two of us, sex including. However metamour put up drama and loved one felt forced to go over for two hours to bring him down. Now I am wondering
a) did they had sex? - wonderful way for calming down a man
b) am I allowed / is it a good idea to ask if they did?
c) does it matter for me at all - will it hamper her ability to have sex with me on the same day or is it just not my business?

The two of them have a quite new relationship and thus it is no wonder that they have sex nearly on every occasion they see each other. I can cope with that in general as long as there remains a fair share for me (which might be just a third of what they have). It that doesn't happen I tend to get in a quite bad mood and are plainly obnoxious.
I really try not to do the counting thing. So "she had sex with him yesterday, so its my turn today etc" as I have found that overall it balances out. So if their was a crisis for her partner it was probably right for her to see him. We have experienced the same both ways. Wolf has had a crisis so Angel went to see him even though we had thought she would be spending the day with me. I wasn't well so Angel spent the night at home with me instead of spending the night with Wolf. It happens. Its only a problem if it becomes a pattern.
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Old 03-29-2015, 11:11 PM
Inyourendo Inyourendo is offline
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Nate has sex with others same day as me, doesn't bother me at all. The only time I've been bothered is when he was refusing to have sex with me because he was mad but them he went out and had sex with someone else.
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Old 03-29-2015, 11:26 PM
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zigzag zigzag is offline
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Nate has sex with others same day as me, doesn't bother me at all.
Me neither. When our V became a permanent thing I was concerned that Wolf would "steal" my sex time and because Angel was having sex with Wolf there would be less for me. That didn't happen. Just like he didn't steal any of Angel's love for me.
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  #9  
Old 03-29-2015, 11:56 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Women are generally quite able to have sex numerous times in a day. Having sex with someone won't hamper her ability to have sex with somebody else in the same day.
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  #10  
Old 03-30-2015, 06:02 AM
Kerala Kerala is offline
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Thanks for all those great comments. It's a help really. It's my first thread and I love that forum already :-)

And yes, I agree - in general it's true that my part of the cake didn't get smaller, just the cake got bigger in many areas, in terms of sex a LOT even. Therefore, countint really doesn't make sense.
I just wasn't sure how much time a woman needs from one occasion to the next and being really passionate there. nycindies comment gives a wonderful hint for this concern.
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