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  #21  
Old 07-06-2011, 07:39 PM
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Default Coffee

You can drink coffee straight. Black, bitter, coffee swaying alone in the vastness of your cup. You can have cream in your coffee. It blends it into a brighter tawny color. It cools it. It takes the bitterness out, the burn. Coffee is not so alone now as it sways back and forth in the vastness of your cup. Add a splash of brandy. It adds spice, and sweetness. It brings about a complexity that now sways in the vastness of your cup. Don't add too much. You don't want to ruin the coffee and cream. Its add a brightness that brings life to coffee. Cream and brandy brings out flavors you would miss. They bring me to life. Both together as I sway in the vastness of the world. I know I have to have cream my foundation. I cannot do without cream to take out the darkness in me, to tame the bitterness. I need the spice that adds the final flare to me. The splash here and there that brings it all together. The intoxicating brandy. Together they make the complexity in me. We make something complex, empowering, warming, and relaxing as we all sway together in the vastness of our world.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #22  
Old 07-08-2011, 08:51 PM
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Tonight we are going over to Lovers. Jewell and I. I have made a yummy stir fry that is still marinading in the fridge. I am very nervous because this is the first time that the three of us will be together with out the need for censoring around a 7 year old. Why am I nervous? I don't know. I have no secrets, and nothing to hide. Maybe I am still worried that I will get a no more. Then what? I go to nunnery? See I am being insecure today.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #23  
Old 07-11-2011, 04:19 AM
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Our dinner together just proved the love that we all three share. Lover for example really had fun talking and hanging out with Jewell: Alone! It was obvious that when I popped in to hang they wanted their space. Talk about metamour love. So I took a shower, looked for my necklace that got eaten by the bed, and took over lovers light jacket. Lover came in first to coach me on how to make his kind of rice (I use brown, he uses jasmine), and pinch my butt. We do not show PDA, at all. It is just how it rolls with us. When Jewell is distracted or we catch a moment alone we hug and kiss. I was working on dinner. No 7 year old, just the woogie, who is a great little self sufficient soon to be 2 year old. The night was really relaxing. In a way Jewell got to see what its like with just the two of us there and why I like to escape ever so often. When Jewelll took a shower I took over Lovers lap to kiss him, and bury his face in my boobs, which gets him giggling. Dinner was perfect. Everything was so relaxing. We when leave we have a unspoken thing we do. First Jewell and the kids leave. I have a moment to hug and kiss Lover before tagging along. Lover always says he is not going to walk me out, but he always does. As he waved us off he said he loved his insane friends. It made everyone feel good, especially me. I know in a way he was aiming it at me.

Lover takes better care of my children than my mother. That is hardly a complement to Lover once you get to know my mom. He has done so much for us. I do not know anyone that would not only take me on but my whole family. I am in town hanging with nutty mom! This will probably be the last time. It just hurts me too much. Whole different blog right there so I will stop. On with this week!! Maybe I will try to find Lover a better name.....
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #24  
Old 07-11-2011, 05:37 AM
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Default Sister?

Do I want to be called sister? It is the new title bestowed upon me by Jewell. Is it the death of our marriage, or the beginnings for rebirth? The title strikes pride in me. It still demonstrates our unbreakable bond. It is better than being called momma all day long. It has a metallic, bitter aftertaste. Am I even her lover anymore? Are we more best-buds? Is it okay? Can I work through the atrophy of the death of romance, and sex with her? The death of a thread that has ensnared us for 7 years? Why does it feel good, and hurt so bad at the same time (I am crying as I type)? I want to yell at her for what she has done, and for what I have done. I want us back free unencumbered so many years ago.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #25  
Old 07-13-2011, 03:40 PM
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I thought about spending the night with Lover last night. We all went over as a family. Boy was he a cranky butt. I came home really hurt. Not because of him personally but because of the depression. I fight with it, and seeing him fight with it as deeply as I do was unsettling. I will give him a couple days breather then go over alone. Other part of me just wanted to end it. I am so tiered of being with older (I said older not old) peoples. All 50 and late 40's. I want some fresh energy like mine. Late 20's and 30's. I want a friend that has kids like I do. Some one that doesn't judge me. I would like for once to not feel like an alien. I feel so stuck sometimes. I think how easy it would be if I could just leave it all behind me.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #26  
Old 07-13-2011, 03:45 PM
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The Patient lyrics
By Tool

A groan of tedium escapes me,
Startling the fearful.
Is this a test? It has to be,
Otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience, drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.

But I'm still right here
Giving blood, keeping faith
And I'm still right here.

Wait it out,
Gonna wait it out,
Be patient (wait it out). (2x)

If there were no reward to (reap / heal),
(No / A) loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out.

If there were no desire to heal
A damaged and broken man along
This tedious path I've chosen here
I certainly would've walked away by now.

And I still may ... [sigh] ... I still may.

Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this.

And if there were no rewards to (reap / heal),
(No / A) loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may.

Gonna wait it out.


http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/tool-l...nt-lyrics.html
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #27  
Old 07-14-2011, 03:38 PM
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Default A poem to Lover

Devastation shouldn’t be yours.
My flame I spread to you
To keep you warm inside
Tell I return.
My smell does fade,
Laughter held in memory,
Long after my body heat has left our bed.
I will return.
Uphold my flame.
The rarest gift I give to you.
I will return.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #28  
Old 07-16-2011, 02:57 AM
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So I did it. I said I was going over to Lovers, for no reason but to be with him for the night. Amazingly I had been making town trips and other excuses to bury the real reason I was going over there. Well I didn't blatantly say hey I need mad hard core sex either.

