Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #41  
Old 07-11-2011, 08:35 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,639
Default

Oh. Ya. And GET TESTED!
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 07-11-2011, 09:22 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,414
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SvartSvensk View Post
Magnum size, though, no problems.
Oh, now you're just boasting.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
You're makin' me worry about you I thought your generation knew this stuff!?
I know! I was under the impression that young people are just used to using condoms all the time, since they don't look back like us old people do on the days before AIDS and HIV when sticky, messy sex was the norm.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post against hierarchy in polyamory: http://solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-i...short-version/
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 07-11-2011, 09:43 PM
Chimera Chimera is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 66
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Oh, now you're just boasting.

I know! I was under the impression that young people are just used to using condoms all the time, since they don't look back like us old people do on the days before AIDS and HIV when sticky, messy sex was the norm.
I find that some of my students are amazingly knowledgeable about this stuff and some have no clue or get their info from their peers and it's often wrong. The interwebs do not make up for the sex ed that still doesn't exist in many many places in the US (and large parts of the world).

One change is that the stigma of teenage pregnancy has diminished some, making this generation less "afraid" (or so I've been told). And for some folks, they just don't care or the risk-taking is a thrill. Barebacking is becoming more common in the gay community, too.

It's just not cool to put others at risk, even if you're willing to take risks yourself. Get tested, use protection, and if condoms aren't your thing, then be inventive, move away from penetration-fixation.
__________________
"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."James Baldwin
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 07-11-2011, 09:46 PM
vixtresses's Avatar
vixtresses vixtresses is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: South Florida
Posts: 107
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Oh, now you're just boasting.

I know! I was under the impression that young people are just used to using condoms all the time, since they don't look back like us old people do on the days before AIDS and HIV when sticky, messy sex was the norm.
Sticky, messy sex is still the norm in most erotica, which is a lot of folks' first exposure to sex. Well, mine, anyway. :shrug:

ETA: I think for myself, part of the reason I don't have condom usage drilled into my head is the way I was raised. I was homeschooled, so sex ed came from my mom and whatever I could get from Encyclopedia Britannica. I tended to look up things like "reproduction" rather than "chlamydia", so I learned more about sperm-meets-egg=pregnancy than STDs. I was aware of the existence of STDs, but it's always been sort of a peripheral knowledge rather than internalized awareness. That and the fact that when I was a teen, my life goal was to find a husband and make as many babies as God would give me (it's just the values system I was raised with, in my very conservative family), so I never envisioned myself using condoms. That was something for promiscuous people, which was always "other" people, not me. Now that it's me, I'm having to change the way I think about things, and it's not as easy as it sounds.
__________________
Vix for short.

Last edited by vixtresses; 07-11-2011 at 10:13 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 07-11-2011, 10:23 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Somegeezer View Post
Some guys are lucky and it doesn't affect them,.
Condoms definitely have a negative affect on me. I have used them in the past for safety but never found them to be a very efficient thing for spontaneous sex or back and forth acts during sex. I like wet sex..simple and plain. I'll agree partially about sex with a condom not being worth it. Casual sex with a condom wouldn't be worth it for me, but sex with a partner I cared about would, and has been, plenty passionate and satisfying. And we're only talking penis protection here. Once you take in the bigger picture of fluids such as those exchanged through oral sex then the idea of protection totally kills it. I'd pretty much pick celibacy over a dental dam.
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 07-11-2011, 10:36 PM
TL4everu2's Avatar
TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Clearwater, Fl.
Posts: 907
Default

I'm with Mono here.

For me, sex with a condom is TERRIBLY inconvenient. From breaking it out, to opening it, to putting in, to removing it to disposal. It's inconvenient. Plain and simple.

Do I still wear condoms with women other than my wife? ABSOLUTELY! I don't want ANY kind of STD's. NONE! period!


Now, if I were together with a woman for an extended period of time (which is not defined) and they were exclusive with me and possibly their spouse, then MAYB E I would forego the condom with them. But....I have only come CLOSE to being that serious with two women other than my wife. And I was with them for 3 years, and 4 years.

