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  #71  
Old 12-02-2011, 05:23 AM
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evrchanging evrchanging is offline
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Default Not so friendly friend

I bumped into a friend. He tells Jewell to "Man up" quiet a bit, so you know that he doesn't fully get it. Us being as private as we are give him no idea what was up. Jewell has told him about her transgendered, and he was okay with it. Still most understanding of gender just goes over his head. He had/has a partner. They were madly in love with each other. A couple years later she leaves him for her ex, and then is still trying to whore her way back in bed, and pocketbook with him. I heard from Jewell that she supposedly cheated on him. So, long story short, he immediately puts his trip on me. We've been aware of each others presence for 3 years, and hung out a couple of times. Really, I don't know him that well.

I was at the laundry mat with just Lover, and Woogie. He saw the three of us pull in. As soon as I grabbed a my laundry basket he came charging up demanding to know where Jewell was (using his male name of course). I told him we carpooled to save money on our town trips. Its so much easier and gets so much more done. I was glad I had Woogie with me that day, a rare day indeed, to relive the pressure of me being spotted with another man.

He was practically snarling at me adding that he was feeling "odd juju"(?). I told him there is no weird juju, then I stuck my head in the dryer and pulled the rest of the clothes out. He got the point and left in a huff. I am not a social light. I am shy, reserved, and like anyone can get mean when I feel threatened or my space invaded. It pissed me off. I know he was worried I was cheating on Jewell. We have been kind of waiting around for him to pop up, if he does.

Lover didn't get involved. He was listening in, mainly folding his own clothes, and keeping his eye on Woogie too. I watched him leave out of the reflection of the dryer as I was helping Lover fold some of his towels. He pulled out slowly stopped for a moment staring at me and then finally sped off.

I don't care what people think. Jewell, Lover, The Dew, Woogie, and I are happy. Jewell says we run at max. efficiency. I agree. We got a business up and running, a house almost built, wood cut, kids are well taken care of, animals are too. Hell ya. We do what works in our marriage, and as a family unit.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.

Last edited by evrchanging; 12-02-2011 at 05:40 AM.
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  #72  
Old 12-02-2011, 05:28 AM
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evrchanging evrchanging is offline
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Default Bounderies Part 1

Some of our boundaries created by oral conversation, bumps, bruises, and emotions:

1. Honesty, and maximum communication. This is hard for everyone. We have 3 people to have on the same page about a whole bunch of things, sex aside.

2. I feel more comfortable talking on the phone to Lover about some sensitive issues.

3. I keep bedroom things to myself. I respect Jewell, and Lover, and do not gossip about them.

4. Jewell doesn't mind, and is curious to see some PDA between Lover and I.

5. Lover on the other hand is uncomfortable about PDA, even hugging sometimes. He does sneak in a moment here and there.

6. Because of 4 Jewell takes the kids out first while I linger a moment for a quick kiss and a hug.

7. Call in a warning to Lover if I am coming over. Tell him if I am alone, with kids, with everyone, or just Jewell. If I tell him I am alone he might greet me at the door naky, so thatís important, especially if things change.

8. Jewell calls in a warning when he is coming to get me, so I am not running around naky.

9. I am the only one that can instigate a night over. I can get little nudges from Jewell, or Lover, but its my bag.

10. If someone feels uncomfortable about something speak up. If one doesn't feel right we take a break.

11. We all respect the right to rant, if its not an attack.

12. Because of the kids, and 8 years of touching Jewell and I show light PDA with no problem. Imagine two kids picking on each other with a quick kiss thrown in, not to teenagers who have learned out to make out.

13. Lover has instigated more care of the kids. Now he is not shy about cuddling and loving all over them.

This is basic. It is an oral and fluid agreement. I have a feeling there are a lot more little boundaries to our tribe. I think it gets the basics.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #73  
Old 12-02-2011, 05:30 AM
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Default Bounderies Part 2

Some of our boundaries can be seen like when Lover and I where driving home. Quick back story; Jewell has decided to take the kids leaving me for alone for Christmas all the way up to mid Jan. His parents are coming closer to their end, and this holiday season might not come around again for them. I told him that Jewell said it was okay if he came over to my house and spent the night. My problems I said where the fact that Jewell and I's bed just felt like a scared space. Her space too, and I respect that. Lover had the same feelings. It doesn't feel right, therefore my nights are still over at Lovers. I like the getaway myself.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #74  
Old 12-02-2011, 05:35 AM
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Default Bounderies Part 3

Boundaries in gender.

Jewell and I wondered if she should go as a male or a female to help a friend get to Oklahoma. J and C both promised to take good care of her and protect her for the few days she is there. I told her to not shave for a while and wear baggy shirts. She shaved right before. She has really evoked into a girl. Not shaving doesnít help very much. Its hard to see the male in her anymore. I packed her suitcase with lots of baggy shirts, gender neutral stuff. It was kind of hard to figure out this time. Nothing very feminine made it into her suitcase; except her pink toothbrush.

