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  #41  
Old 06-15-2011, 03:41 AM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Sexual chemistry plays a huge role as well. At least in my experience.
Not sure I would know anymore . Ok, maybe not totally true, just don't get to test it out . I'm speaking from a long term mono marriage point of view. I'm sure your right.
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  #42  
Old 06-15-2011, 10:50 AM
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I would say it could be that women are more likely to ask a psychic about something like sex drive issues, and men would generally ask someone else? Because other people (for instance sex columnists) have no shortage of men complaining about that (although every so often it's the other way around).

I don't know if men have a higher sex drive than women on average or not, but there definitely are men with a high sex drive paired with women with a lower one. I don't know exactly why they don't talk to you about it, but they do to other people, and studies show they exist, etc. I think it's possible your sample is simply biased for some reason we might not know specifically that leads women to be open about it with you but discourages men.
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  #43  
Old 06-15-2011, 01:06 PM
Ummagumma Ummagumma is offline
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My husband and I are both 24. If I didn't initiate sex, it would never happen. Sexual chemistry and drive are different for everyone, no matter the age or gender IMO.
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  #44  
Old 06-17-2011, 01:36 AM
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
No need to apologize, I also don't put much stock in any source that is over popularized simply because it is interesting. I agree, peer review is very important to validate articles and information. That's why books such as the ever popular Sex at Dawn don't appeal to me. They get lots of lay people endorsement but actual peer reviews by people with credentials are few and far between..and often very critical.
This particular critique of sex at dawn doesn't hold. The book is based on Ryan's dissertation. Just because its popular doesn't mean it also isn't rigorous science. This book happens to be both.

Evolutionary psychologists are critical of the book because it pointedly reinterprets the theoretical basis of that body of work. I'm familiar with that primary research (not an expert) and understand their critique. But, this is actually how science advances...

Ryan's theory is a much better application of Occam's Razor on the available data. It is a more parsimonious explanation, which usually has better odds of being right. Only time (and more research) will tell.
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  #45  
Old 06-17-2011, 03:33 AM
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....Only time (and more research) will tell......
if they ever need a guinea pig....sign me up
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  #46  
Old 06-17-2011, 04:10 AM
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Just because its popular doesn't mean it also isn't rigorous science. This book happens to be both.

.
I won't post links to critical reviews that challenge the interpretation of other peoples' work by these authors because people already think I have it in for this book LOL! Anyone who researches reviews of this book can find them. This is a book, not a scientific paper. The people who endorse it have as much validity as the people who are critical of it's interpretation.
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  #47  
Old 06-17-2011, 04:16 AM
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I won't post links to critical reviews that challenge the interpretation of other peoples' work by these authors because people already think I have it in for this book LOL! Anyone who researches reviews of this book can find them. This is a book, not a scientific paper. The people who endorse it have as much validity as the people who are critical of it's interpretation.
Mono, even if you disagree with their conclusions, does not your own choice of lifestyle, even as an entirely monogamous individual, to a certain extent reinforce them? Seeing as you are happily participating in a MFM vee relationship, and all...
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  #48  
Old 06-17-2011, 04:41 AM
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Mono, even if you disagree with their conclusions, does not your own choice of lifestyle, even as an entirely monogamous individual, to a certain extent reinforce them? Seeing as you are happily participating in a MFM vee relationship, and all...
I don't actually disagree with some of their conclusions (which I am familiar with). I disagree with the idea that the book does not take leisure with other people's research at times and has hand picked some information to make their intended points. This is easy to get away with because this is a book. I don't believe it has been submitted as a research paper to any scientific institution. Why...likely because it would not hold up to serious peer review by qualified scientists in the field. If some one knows of an independent peer review of the book by unaffiliated scientists from a reputable university or organization I would be glad to read that..I just haven't found that type of support. So, to me the book stands as a very well informed opinion with no more validity than the next well informed opinion.

My being with Redpepper has nothing to do with my choice of lifestyle, my friend. This is the environment and dynamic that the woman I love and trust more than anymore just happens to be in It works for me but if not for her as my bond to this I would be back in my old community (with a much better understanding of how people love). I don't identify as poly. I just happen to be a monogamous guy with a poly Life Love. I haven't changed internally, I love one person romantically. I can't imagine that ever changing.

I don't define poly or mono as a function of how we act externally: I see it as a function of how we are internally.
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  #49  
Old 06-17-2011, 04:49 AM
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im a 27 yo male. what i think may be part of the probelm with MY sex drive:

1. the escelation of drinking caffinated sodas to energy drinks. 3 a day cant be good for my hormonse

2. much more young adult male's are into video games, having been raised infront of that all mighty nintendo. i dare say that i would be alot more enguaged in beating my wifes pussy into submission if it wernt for that damn call of duty.

3. being military, when i come home, fucking isnt the first thing on my mind. first its shower, then its couch, then its bed, THEN its fucking. but by then... its too late

4. with so much on social networking sights about "treat your woman rite" "im not a sex object" "you got to start warming her up earlie in the day for the action at night" SOME, the very fiew in fact (realized after reading this that i aws going to get my head bittn off because of this so i decided to rephrase it) guys that had that sexual object idea of their women in the beginning of their relationship "puppy love" realize they half to work for it and get lazy

there are some other little social things (outside of poly) that i can think of that would probably contribute to men being less interested in sex than the steriotype proclames. but id half to think more on them.

what do you think?
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  #50  
Old 06-17-2011, 05:26 AM
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I won't post links to critical reviews that challenge the interpretation of other peoples' work by these authors because people already think I have it in for this book LOL! Anyone who researches reviews of this book can find them. This is a book, not a scientific paper. The people who endorse it have as much validity as the people who are critical of it's interpretation.
Please post them. Thanks.
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