Oral and a condom or dental dam? Not a chance. Sorry....Just aint happening.
__________________
There is a lid for every pot...Sometimes even two or three...
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 07-11-2011, 10:45 PM
Derbylicious's Avatar
Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603
Default

This just came across my desk today, there is now an antibiotic resistant form of gonorrhea out there. It's been found more often in people's throats than in their genitals (currently only in Japan but the world being the global village it is...) Just some food for thought for those of you opposed to protection during oral sex. If you are using a condom to protect you against disease with a partner it might be a good idea to protect yourself orally with the same partner.
__________________
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 07-11-2011, 11:28 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,639
Default

I have to agree that sex with condoms is not as fun, which is actually one of the reasons I don't have casual sex and one of the reasons I prefer my tribe being in a position right now of no one else coming and going from it. That being said. Condoms should be a must.... its just standard knowledge and stupidity to not follow something that is proven to me.

This is reminding me that I need to get tested again. Thanks for the reminder. I have an appointment for a blood test on Thursday. I will be asking to add some stuff to that test.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 07-12-2011, 12:35 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Custodian
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,221
Default

The thing is, when you're that young, you feel invincible; you feel as if you can take these chances and that the odds are you won't be the one who gets caught. That's how I felt when I was in my teens and early 20's. Then when I started getting cats and later when I became "serious" with my husband, I realized how extremely fortunate I was to have dodged those bullets (and I did once catch gonorrhea when I was 15), and it isn't something worth risking all I have going for me now especially now that I'm starting to enjoy my life again after the death of my mother 10 years ago and my hysterectomy last winter. But I digress. When you're younger you don't really have as much perspective of what you have to lose. If you die, you'll be dead, but what if you have to LIVE with something for a LONG TIME? Just saying...
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 07-14-2011, 04:07 PM
Somegeezer's Avatar
Somegeezer Somegeezer is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Leeds, UK
Posts: 806
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
This is simply unreasonable, SG, with so many diseases and infections you can get and pass on to others. It's bullshit, actually -- you only convinced yourself that you can't keep it up with one on. It's a mindgame, and you can undo that. Maybe you're just not used to it, but if you want to be poly and have multiple partners at some point, you can't go around having bareback sex with everyone. You can use a little lube inside the condom, and on the outside. Practice getting yourself off wearing one. Don't wait until the moment you are entering her to put it on. And condoms come in a variety of shapes and sizes for a variety of penises! Try a bunch of different ones and make note of which fit best.

Also look into Cherry wearing a female condom -- they are supposed to be more pleasurable for the guy. It's really stupid to refuse to get used to them -- your health and that of your partners are at risk. No one should be so cavalier about not making an effort.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SvartSvensk View Post
SG - try some different kinds of condoms as well. The regular ones suffocate me as well. I can stay erect for a little while, but nowhere near as long as normal with most condoms. Magnum size, though, no problems.
Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Somegeezer- practice, practice, practice. Go buy some different sizes, ask your friends what they use, go on line and get some info about uoir particular needs. Work it, work with her... And then report back please. You're makin' me worry about you I thought your generation knew this stuff!?
Sorry, I'm a bit far back in this conversation right now.

Of course I understand all about that stuff. But th comments about my generation certainly aren't wrong. There really are people that stupid around me.

I have no disease, she has no disease, we have no other partners. just me and her. Of course, I would always use a condom with a new partner, or just wait until they were tested. I've used pretty much every kind of condom I can get my hands on. The thinner ones certainly feel slightly better, but it still hinders me useless. I could count on one hand the amount of times I've actually climaxed using a condom. All of those times with my own right hand [to put it bluntly].

The same problem would come with the female ones for Cherry. She said she has used them before and they did nothing for her. She is immune to quite a few contraceptive stuff. Or they just end up messing her body up. She has been pregnant on both the pill and the implant, the latter of which she has in for about a year and a half [they are a 3 year contraceptive].

I feel the only option right now would be surgery [which aint happening], or abortion. I don't like the idea of her going through with the abortion for her own sake. I know if she were to go through with it, she would be very upset, possibly depressed.
__________________
[Insert witty comment here]
Feel free to add me up on facebook. - Just click here.
Do send a message in your request saying who you are and that you're from this forum. It will help me filter out any spam requests.
=]
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
children, disabilities, hurtful words, kids, pregnancy, safe sex, words

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:53 AM.