We want to join a community center. It has a swimming pool and a gym. What locker room? I told her she would get in more trouble now trying the males. She has gotten to the point of getting chased out of male bathrooms. I will go with her and protect her in the female locker room. What about bathing suits? She wants to swim. I think she can do the old trick of baggy shirt and shorts. I would think a one piece that fits loosely might work too.

I wish more people weren't so ridged in their views of gender. I sure do love her.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #75  
Old 12-02-2011, 05:43 AM
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Okay one more big post. Just kidding. I am going to bed now.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #76  
Old 12-02-2011, 07:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by evrchanging View Post
What about bathing suits? She wants to swim. I think she can do the old trick of baggy shirt and shorts. I would think a one piece that fits loosely might work too.
Around here a lot of the girls wear board shorts and tankini tops. There's lots of coverage, but it can still be feminine and girly.
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  #77  
Old 12-02-2011, 03:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
Around here a lot of the girls wear board shorts and tankini tops. There's lots of coverage, but it can still be feminine and girly.
Ohh, what a good idea. I start looking around for some.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #78  
Old 12-06-2011, 06:28 AM
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Yesterday, everyone around this area went in a tizzy. There was a storm coming. From the weather station a very big one. We went into our little town and gathered up some supplies. It was funny watching others dressed and haggard just like us. All of us getting what we thought was important, and disappearing back into our nitch of the mountains.

We left to Lovers to get water from him. When we got there we realized he was in a huge mess himself. I ended up staying to help him out. Jewell headed back home to hunker our kids, and animals down. It was just Lover and I out there for a long time. Both in coveralls, hats, and gloves. Only the air was biting my cheeks. To my relief, and surprise a friend came over.

This was the one that has seen Lover and I together, alone, on many occasions, not the one I ran into in the laundry mat. Well his help was needed. His company fun. I left to grab something and as I came back I heard Lover mumble "We carpool". I tried not to giggle as I helped clean up as the storm really was taking rage.

Finally the friend left. Lover and I ran inside as fast as we could to warm up. I asked him what the question was his friend asked. He said he wanted to know if I had moved in with him yet. I laughed out loud at his response. He wanted Jewell's okay first before telling the friend. He did get the okay, and he is excited to tell his buddy that he is my sex toy.

My sex toy worked hard last night. It could have snowed us in for all I cared. It was such a badly needed break for me. We touched and cuddled all night. As usual he was up before me listening to NPR. He didn't seem interested in a morning love fest. I teased him all morning to no avail. Finally, I gave up and tried to get dressed. That is when he pounced catching me delightfully by surprise.

When our storm had subsided we laid there just breathing and snuggling. Finally he wanted to go into town and get something before the next blast of the snow storm. I had made the mistake of leaving my wallet in my truck. He wanted to take me in anyway.

We braved the cold. I wanted a few more groceries to get me through tell mid week. He didn't mind paying. Especially since Jewell threatened me with death if I didn't bring a box of cornflakes home for the kids. We do a lot of swapping like that. He needs food, I buy him food. I need something the favors repaid. We do keep our finances very separated. But, for me to throw something in his cart and very much v.s. is no biggy. This summer he helped us out with gas and propane for a couple of months. I kept a running tab and paid him back.

We held hands for the whole hour home. I was sad that our time to be together was running out. I knew he felt the same way as he squeezed his fingers around my hand. I felt his jealously as I caught him trying not to look as Jewell greeted me with a hug.

I know its hard for him to leave me sometimes. He is always a little hurt to let me go. I feel the same way, but I have kids, and I have Jewell. He goes home alone.

This time last year is when things started unwinding unraveling and falling into place. That post will come around in a day or so.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.

Last edited by evrchanging; 12-06-2011 at 06:32 AM.
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  #79  
Old 12-06-2011, 12:57 PM
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As far as bathing suits go, miss pixi has a bikini and a one piece suit. Some transpeople do not swim for years because of the what to wear problem. Imagine being a transman who hasnt had top surgery yet and has large breasts! He'd need to bind his breasts under a tshirt. How uncomfortable for swimming!

miss pixi's bikini has a small skirt on the bottom piece. With her one piece, she wears "shapewear" under it so she can still tuck up her package. Some transwomen don't "tuck," if their packages aren't too big. Others don't care, and let the bulge be there. miss pixi is not hugely endowed, but feels more comfortable without the bulge. If Jewell wears board shorts, she will have to decide whether she wants to tuck (using tight shapewear under the shorts), or not.

Good luck to Jewell using the female locker room. miss pixi always uses women's restrooms and has since high school. (She's now 34.) Even though she was living as a male back in jr high and high school, she got permission to use the girls' locker room because of the bullying she'd get in the boys' locker rooms, because she was so effeminate.

Your snowstorm story was so romantic. I love the hot relationship you and Lover have.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

There's no lying in polyamory!

