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  #31  
Old 06-23-2011, 06:10 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by Freetime View Post
Well if things keep going in the direction they did today, I'll have all the free time I did when this began. scared one GF this am, had the other leave suddenly with little explanation this afternoon...
Scared her??? How? Left with no explanation and you have no idea why, really?

Quote:
...and if my wifes BF gets any more fucking perfect, I may just pull the pin on this whole deal.
Awww, isn't she worth the best? You wouldn't want a less than great guy for your best beloved, one who didn't treat her right, surely?
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #32  
Old 06-23-2011, 06:16 PM
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Carma Carma is offline
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Freetime,
I guess your wife really knows how to pick a winner -- she chose you!
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  #33  
Old 06-23-2011, 06:22 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Head up... put your helmet on, cup in.... this is full contact love ...get back in the game. .....go have some fun ... D
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Awww, isn't she worth the best? You wouldn't want a less than great guy for your best beloved, one who didn't treat her right, surely?
^^^^This and this!

Life's just a great big fucking adventure, dear. Roll with it. It doesn't do anyone any good to pull up short and screech to a halt. That's how you get whiplash.
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Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
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  #34  
Old 06-26-2011, 10:10 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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FUCK! Nothing makes sense. Then again, I'm not sure it was ever meant to.

We now return to our regularly scheduled program.
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  #35  
Old 06-27-2011, 04:50 AM
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Feedhercandy Feedhercandy is offline
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Default There's me and then there's the forum me

I haven't had the time to keep up with the forum for the past few weeks, and it has been an interesting experience to come back and read posts that mention moments / emotions involving me. I've never had the experience (I think I will use this word a lot in this post - sorry) of reading a review of a date someone has had with me, followed by advice and questions regarding it. So very, very interesting. Both my husband and boyfriend are very private people and I, though a talker, tend to keep my most personal experiences quite private.

I decided to add to this thread instead of starting my own because I seem to exist most tangibly (on this forum at least) through it. Someone some days back questioned Freetime regarding his choice to use the word gf to describe the non-marital women in his life. Funnily enough, he and I had the same conversation today, since this term for me denotes commitment and a certain depth of potential expectations. It is not a term that I would use easily, and its use - after a very short period of time - makes me - frankly - twitchy.

One of the things that I love about the poly experience, is the amount and depth of communication that needs to take place for any actual relationship progress to be made (did I say progress, I meant continuance). I wonder if that is true for the majority of poly relationships. The popular book advice seems to suggest so, but I wonder if actual human reality matches it (the way it has for me).

And this forum, even more so when having your "people" participating in it, makes at least some of the communication that much more transparent and referencable.
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  #36  
Old 06-27-2011, 09:25 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
I remember you talking about getting a motorcycle didn't know you had. That was perfectly played .....you are my new hero. What kind of bike did you get. I'd start with a day or weekend trip first.

As far as these relationship stumbles..... learning curve issue..... just figure out what happened and make the appropriate corrections. You'll be fine ..you could be over thinking everything. Blame it on NRE and move on.

Head up... put your helmet on, cup in.... this is full contact love ...get back in the game. .....go have some fun ... D
Sorry Brother, no bike yet. Just the desire, and will to have it. To have all of it. Thanks for the thought though. The bike isn't that far off, and niether is the rest of it.
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  #37  
Old 06-27-2011, 09:31 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Feedhercandy View Post
I haven't had the time to keep up with the forum for the past few weeks, and it has been an interesting experience to come back and read posts that mention moments / emotions involving me. I've never had the experience (I think I will use this word a lot in this post - sorry) of reading a review of a date someone has had with me, followed by advice and questions regarding it. So very, very interesting. Both my husband and boyfriend are very private people and I, though a talker, tend to keep my most personal experiences quite private.

I decided to add to this thread instead of starting my own because I seem to exist most tangibly (on this forum at least) through it. Someone some days back questioned Freetime regarding his choice to use the word gf to describe the non-marital women in his life. Funnily enough, he and I had the same conversation today, since this term for me denotes commitment and a certain depth of potential expectations. It is not a term that I would use easily, and its use - after a very short period of time - makes me - frankly - twitchy.

