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  #211  
Old 05-28-2012, 06:40 AM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phy View Post
I am not so happy with my plan to have some kind of a weekly date with Sward. Lin was the one picking up on my idea and informing Sward that Sunday would be 'our day'. Meaning that Lin wanted to get lost in his room or next door (brother-in-law and sister) to give us some time and space. But when the day arrived, we went to the gym and did some things on our own later on. We weren't in the mood to cuddle up on the sofa and watch a film. Maybe we will manage to do so today. I need a way to get used to scheduled quality time as it seems and Sward needs to as well.
A full day may just be too ambitious a goal, especially for every week. Maybe just breakfast in bed and a few alone hours , knowing that the rest of the day will be spent on normal stuff. One week it could be a special breakfast and the next picnic in the park, etc.
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  #212  
Old 05-28-2012, 08:33 AM
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Glad things have levelled out with your ma, even if there are outstanding issues. Also happy to hear Lin can put the hurt to one side, at least in his ways of speaking and relating. You're all doing pretty well, given the outburst! Much love to you all on this one.

Re: scheduled quality time, one thing that's worked for me in the past is to take turns to organise what we'd do for the time we'd set aside. So it becomes a sort of surprise date.

I agree with SNeacail that a whole day could be a bit much to expect, but you could commit to some solid blocked out time for a bonding activity.
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  #213  
Old 05-28-2012, 06:10 PM
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My fault, maybe that was a bit unclear. No, we didn't intend to spend the whole day together, apart from Lin. Just long enough to watch a movie or such, to have some hours for us alone.

We managed to do so today. We stayed at the gym a bit longer and spoke to our favorite coach. I know, this involved a third person, but both of us felt like those was some 'couple time', as well as doing our training together the hours before. And we let Lin sleep in (he loves to do that, Sward and I are usually up early, or at least earlier than Lin in my case). That meant we could have breakfast together and talk and do stuff uninterrupted. It was a nice morning.

And thanks for the love, Fuchka
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  #214  
Old 06-04-2012, 04:29 AM
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Default Birthday and food

Time to update: A lot of minor stuff has happened.

In regard to the family, it was my sister's birthday on the 31st last month. We got some rituals around those days, meaning everyone gets together and sings our favorite song since kindergarden. I was a bit unsure if it would be OK to have Lin right there after what had happened, but I didn't feel like backing down right away. He has been with us on the other birthdays as well before. And there was a present from him for my sister on the table. (As you can see, still searching for reasons why it was all right ^.^' ) In the end, it was perfectly fine. We talked and had a good time testing some of her presents. My mother was mainly tired and not quite 'with us' in the end and my father spoke totally normal to Lin.

When I told Sward about my worries in advance, he said that if I was too unsure, I should talk to my sister and ask her. I didn't do that in the end, because it kind of didn't feel right to ask for permission to have my partners with me for something like singing a song and some idle chat. When I said something to Lin, he was like: I am part of this officially now. I won't be all over you, just like before everything will be totally normal and such, but I won't permit some shunning just because they now know about us. How should they get used to this, if I start to hide myself? Of course he was right. I am just a bit insecure right now.

Apart from that, I started a new personal project: Getting healthy food-wise. As I already told you, I started the cooking project some time ago and it went well. I learned a lot. Now I decided that sport isn't enough to keep me fit and to prepare myself for the pregnancy and everything that goes with it, I started to look into our diet again. There are some nice online programs that are able to make sense of all the little bits and pieces contained in our daily food and I started to watch out for fat and carbohydrates and proteins. A whole new world opened up before me Still so many information I need to get used to, but finally, after one week, I start to get a feeling for what is good and what could be bad. Definitely something that will take some time.