Yesterday, I asked lover if I could spend the night. He laughed and said he wasn't going to complain. I told Jewell I set it up. Then I worked really hard to get all my chores done. Not for getting done. No, from my heart I helped Jewell with the night routine. I helped hay the goats, feed the dogs, care for the rabbits. I made a quick yummy dinner. I bathed the kids. Funny how amazing you can feel as a 20 month old clings on to you like you are some magic world blocking force field. For a moment you really feel you are. With both kids quiet and in bed Jewell walks me out to the truck and kisses me goodbye.

I had Adell Rolling in The Deep play and it almost gave me a guilt trip induced heart attack. I quickly reminder I am not cheating. Helping the kids with their night routine took a lot of the homesickness out of me. I got my kisses, and hugs. So, I find another station, and carry on. 10:38 I arrive at his place and honk. He's just barley gotten into bed. He got up to greet me. As soon as I am in he wastes no time undressing me. I quickly climbed into bed with him. As we dozed off exhausted he rolls his fingertips like rain slowly up and down my body. Sometimes we even hold hands as we doze. I have woken up hours later to find us still hand in hand.

The morning is a usual one. He is up first smoking and listening to the radio. I lure him back to bed for seconds. We did our chores , ate breakfast, and as we were readying for a shower I even got thirds. I feel like it may be a day before I can stop grinning or sit right.

The shower was awesome. He took his time slowly washing every inch of my body. The appreciation, the joy, the love, was all bared and he wasn't afraid to show it. I massaged his back, and even did my special thing to show him my strong attachment. As we dressed I found the necklace that the bed had eaten. I packed up. I kissed him multiple times. I laughed as he told he me how bad he needed a nap. I traced his face one last time before bowing out.

I slow danced with Jewell with no music except our own. I burned the crap out of dinner. Ah, now just cuddle with the kids and watch a movie.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.

Last edited by evrchanging; 07-16-2011 at 03:00 AM.
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  #29  
Old 07-16-2011, 03:05 AM
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Default An awesome post made by Mono!!

Why would someone want poly vice cheating?

1) - Poly encourages you to grow as a person where affairs make you digress into irresponsibility and self denial of reality.

2) - Poly acknowledges and addresses the pain and emotions of your partner where affairs play people for fools; this is probably the greatest source of pain for those betrayed.

3) - It has the potential to become a fulfilling dynamic that widens family structures and generate more support and love for everyone involved. Affairs have a tendency to destroy families and severely damage everyone involved from spouses to children.

4) - It can set a positive example of communication and understanding for people around you.

5) - Poly relationships can increase love for everyone involved; affairs take something away from people whether they know it or not.

6) - You can be free to openly proclaim love to people around you. Affairs can become logistically exhausting and brutally stressful.

7) - Poly relationships can end with friendships and deep connections intact. Affairs usually end with total severance of ties and anything positive gets lost.

8) - Once your parents realize everyone is ok, they can often accept and be comfortable with the dynamic. Most parents would probably have a hard time hanging out with the person you are having an affair with…of course they probably wouldn't know.


Want it mathematically?

Affairs = short term gain, long term pain

Poly = short term pain, long term gain


<http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1123>


Thank you for this!
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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  #30  
Old 07-20-2011, 06:31 PM
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A slew of events left me at lovers house for the night Sat-Sunday. I lost control of the truck and crashed into a barbed wire fence. I hit a gravely pocket, with an empty trailer. With everyone in the truck with me I panicked and hit the break. It wasn't really bad we were just stuck. After I calmed the kids, Jewell stayed with them while I walked 1 hour (4 miles) in the mid day sun to get to lovers place. It was the closest house, on a very rural road, and we don't have a cell phone. Lover gave me loads of water to drink when I arrived. We headed back and he popped out our truck really quickly with his four wheel drive. Jewell dropped me off to give him a hand at something, nonsexual, farm work.

Jewell ran into town to get grain for the goats. He called me later to say he was just wiped out and wasn't coming until morning. Fine all I needed was a hot shower, and to crawl in bed myself. Of course I mauled the daylights out of Lover. I helped him clean up, and gave a great massage, before they finally showed up at noon. What fascinated me is 7 year old on the way home would not leave me alone. "You sleep in bed with him? Why you sleep in bed with him?" I played dead, or asleep. I know I should just say "Hey, he is my bf." I know I will have to say it sometime. Lover was saying just explain that you like boys, and girls. I have a wife and a BF? Yiikess!

Monday he came and got me for a town trip. I needed laundry done, and food. I know he was enjoying every moment of me. I made him laugh so hard during sex he lost it and fell out. We made dinner for everyone when they showed up around 6pm. Silently I had really been missing the kids. The unexpected left me busy all weekend. I wanted just one night with Lover. I got two and three days. I am not complaining. They weren't all at once, but still it was quite a bit for a week for me. As soon as Jewell pulled up I plucked Woogie out of her seat and cuddled with her as long as she would hold still. I suffocated Jewell falling asleep in her arms, and cuddling her all night. I have been giving Lover a break I think he needs, and I know I need. I am enjoying myself.

I do enjoy myself. I love to be alone as much as I love to be in the arms of my kids, or my lovers. I spent all day yesterday cooking, and cleaning. I spent time with The Dew catching up on math work. I cuddled and played with Woogie as much as she would allow. I do enjoy housework. I helped Jewell finish a few lingering farm projects. The day was simple, and I sucked every moment of pleasure out of it. Today just a repeat of yesterday, and tomorrow I hope follows suit.
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I make the letter V. I am married to my wife Jewel (MtoF) for 8 years. Adopted into our family is my Sextoy/SSO (Straight Male).--Not living together.
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