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  #21  
Old 07-04-2011, 08:04 PM
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LostRane LostRane is offline
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Unhappy Why is this so Hard

WHy is it so hard for me? Draco wants a date night with Rane and for some reason it bothers me.. He wants to wake up with her and just her. that kills me. How do i deal with these feelings? what do i do? Please help me and give me the guidance i need... i am going to be the reason that Rane gives up her relationship with Draco and will be miserable, and carry a grudge against me forever..
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  #22  
Old 07-04-2011, 08:17 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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It may be too soon for you in your and Rane and Draco's relationship to be confortable with sleepovers. (I assume he is asking that Rane stay at his place overnight.) Please be able to talk to Rane and Draco about this - you have the right to tell them that, even if the resolution does not turn out to be exactly what you want.

Is there some middle ground you would be confortable with? Also, try to narrow down what you are uncomfortable with. Is it the waking up together? (Since Beloved and I are in a LDR, we have not had to confront this yet - it would likely bother me too to have her wake up in another's bed - and vice versa.) Is it the time away from you and your home? Is it that you are specifically excluded? If you can narrow down the 2 or 3 things that really tweak you about this situation, sometimes that helps in finding resolutions. For example, if her waking up elsewhere in the morning is the main driver (and I'm not saying it is), perhaps they could have an afternoon nap together but return home for evening.

Finally, don't take all the responsibility for the ending/continuing of their relationship on your shoulders! You are not responsible for that. Yes, you have influence as a partner but that is ultimately between them. Do not take on burdens that are not (solely) your own.
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  #23  
Old 07-04-2011, 08:40 PM
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LostRane LostRane is offline
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Default You are wise

Draco wants her to stay at his place once a month so they may wake up to each other. Draco spends 3-4 nights at our home in our bed and I am comfortable with it. I like the idea of an afternoon and then to come home in the night. I will suggest that.

I think I just so badly want to belong with them that I am not listening to what they both want. Draco wants one on one time with Rane, with me and as threesome. Rane hasn't been saying too much but is going to start speaking up. My demons are screaming so badly that i cant hear my heart or mind talking.
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  #24  
Old 07-04-2011, 08:43 PM
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LostRane LostRane is offline
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Default A fwb for me?

I have started talking to a woman on line hoping it would take my mind off Rane and Draco spending one on one time but it has done the opposite for me. I feel like I am cheating on Rane and feel wrong. This woman wants to be my friend and my fwb but i dont think i can even meet her. I am going to tell her tonight for its eating me alive. as crazy as that sounds.
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  #25  
Old 07-04-2011, 09:04 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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They can have a date night without it being an overnight stay.
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  #26  
Old 07-04-2011, 10:21 PM
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LostRane LostRane is offline
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Default date night

yes they can and they are going to.. I think i am going to be home chilling with our dogs..
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  #27  
Old 07-05-2011, 12:40 AM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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Wendigo and I have been together for 2 years now and we have yet to have a one on one over night, though honestly I'm not sure where we would have such a thing. The closet we've come is one night back in the early days where Runic Wolf allowed us to have an evening date; in which Wendigo took me shopping at an adult store and then we came back here for the evening. We had a nice hour long nap together afterwards until Runic Wolf came home from his game night and then the three of us spent a few hours together before Wendigo went home. For us it seemed to work best for us to have a three hour long "date" while Runic Wolf is at work. The three of us have napped together and Wendigo has had the opportunity to wake up next to me at various times a day, so it has worked out. My suggestion would be to start with something small - maybe the three of you spend time together until midnight or so and then she goes back to his place for a few hours.
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