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Old 06-27-2011, 10:03 PM
Doubtfulaboutthis Doubtfulaboutthis is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2
Default Greetings everybody; I am completely new to this


I am a 43 year old guy that has been married to a wonderful lady for 20 years. We love each other very much, but each of us have had short term affairs during extended absences from each other. We both were hurt, but we are also realists. We understand that we can't provide everything each other needs; emotionally and sexually. My wife recently approached me about having an open marriage. I have to admit, I didn't like the idea while we were having the conversation; however, the more I thought about it, the more I get used to the idea.

I guess the bottom line is that I am reluctant to go forward with the proposition because of jealousy, and the proposition of being hurt. Does anybody have any experience with this?

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Old 06-27-2011, 10:04 PM
LostRane's Avatar
LostRane LostRane is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 48
Default welcome


I have and it gets better...
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Old 06-28-2011, 12:07 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Welcome aboard.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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Old 06-28-2011, 02:00 AM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 999

There are pages and pages devoted to jealousy, so yes, we have a bit of experience.
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Old 06-28-2011, 05:18 AM
MileHighQuad MileHighQuad is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 11
Default Welcome! :)

Welcome! I have done quite a bit of reading on jealousy. In our quad, where two male egos tend to rock the boat frequently, we have learned that being able to verbalize the jealous thoughts goes a long way to diffuse them. Just being able to say, " This makes me uncomfortable, and I feel jealous of ---" immediately opens the heart and mind to a more compassionate place. When those feelings are not expressed, they become huge and seem impossible to overcome. We have also discovered, more often than not, we are not alone in our feelings. Someone else in our quad almost always can relate. Communication, patience, sharing, and a willingness to move slowly have been SO very important in our own experience. Good luck to you and your loved ones. It's not an easy path, but I have found it completely worth the effort!!
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Old 06-28-2011, 05:49 AM
Doubtfulaboutthis Doubtfulaboutthis is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2

Thanks for taking the time to address the jealousy issue with this lifestyle. It was helpful.
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Old 06-29-2011, 01:24 PM
bella123456 bella123456 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 182

I would think everyone here has some experience with jealously.
And...yes - sometimes it hurts.

Which is not to say you should not do something for the worry of what may hurt.

It is also ok to do something for the thought it may bring some happiness..
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