As I have been sooo bloated and the heaviest I ever been around the wedding of my sister, I wanted to get a grip on my weight finally. And it seem to work out fine, I already lost 6 kilos. Maybe I will be able to go back to my weight around the time of Sward's and my wedding back in 2009. That would be a first step. Still about 8 kilos to go from here (Adding partners does me no good, with every men who entered my life I gained about 10 kilos )
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  #215  
Old 06-07-2012, 07:50 AM
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The first changes are apparent on my body. Mainly in the upper region unfortunately We will see how much my figure will change I am not that happy with that special development, but well, my weight is going down, that's all what matters to me right now. Let's see how I will look like in some weeks. Sward and Lin assured me that they can't say they don't care, but that it wouldn't matter that much if I change my outer appearance drastically. Lin joked, that he, if the outcome wouldn't please me, would start to learn how to bake to help me gain some weight again ^.^ What brought Sward to skip in and offer him some help, as he likes to bake and has done so from time to time (back in the days, when he knew what the words 'free time' really mean *sigh*).

As I have touched on the time thing: My schedule is packed right now. I upped my sport and course time quite a bit and am busy work and university-wise. Another project of mine (the healthy food one) is doing great and I am able to squeeze in some time every day to plan a yummi diet for each of us. Lin is a bit miffy, because he doesn't like all the sea food stuff I absolutely favor and waits for some changes on that front. I will cook his favorite meal on Sunday; some kind of birthday present Sward was the one reminding me of an opportunity to give him a new drawing board. We can't afford the really good ones, but even a cheap one should be better than constantly drawing with his mouse.

Sward and I have a hard time sleeping in our bedroom. Our dog is having a serious diarrhea and produces some gasses you wouldn't believe it. As she is a bit older this can become life threatening. She lost 6 kilos already because of it and we aren't able to find the cause. We will try with some high quality food for now, as it may be a reaction to some additives in her normal food. If this doesn't work, we will have to look for some possible chronically reasons or dysfunctional organs. Not looking that great right now. I am really worried. I can't manage to stay in the room, when she 'gives it her all'. We have an air freshener, but it doesn't help that much.

(Totally not poly at all again. Seems as if our unspectacular life is back.)
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  #216  
Old 06-09-2012, 03:56 AM
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Default Sward, Cutie and Marrone.

Warning, absolutely poly related this time

Sward's inner workings. I thought about this for some time now. While talking about poly and what the future may hold, Sward voiced an interest in a mutual friend/acquaintance. Maybe it was helpful that I have always said that I could imagine him developing feelings like that, but whatever the reasons may be, I still was a bit surprised. It came up on a non serious level back then and I kind of suspected something from his side since who knows when.

She is totally his type. Odd thing is, I am totally not, theoretically ^.^ All of his girlfriends before me were small, blond, really slender, the overall impression: tiny and cute. I was and am the complete opposite. When we met (oh dear, I need a name again … ) Cutie is really just too fitting for her. Fine, when we first met Cutie, Sward and I cuddled her all evening long and carried her from one place to the other. Similar to how you treat little whelps. Everyone should know the special tone the voice is able to produce when seeing those little creatures. We still have that as soon as we meet her and she immediately flings her arms around Sward's or even my neck when we meet to be hugged and carried around for a while. Even if you add her arm's length to her body height, her feet lose ground as soon as we straighten up again. I like her, but she is not my type of woman for sure. Tooo damn cute

Well, be that as it may, Cutie is on Sward's list as it seems. There is no prospect in any possible way right now, but she was the one he thought of when I asked for possible future partners. Her relationship had just gone through a rough patch. During the bachelor party her boyfriend (the groomsman btw, my BiL's best friend) drank too much and didn't wanted to leave with all of us when the evening was finally declared to be over. She was tired and wanted to go home and there was some tension between them before and during all the wedding preparations as well. He said something along the lines that he doesn't care any longer what she does and that he didn't know if there was even some kind of future for them any longer. Seems like he finally spoke some kind of truth he carried in his heart. They fixed the problems as it seems by now.

But all of this got me thinking a bit. The 'what ifs' again. What would be my take on this, if Sward would decide to go after her, given the situation that her relationship really ended or the theoretical possibility that she and her boyfriend may be open to this. I doubt that I would want her around on a daily basis. Yes, she is cute and all, a nice person and what not, but she isn't the type I could live with. All guessing obviously, I don't know her that privately, we would have to try that out, but I think that she could have a side to her that would collide with my personal quirks. Nevertheless, I can imagine Sward having some kind of physical relationship with her (even though that is kind of hard to do, as she is sooo small, but the practical things aren't up to me to manage). I would need to get to know her for sure but I am not against this, when thinking about it.

