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  #71  
Old 12-13-2011, 04:23 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Nah, I dont care about the motorcycle, I'm wondering what living loud and hitting it hard is like in SF and Toronto! Getting drunk, one night stands? Leather, bondage and floggings? What, man?
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me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32
my bf: Ginger, 61, married to:
Robin, 60 (mono)
and dating (NRE): Carla and David, married couple, early 40s
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  #72  
Old 12-13-2011, 07:07 PM
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Arrow yeee hah!

have at it, Freetime!
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  #73  
Old 12-17-2011, 03:53 PM
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Carma Carma is offline
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Hey, FT, poly didn't work for my marriage, either. But I learned so much along the way, I can't say the journey wasn't a worthwhile one. I hope you're doing ok.

Watch the partying -- hangovers, ugh. Not just the physical ones, either -- the emotional ones really suck.

Thinking of you.
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  #74  
Old 12-17-2011, 08:54 PM
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Thinking of you Freetime. I hope you are getting some support from people around you so you don't self destruct. Things will get better.
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  #75  
Old 12-18-2011, 10:21 PM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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The details I'll keep to myself, but I rarely lacked company, partied like it was 2099 aaaaand, apparently wasn't as discreet as I thought I was. I may lose my job over the company I was keeping.

But even if I don't lose this gig, it's a wake up call. I'm starting to reach out to friends, finding a way to heal my spirit and deal with my grief.

I found a community here in my hometown of some very down to earth spiritually grounded individuals who I hope I'll get to spend more time with.

It's been hard for me to stay with the idea of love and gentleness when I'm experiencing so much loss. And I'll never make it alone.

I'm one soul tired human being, and this is just to big for me to carry on my own.

So, there you go. Good to talk to you all again, I missed you.

FT
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  #76  
Old 12-18-2011, 11:58 PM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Default So the question was asked....

.... if you're getting divorced, are you still poly/open? And I realized that yes, yes I am. I may one day decide monogamy is for me, but it won't be anytime soon.
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  #77  
Old 12-19-2011, 07:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freetime View Post
I found a community here in my hometown of some very down to earth spiritually grounded individuals who I hope I'll get to spend more time with.

It's been hard for me to stay with the idea of love and gentleness when I'm experiencing so much loss. And I'll never make it alone.

I'm one soul tired human being, and this is just to big for me to carry on my own.
Good. I'm glad you have some people near you that sound nurturing. It might be a way to build something new up again.

You are never alone Freetime. Head to nature and you will see. Soak it in.... remember camping and those trees I showed you. That is where I go. Maybe there is a place you go?
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  #78  
Old 12-20-2011, 01:26 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Well, A man of two worlds. One that satisfies my need for adrenaline and excitement, the other that fills my need/desire for peace of mind and love.

I'm going with the second alternative, at least for now. I've been at war within myself for so long I barely remember who or what kind of man I had hoped to become.

I have no idea where my current journey will lead me, but I'm letting go of the shame, the blame and the anger.

I've also let go of the GFs. All of them. The motorcycle is coming soon. I'm heading to a bike show in Jan here in my hometown, where I'll hopefully pick up my Harley Nightster.
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  #79  
Old 12-20-2011, 03:29 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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A nightster...great choice...sounds like your planning a happy new year. Good for you.

Very sorry to hear things have devolved so badly with your wife. It's shocking how mean and uncaring people can being and the stupid reasons for it. Take care of yourself ...and good luck.
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  #80  
Old 12-21-2011, 09:25 PM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Default Now. I know.

This entire year has never been about polyamory. What it has been about is letting go and acceptance.

Along the way, I've met some of you in person, talked to others on the phone or communicated through PM and this board. Thank you.

Thank you for caring about one tired and very frightened human being, long enough for him to understand and find support closer to home.

Some journeys were meant to be walked alone. This wasn't one of them.

I will always be a member here, for you are my community. You are the first ones I reached out to, who listened and offered guidance, support and love.

My journey from this point forward is not known, a mystery. But I know I do not walk it alone.

Peace be with you all.

Freetime
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