One of the things that I love about the poly experience, is the amount and depth of communication that needs to take place for any actual relationship progress to be made (did I say progress, I meant continuance). I wonder if that is true for the majority of poly relationships. The popular book advice seems to suggest so, but I wonder if actual human reality matches it (the way it has for me).

And this forum, even more so when having your "people" participating in it, makes at least some of the communication that much more transparent and referencable.
Hello Beautiful, Glad your back. Thinking about you. I can no more slow down then you could speed up, and that's all good. And the cool thing about it is neither of us has to. Talk to you tomorrow.
Sleep well M, say hi to C for me.

Freetime

All the time, Every time.
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  #38  
Old 06-30-2011, 07:04 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Default Life's funny.

I had an epiphany tonight while at a poly meet up. I don't fit. And I'm never going to. life's short, I've got shit to do and no time for pretense.

I'm in this because I chose to be, but I have ground rules as to how I treat others and as to how I'll allow others to treat me.

I worked very hard tonight to make contacts, reach out and make others feel welcome, set up coffee dates, movies dates and other such nonsense when it occurred to me...what the fuck am I doing here? Most of these people have no interest in me, my life or why I'm here. None. And that was the moment I relaxed and decided to pull the plug on Being a social butterfly and get back to what I enjoy. Guns, Girls, fast cars and other such goofiness. Love my life.

I'm a social chameleon, I can adjust to just about any arena, but I don't want to. Not even a little bit. I got lost trying to be something I wasn't and I'll be fucked if I'm going to start that noise again, just to fit in with Poly.

I've met some very very cool people along the way, and I met more tonight. I'm definitely looking forward to spending time with those who had a real interest in my life, and moving on from those who don't.

When you don't drink, it's interesting what you see happening around you, and as a trained observer I miss very little, and tonight I saw more then I know some folks would have wished.

Motorcycle.... open road.... soon. So very very soon.

Last edited by Freetime; 06-30-2011 at 10:59 AM.
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  #39  
Old 06-30-2011, 11:36 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Default Love and Kindness.

Polyamorous relationships.

In my so very short time along this walk, it has become apparent that it takes a very special person to successfully navigate the Poly experience.

I've been both spectator and Player in this dance, and I am quickly coming to realize that "poly" is used as a descriptor for a wide variety of relationships, some of which look a lot more like swinging than poly.

I don't get the "let's date everybody" attitude. I just don't. It puzzles me because it ends up limiting the time we have with those who we already have relationships with, and or are just developing. I'm watching those around me in hot pursuit of new/ different / more while barely spending time with those they've just started getting involved with. Weird. But what do I know, I'm new to this so maybe I'm wrong and this is what it's supposed to look like, but I don't think so.

I'm a simple man, All I want is to love, be loved, and have fun along the way. Oh, and a Harley 1200cc Nightster.

Anyway, As I sit here, I find myself focusing on what I really want and what I'm willing to give and it still comes back to some very basic concepts.

Love and kindness.

I'm an imperfect creature, and I must remember that so are the people I'm involved with. I'm going to keep my circle fairly small right now, I want to build on the relationships I have before I go out seeking new ones. Probably best for everyone really.

Hope y'all have a good day. I know I plan to.

Be well.

Freetime
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  #40  
Old 06-30-2011, 02:57 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freetime View Post
I had an epiphany tonight while at a poly meet up. I don't fit. And I'm never going to. life's short, I've got shit to do and no time for pretense.

I'm in this because I chose to be, but I have ground rules as to how I treat others and as to how I'll allow others to treat me.
Freetime,

I'm just curious. Feel free to ignore my questions. And naturally you shouldn't make yourself it in where you don't want to.

I often wonder about who feels comfortable and welcome at organized poly functions, and who doesn't. Did you have nothing in common with the folks at the meet up? Political or social differences? Weird vibe? I think the poly groups I've gone to do a decent job welcoming people, and reaching out to new folks. But, of course, people who do not feel included don't return and don't offer feedback on why they move on.

What ground rule breakage triggered this post? Was booze a factor?

Thanks!
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