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  #31  
Old 02-03-2010, 07:24 AM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
It was nice being able to talk to the doctor openly and honestly about my relationship dynamic and get no flack.
Being able to talk openly and honestly about your relationships and sexual practices is one of the essential and necessary elements to maintaining your sexual health.

Thanks for the reminder of that
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  #32  
Old 02-03-2010, 01:14 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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I did that too at my recent appointment. Even though I haven't had any other partners since I got with my husband, I had the tests for all the diseases and everything, except pregnancy, including HIV and Hep-B, and thyroid, etc. Still have to go in and get the results, but I'm not worried (except maybe about the thyroid or anemia).

But I told the doctor why I was asking for this and she didn't seem disturbed by it at all.
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  #33  
Old 02-17-2010, 12:04 AM
katharinerose katharinerose is offline
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Thanks for this!
STIs have been the biggest fear for my wife in our conversations. She spent a lot of time in college doing HIV testing at a needle exchange and at one point wanted to go into HIV/AIDS research, so she's read many, many scary things and seems to fear that the moment one of us has a sexual relationship with someone else (even with barriers) we will contract HIV and DIE. (No, seriously, one of her thoughts was that only one of us should be sexually involved with others at a time, just in case, because she wouldn't want to leave our yet-to-be-conceived child an orphan.)

That said, I fully intend to use barriers until proof of disease-free status is in hand!
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So in search of love and laughter, I'll be travelling 'cross this land,
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And in time when you are ready, come and join me, take my hand
And together we'll share life out on the loose.


Dancing about Architecture: A Journey into Polyamory
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  #34  
Old 02-17-2010, 12:34 AM
katharinerose katharinerose is offline
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Interesting site with some pretty charts and graphs: http://www.avert.org/stdstatisticusa.htm I had no idea chlamydia had been increasing so much!
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So in search of love and laughter, I'll be travelling 'cross this land,
Never sure of where I'm going, for I haven't any plan.
And in time when you are ready, come and join me, take my hand
And together we'll share life out on the loose.


Dancing about Architecture: A Journey into Polyamory
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  #35  
Old 02-26-2010, 09:53 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Default How safe are condoms, really?

My husband used to be a real ladies man and has had tons of anonymous sex before we got together. He recently told me that he would like the ability to have random sex with women. (I'll leave my psychological concerns about that for another discussion.)

My first thought was the safety issue. I'm just really nervous about him getting something and bringing it home. He said "well I would always use condoms" to which I replied "well, duh. But condoms aren't 100%, they can break, and I'm not sure whether they protect agains warts, and I'm pretty sure they're useless against crabs."

I told him that one of the people on here had a policy that she never slept with anyone until "seeing their papers" and I thought that sounded like a great idea. But obviously impractical for bar pick-ups, etc.

So what's the scoop? I don't have an emotional issue with him having sex with strangers, I'm just worried about the safety factor of one-night-stands, even with condoms.
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Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 02-26-2010 at 10:55 PM.
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  #36  
Old 02-27-2010, 06:13 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Well I just got my "papers" but I imagine they'll "expire" before I find someone whom I want to see them. Unless you-know-who wants to make a cameo, but I highly doubt it.
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  #37  
Old 02-27-2010, 10:19 AM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I told him that one of the people on here had a policy that she never slept with anyone until "seeing their papers" and I thought that sounded like a great idea. But obviously impractical for bar pick-ups, etc.

So what's the scoop? I don't have an emotional issue with him having sex with strangers, I'm just worried about the safety factor of one-night-stands, even with condoms.

Unfortunately in this day and age, if you want to protect yourself against warts, that usually means "HPV barriers". That means having barriers for *any* intimate skin to skin contact...using gloves and dental dams. And yes, condoms do NOT protect against HPV for two reasons:
  1. Many warts are located where skin would touch skin even with the condom in place.
  2. When HPV is shedding virus cells, they can live on the surface of the condom and be transferred to your hand, another part of the skin that the condom may come in contact with and then transfer again from that location. In other words, it's a VERY tricky virius that spreads easily and can spread with second hand contact.

Since some varieties of HPV are oral, some people even put kissing behind that barrier.

(It should be noted that the vast majority of HPV viri are not permanent and do eventually clear up)

Now, while a lot of fun can be had with gloves, dental dams and some creative uses of lube, unfortunately, the vast majority of people would be picked up at bars probably wouldn't see it that way.

One of the solutions to that is to find a group of like minded people and just hang out with them. There are many crowds of sex-postitive people who like to have play parties but are always aware of and ok with the negotiations that go around HPV barriers and other boundaries that people may want to have in place for safe sex.

But yeah, because of the boundaries I choose (and a great deal of this is out of respect for the boundaries that exist among my sweetie and his other relationships), picking up strangers in a bar just doesn't fit with those boundaries.
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  #38  
Old 05-24-2010, 03:33 PM
victorearose victorearose is offline
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Default Hpv

If I test HPV negative is there any harm or help in receiving Gardasil at my young age of 40?
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  #39  
Old 05-25-2010, 05:04 AM
rubyfish rubyfish is offline
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Harm? Other than your insurance company may not pay for it, none that I'm aware.

Help? Maybe. From all the research I've done, the HPV test is not all telling. It's possible that you've had a strain and naturally cleared it long before you took the test. Remember, many HPV infections go away on their own with little or any harm done.

We've made the decision to get vaccinated and then go about our lives as normal, knowing that there isn't much you can do to prevent the other stains. Something like 25 % of people with active HPV infections have enough on their hands on a day-to-day basis to infect others.
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  #40  
Old 05-27-2010, 02:26 AM
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Lemondrop Lemondrop is offline
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The research I did basically told me that they haven't tested the vaccine on anyone over 30, so they don't know how effective it is. Also, the vaccine doesn't protect against very many strains, just the most common ones, so you can still become infected. It seemed more effective to be tested for HPV at your annual exams, if you can convince your doctor to do it.

ETA: I mentioned the testing as a way to watch out for cancer, which is why I did the research in the first place. HPV is transferred from cell to cell, so even condoms are not 100% effective, though they are of limited effectiveness. It seemed nigh on impossible to prevent any exposure to HPV, so the next best thing was to be tested annually. In me, HPV was undetected for at least ten years before it became pre-cancerous.

Last edited by Lemondrop; 05-27-2010 at 02:32 AM.
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