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  #51  
Old 06-17-2011, 05:39 AM
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Originally Posted by MindfulAgony View Post
Please post them. Thanks.
We're hijacking this thread my friend. I won't post them. It just gives the impression of a witch hunt or that I am bashing a book I don't like based on personal principles. I'll send you a pm with the links; I am a big fan of people doing thier own research but not giving the links will looks like they don't exist LOL! Double edged sword hunh
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  #52  
Old 06-17-2011, 05:46 AM
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It isn't that you don't like Sex at Dawn (since you haven't read it), it's just that you don't want to read it based on reviews and/or other people's feedback.

I totally understand. I am the same way about Ethical Slut. I don't know exactly why, but I have a real aversion to reading that one, based on some negative feedback I'd seen about it. I just don't want to.

Back to male sex drive: people have shared frequency and habits, etc., but I would think the culture, religion, attitudes toward sex one grew up with also plays a huge part in sexual practice and habits -- but that's different from drive, isn't it?
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Last edited by nycindie; 06-17-2011 at 05:51 AM.
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  #53  
Old 06-17-2011, 05:59 AM
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Ah man you guys make my job so difficult. I was considering moving all the posts, but fuck it.... I've tagged this "sex at dawn" now so to keep it on the same search as this thread where we actually are on topic... maybe it would be a better idea to continue discussion there and get back to men's sex drive... woot.
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  #54  
Old 06-17-2011, 06:19 AM
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
We're hijacking this thread my friend. I won't post them. It just gives the impression of a witch hunt or that I am bashing a book I don't like based on personal principles. I'll send you a pm with the links; I am a big fan of people doing thier own research but not giving the links will looks like they don't exist LOL! Double edged sword hunh
Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Ah man you guys make my job so difficult. I was considering moving all the posts, but fuck it.... I've tagged this "sex at dawn" now so to keep it on the same search as this thread where we actually are on topic... maybe it would be a better idea to continue discussion there and get back to men's sex drive... woot.
I did do my research, but didn't find all those links. Added them here. Frankly, I was looking for expert critiques and there just isn't anyone who would be qualified to actually peer review the material if it were submitted to a relevant scientific journal. But, some of the incompleteness in quoting is not defensible.

In terms of sex drive, Testosterone does have an impact, especially for women. Since we've been debating the value of primary research here with respect to Sex at Dawn, I'll throw in a peer reviewed article on this very subject. Real science on this very topic
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  #55  
Old 06-17-2011, 09:10 AM
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My sex drive isn't high, but I could certainly be happy with more than I get. There are many nights when I feel I haven't had enough and want to get at it all over again. But there are also nights when I just really don't feel like it and just fancy cuddling up and watching a film or something.

If my computer games or music are enough to distract me from an offer of sex, then I can't want it all that much at that moment. It's not something I'm going to die without anyways. I'm sure my partner feels more strongly about it too. She can get really horny and just want to drag me up to the bedroom, but most the time, she just wants to cuddle. Sometimes, not even that. We'll sit with me on the computer and her on the laptop and just be in our own worlds.

I'm 19. By what everyone has said to me for so long through my life, I should be at it 10 times a day or more. I just don't want it nearly that much though.
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  #56  
Old 06-20-2011, 06:54 AM
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I'm a 56 year old female whose been "dating" off and on for the past 9 years. The men have ranged from ages 34 to 64. The 64 year old is the only one whose had an equal sex drive to mine. The rest had a lower sex drive than mine. When I was in a poly relationship (our guy was at the hinge of our V), our guy was often too tired to have sex. He was 56 years old. So much for any assumption about all the sex going on in poly relationships!!
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  #57  
Old 06-20-2011, 09:43 AM
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Allow me to bring things back to sex drive...

First off, I'll address a few things from the original post. These are suggestions and guesses, they may not all make sense in every situation, but each one is true at least some of the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Erosa View Post
I have NEVER nice heard a man complain about his wife or SO's lack of interest in sex.
I would guess that more men than women would prefer not to admit they need help in the bedroom. This is probably a contributing factor here.

