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  #91  
Old 01-02-2012, 04:52 PM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Location: Canada, where people yell yeha for ten days and throw up on there shoes.
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Angry My last day...

...here, has arrived. I move to my own apartment tomorrow morning. I am quiet, sad right now as I pack up the last of my things. So many memories, good ones of love, life and laughter. I'm going to miss this house, it's presence and all it holds that is dear to me.

20 yrs of marriage comes to a close tomorrow. A true ending. When the last of my things are removed from this house, I'll consider my relationship with T fully closed as well.

I'll always be her friend, but thats a new relationship to be formed, and can only be done if the old relationship is truly over.

This is a difficult day for me, The next few days promise to be hectic and full. I have so much to do.

What was, isn't. And what is, soon won't be.

Change. The natural state of everything.

Be well

Free time.
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  #92  
Old 01-02-2012, 08:10 PM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Default Time to clean some thing up.

In past posts I've not spoken well of T. I did not speak from love. I spoke from fear, anger, childishness and spite.

My marriage with T is ending because it's time for it to do so. End. At any moment I could have chosen to see this, and accept it for what it is, the truth. But instead I chose to fight. And that made it hard for us both. I have said and acted both childishly and hurtfully towards her when in reality the only problem was....me.

A message to T.

I am so sorry for what I've said and done. I'll make amends as I can. You are a beautiful and joyous child of the universe. You always have been. I will always hold you close in my heart, even as I let go of you tomorrow.

No more anger, no more tears. Just love.

Be well T.

Love, FT
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Last edited by Freetime; 01-03-2012 at 02:07 AM.
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  #93  
Old 01-13-2012, 01:46 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Location: Canada, where people yell yeha for ten days and throw up on there shoes.
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Default Is it always like this?

When I finally surrendered, when I finally let T go, I found what I've searched for my entire life. And her name is R.

She has read this story, and still loves me. My brain seeks reason and logic. My heart needs either. It just knows. And I am content to just let it be.

I am as I have always been. Only now I know what that truly means.

Hello R. Be welcome here. These people are my friends and it is they who helped guide me to the truth and loved me at my lowest times. They are my tribe, and I welcome you to meet them.

And to you all, I introduce R. She's my friend, and my love.
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Last edited by Freetime; 01-13-2012 at 02:28 AM.
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  #94  
Old 01-13-2012, 02:21 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Location: Canada, where people yell yeha for ten days and throw up on there shoes.
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Default A message from R.

"I love the people on your forum, they are like family.your tribe.

Wonderful, smart, intelligent people. People willing to support, encourage and help someone they've never met"

Some stories and advice resonated so deeply with me. They made me laugh, they made my heart hurt. They made me feel proud.

This from R. To you.

She is also grateful that you are in my life. As am I.

She will post when she can, but she wanted you all to know what she feels about you. So know you know.
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  #95  
Old 01-14-2012, 05:03 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Default

Sweet
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #96  
Old 01-18-2012, 08:49 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Default Risk it all.

I could play it safe. Go slow, take my time. But if I did that I would have missed what's happening right now.

Opening up and dropping the acts, the masks, the pretense. Showing someone who I truly am isn't the risk at all, the risk is missing my life by holding onto those illusions.

Letting go and following my heart has opened up my life to loving freely, and being loved completely.

R lives within me, always there, always in love. My equal in all things.

Reason be damned. This is my life and I'll live it as fully as I can. I'm learning to listen to my heart, live passionately again and walk with my head up.

A lesson to remember. A message to remind me.
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  #97  
Old 02-29-2012, 04:34 AM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Default And our next contestant is....

....Monogamous! Come on down! You're the next contestant in "holy fuck is my life weird! " Sorry dave, but it,s true. I'm in a mono relationship. And loving every minute of it.

Sooooooo...... Do I have to give back the secret decoder ring and log book?
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  #98  
Old 02-29-2012, 01:53 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freetime View Post
....Monogamous! Come on down! You're the next contestant in "holy fuck is my life weird! " Sorry dave, but it,s true. I'm in a mono relationship. And loving every minute of it.
Well, you're in NRE. See how you feel in 6-18 months and get back to us.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #99  
Old 02-29-2012, 02:10 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freetime View Post
Sooooooo...... Do I have to give back the secret decoder ring and log book?
Naaah, keep them. You'll be back. [cue evil laugh]
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  #100  
Old 03-12-2012, 04:13 PM
Freetime Freetime is offline
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Default Funny ole world.

Well the journey continues. I was fired Friday from my job. I've given notice that I'll be moving at the end of the month and I'll be moving in with my GF.

I have no money, CC are maxed and I have no idea what I'm going to do for a living, but I'm happier than I've been in a long time.

I'm going to take some time and just look at my life and start doing what I want to do and not what I think I have to do. I've been trying for far to long to fit in to a world that I really don't care about. Soooo time to go find out where I do fit, and go from there.
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