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Old 11-10-2009, 07:33 PM
Mika Mika is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1
Default Newbie saying hello!

Hello everyone! My name is Mika *wink* and I am new to the forum as well as to this lifestyle. I’ve been doing a lot of reading here over the past few weeks and wanted to thank each and every one of you for your intelligent, thoughtful and honest posts. I just wanted to share my story with you all, get some feedback and support and for someone to tell me I’m not crazy.

I have been married for 6 years (with him for 9) and we have one child. Up until now, our relationship has been mono. I’ve always been interested in multiple relationships believing that I am capable of loving more then one man. I never spoke of this with my husband because I was so sure he’d never understand. This all changed last March when I met the second love of my life.

Like so many others, I met *N* online. It started out as friendship and quickly turned into something more. We are, without a doubt, absolutely and completely in love with each other. That being said, I am completely in love with my husband and have no desire to leave my marriage. I agonized over my feelings for months, not sure what to do, not willing to have an affair. I didn’t want my relationship with *N* to be something to be ashamed of like it was wrong. So I sucked it up and talked to my husband and got the surprise of my life.

Not only was he open to it, he actually encouraged me to pursue it in a safe and respectful way. He isn’t sure if he is wanting to pursue anything, but will support me in any decisions I make, as long as our marriage and our child is my primary concern. He himself is open to possibly having a relationship outside of our marriage but for now, is not pursuing it. Should he do so, he will have my full support.

*N* lives in another city, I get to see him one weekend a month. We’re still new at this, but so far it seems to be working. *N* is older, has no interest in remarrying and respects that my husband and child will come first. He is also willing to commit to me, and will not be pursing other relationships (although I would support him should he choose do so).

This is still so very new and while ground rules have been set, we’re still working out many details. The communication between my husband and me is better now then it has been in years, and for the first time in my life I feel fulfilled – body, mind and soul. I have never been happier. I love both of these men so, so much.

Anyhow, that’s my story in a nutshell. Thank you for reading and I look forward to getting to know all of you better and to learn from you and your experience.


Last edited by Mika; 11-10-2009 at 07:36 PM.
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Old 11-11-2009, 01:31 AM
Incognito0330 Incognito0330 is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 9

Sounds like you have a good thing getting started. My wife and I started swinging and she didn't really like and ended up falling for a guy. She came to me and I had a similar reaction like your hubs. I was in the same boat as your hubs as far as dating and seeking other relationships. It seems to be harder for married men to find a person willing to date them since most women tend to think we are cheating and liars even when we have our spouses permission. So good luck to you and your family and boyfriend. Welcome to the group.
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Old 11-11-2009, 05:09 AM
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Sweetheart Sweetheart is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: in my mind
Posts: 125

Yes, Incognito, that has been my experience as well. It has always been effortless for my wife to meet people & start relationships, but that has not been the case for me. The usual reaction is a strongly negative one, even if the situation is thoroughly explained.
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Old 11-11-2009, 05:40 AM
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rolypoly rolypoly is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 350

Wow, that sounds like such a tidy package. Isn't it funny how sometimes others' reactions aren't at all what we thought they would be.
My heart is too big to fit into one person.
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