While I pondered about this possibility, I could easily think about someone, I would never be OK with. Marrone. She has been an interest of Sward back in his teenager years. I really like her as a friend. But that's as far as it goes. I couldn't accept her as a love interest because of the way she handles her relationship right now. This speaks of her inner workings and values and it would be unacceptable to welcome someone who thinks that cheating is a proper way to end a relationship (Because all of us are convinced that she is searching for a way out without having the stressful conversation of just saying “It's over between us.” and be the one who ended it and therefore be 'at fault' for whatever she connects with this). I would be totally against him pursuing her.

As soon as it comes to my personal space, live and let live isn't at work any longer. I am such a controlling person, I realized. It will be extremely hard to find someone fitting into our real 'inner circle' so to speak from my point of view. Even Cutie is, right now, not fit to enter it. I will have an eye on things in that regard.
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  #217  
Old 06-10-2012, 07:14 AM
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Default Lin's birthday

Feeling so happy right now that I got the urge to write about it, and as I am here some more minutes till I can get active, I decided to get things on (virtual) paper right away.

It is Lin's birthday today. He is a soccer fan and right now the European championship is taking place. Yesterday evening we watched the game (Germany - Portugal) together on our couch, all three of us. I had thought about an evening just for Lin and me but it felt better that way, as Sward wanted to celebrate the evening as well. But he had offered to spend the night at Marrone's place to give us some alone time. Lin declined, as he didn't think of his birthday as something that special (Well, he turned 30 this year, it is some kind of special as far as I am concerned). They had a good time watching our team win (I can hardly say that I am a fan, I was a bit bored, but hey, whatever pleases them at least from time to time )

We went to Lin's room (my night with him) half an hour before midnight and kind of summarized the last year. As it has been his birthday last year, when I visited to make sure if everything could work out between us, the date felt kind of important to me. He said that everything went as good as it possibly could and that he was happy with everything right now (in regard to our relationship(s)). He is right, things are great and have been great between the three of us seemingly ever since.

When I got up this morning, I discovered Sward in the kitchen, preparing the favorite cake of Lin (bee sting cake). I didn't think of planning this far ahead, I am horrible at making presents in general and always forget about everything and am unbelievable uncreative. It was so sweet to see him standing there, making preparations, planning the course of the day (he wants to go to the spa gardens, walk around, go for a boat trip and such) and asked with a bright smile on his face, how the night has been.

*sigh* I love them. I can't say it any different and haven't actually said those words straight to Lin at all, but I do. (I trust you, you can keep this a secret for now. ) Looking forward to what the day may have in stall for us.
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  #218  
Old 06-11-2012, 09:05 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Your post made me so smiley!!!

You three have created a beautiful family, and I wish you all many, many more years of joy
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  #219  
Old 06-12-2012, 06:15 AM
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Smile Thanks and some pictures

Thanks Jenny for giving some feedback. Glad that something I wrote made you smile. Love making people smile. And so want to second your wish for more happy years to come

The day went great. We went for a walk. Both of them were a bit 'unmotivated' to walk that long, the spa gardens are huge, but we had a good time. Even though it should have rained, there was sunny weather, which was luck as well. Lin suggested to add some pictures, so here we go

First one was taken while walking through the inner part of the gardens, second was one of the rare landscape ones, but still outside the real gardens (we know that place, therefore we don't take pictures any more but I thought it could give some kind of impression) and the third is the only one with Sward in it, as he didn't let go of the camera all day long (as always - he is talking to Marrone, she came over later for some coffee and cake). I am not good at taking pictures as it seems, the whole angle is so off ^.^ Lastly, at the close of the day, we went to the beer garden. Hurray for sunny days when you need some *cheers*
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File Type: jpg DSCF1436.jpg (98.0 KB, 37 views)
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  #220  
Old 06-12-2012, 06:20 AM
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fuchka fuchka is offline
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Yay! Photos Thanks for those

I like the one you took. I tend to do sideways pics too. Ah, happy families... Love these experiences, they make for very sustaining memories. Heart food
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