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Originally Posted by Erosa View Post
NOT EVEN ONE TIME.
But obviously there has to be more going on than just that.

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Originally Posted by Erosa View Post
These women HAVE told their partners they need more.
...this stresses the guy out

Quote:
Originally Posted by Erosa View Post
They DO go out of their way to be available anytime their male partner wants.
She should try the opposite. Simple economics, supply and demand. If he has to compete for her time (within reason) he will value it more. Also, hanging around waiting to get banged can come off as needy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Erosa View Post
They DO try every seduction technique in the book, study sexual arts, get the fancy lingerie, and finally in utter bewilderment turn to a psychic for adivce on the problem.
Have they taken care of his needs? This can be tricky because he may not even know what they are.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Erosa View Post
The excuses their male partners give vary from "let me finished this level of Halo" to "my back hurts" to "not tonight, the kids might hear us!".
I was married for a year when I was 22. Every night she would spend a couple hours playing computer games, while I sat with her and watched, trying to spend time with her, because I wanted sex. If I had just done the dishes and cleaned the bathroom more frequently, I probably could have been having sex. In the six-month-long email post-mortem that ensued about a year after the break-up, that's what we concluded had happened. I wasn't giving her what she needed and she was tired of trying to take care of my needs. It had nothing to do with biological sex drive, even though that's what she blamed it on at the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Erosa View Post
Can any guys or experienced ladies shed any light on this?
I've always felt that the frequency of sex in a relationship is generally a good indicator of how healthy the relationship is. It's certainly been true in the bulk of my relationships, though not all. But if you're positive that sex drive is the problem, then it's more biological than emotional.

There are a few things I would recommend, most of which are coming from the book "4-Hour Body" by Tim Ferriss, which I recommend to anyone who wants to lose weight, gain muscle, sleep better, run faster, basically anything to do with improving your body.

First off: Diet, sleep, exercise. Healthy lifestyle promotes healthy sex drive.

Second: Blood work. Certain vitamin or mineral deficiencies can cause a drop in sex drive. A couple tests and a supplement of magnesium or Vitamin E may be the answer.

Third: Increase luteinizing hormone (LH). Levels of this, rather than testosterone, are a better indicator of sex drive, and LH is an important hormone in testosterone production as well. Ferriss recommends the following protocol for long-term and sustained increase in sex drive:

Fermented cod liver oil + vitamin-rich butter fat -- 2 capsules upon waking and before bed
Vitamin D3 -- 3000-5000 IU upon waking and before bed (6000-10000 IU per day), until you reach blood levels of 55 ng/mL
Short ice baths and/or cold showers -- 10 minutes each, upon waking and right before bed (these also help regulate sleep)

Ferriss goes into depth in his book as to why this works, and I strongly recommend checking it out. If you just want to go into Chapters and skim the section, its on page 258, with details starting on 511.

Last edited by classycaveman; 06-20-2011 at 09:46 AM. Reason: one spelling mistake, one clarification.
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  #58  
Old 06-20-2011, 04:42 PM
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I just read this thread and I'm wondering how some of you have time for anything else if you're managing to have sex upwards of 9 times in 24 hours! I always figured I was pretty average in having a sex drive that calls for sex 2-3 times a week! There are weeks when I'm more interested and weeks when I'm less interested. I probably initiate slightly more often than my husband but I don't think either of us are feeling particularity neglected in the sex department (well other than the times that he is deployed).

So is the male sex drive a myth...perhaps as much as the female sex drive is one!
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  #59  
Old 06-20-2011, 05:42 PM
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I think a lot of this has to do with societal perception. Which is, men are supposed to be way more into sex than women. If a woman's sex drive isn't as active as her partner(s) would like, it's thought of as normal and something they just have to accept. Whereas, if a man's sex drive isn't as active as his partner(s) would like, well, men are supposed to be horny all the time, so something must be wrong!
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  #60  
Old 06-20-2011, 07:18 PM
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Quote:
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I just read this thread and I'm wondering how some of you have time for anything else if you're managing to have sex upwards of 9 times in 24 hours! !
Google calendar..
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