I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
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  #80  
Old 12-10-2011, 09:31 PM
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evrchanging evrchanging is offline
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Default 2010 The beginning

This is when it started getting heavy. I know that it was the roughest time for Jewell and I. The closest we came to the big D. Lover was like a best buddy for us. He was trying his hardest to keep the family together. I wanted to tear everything apart. I was getting by the holidays with grit teeth. Jewell was getting by the holiday season with a deep pain pill addiction.

Lover came over like he had for his second Thanksgiving as our great family buddy. I was doing everything half assed. I don't even remember most of that Thanksgiving.

A few days later I got shitfaced with my mother and called Lover late that night. All I can remember in that alcoholic stupor was him calling me a train wreck and my situation as a conundrum.

I called him two days later to straighten things out and told him the whole story of what was going on. He wanted to go to town so, I sucked up the embarrassment of what else I might of said that drunken night and carpooled with him to get our town chores done. We had a lot of deep talks that day.

He took me the long way home, and as he settled in taking his hat off he asked my why on earth I found him attractive. I didn't want to say something clique. I wanted something about him that was all him, the thing that made Lover Lover. "The weirdness that is you" I replied. He smiled and we sat in quiet or made small talk on the way home.

We had been really hanging out a lot since the summer. We both found attraction to one another. When one came on to the other they would get shot down. We were really working at keeping ourselves in order. That was one of those days. I borrowed his light and kept it with me. He helped load up my jeep and I left.

Dec 9th 2010, I went to town by myself. After my day of shopping was winding down I called Lover. Bravely I told him I would give him his light back if he would give me fifteen minutes in a dark room. He told me to come on over. I was nervous and scared. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I found my way to his place for the first time in the dark.

I sat with him across me a the table. He asked me what my request was again. I was shy and mumbled it. My heart was pounding. He moved stuff aside to see me better. He introduced himself as the magic man. (Corny but cute) I kissed him for the first time. I quickly realized he thought I wanted to leave Jewell and be with him. He also was subtly breaking me down, and tearing me apart. He told me he would tell Jewell, and If I stayed with him like that he would never be able to trust me. I finally had enough.

I got the clothing I had lost put back on. We only made it to a grouping third base. As I did I told him I was not looking for an escape from my responsibilities, and sure as hell wasn't looking for another relationship. He looked at me in disbelief and asked if all I wanted was a roll in the hay. I nodded. He was shocked. He sat quiet while I gathered my things to leave. He walked me out to my jeep.

"No hard feelings" he asked

"No hard feelings" I said. He kissed me again before I left.

I told Jewell of all that had happened that night. For a few days we talked. I asked her if I could have sex with Lover. He thought about it. His "D.N.A rifle" shoots blanks (vasectomy). His lack of partners, and lust meant he was pretty well clean. She finally agreed it would be okay.

December 14th, I was in dire need of propane. Went in with Lover. It was another hard trip to make, but we needed to straighten things out. As we drove in he apologized for trying to rape me and wanted my forgiveness. I told him we were just two friends in need. He hit his brakes. I asked him if he wanted me to walk.

He said no and looked me in the eye. "Can I have you. Can I help you"

I told him of the conversations I had recently with Jewell and that she was going to let me. Lover was excited. He wanted a privet okay from Jewell too. We bought champagne and enjoyed each other for the first time that day.

Dec 25th. Lover came over for dinner. He helped Jewell with milking and asked the big question. I let them alone the whole time knowing they needed to talk it out. Lover came back to me alone excited that he had his big okay from Jewell. It was an awesome Christmas present for all of us. Lover and I had a hard time keeping our hands to ourselves, but managed. Making dinner together gave us a chance to touch hands and rub shoulders.

Dec 28th- I drank a beer and called Lover. He wanted me to come over and spend the night. I didn't think Jewell would every allow it. I finally mustered up the strength to ask the question. She thought about for awhile and finally said okay. She helped me ready and kissed me goodnight.

My first night over was so much fun. A huge part of me was still very nervous, and full of guilt. Both of our veins were full of NRE. It was exciting and I loved seeing him just as giddy and excited. We made bread together. I was surprised it didn't burn as we were so busy with each other.

Dec 29th-I got back. Jewell had her face in the computer. She began to yell at me. She thought I had been sleeping with him since September, when our marriage was really tanking. I told her no. I told her the first time I did and she was quiet. I told her I had been honest the whole time.

I came close to not being honest I must admit. It was hard sometimes, very hard. I could have thrown the finally nail in the coffin of our marriage. We managed to work through it. Seriously it has had its rough days. Days when Jewell wanted nothing to do with me. There was a time when Lover did try to play a cowboy and take me away. Through it all we've established boundaries and set rules. We have navigated through an emotional land field.

It is a year now that Lover and I's relationship has been going. 8 years for Jewell and I. Hurray!! I still love waking up next to Jewell and she does me. Hurray!! Lover has been able to enjoy me for the short bursts that I come over. Hurray!! Everyone working together to make this family work, from kid care to farm chores. Crossing my fingers we can all have a easy going year this next year.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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