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  #1001  
Old 07-31-2012, 02:42 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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I'm doing really well right now.

I'm over on the island, visiting with Derby and ImaginaryIllusion & their kids, tonight I get to meet the fabulous Redpepper and Mono & PN... its fun knowing people's real names and then suddenly you can't remember their screen names... took 15 mins of hunting to find them LOLOLOLOL

This has been a welcome break from real life. I know that tomorrow, I go home, and that real life kicks back into gear, but this has been a lovely escape and I'm enjoying every minute.

And Derby & her family are so wonderful I'm blessed to know such great people
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  #1002  
Old 08-01-2012, 03:11 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I have two job interviews this week, so things are looking up. The crap job I took about a month ago doesn't pay enough for anything, but it got me back in work mode and revved my energy a bit. When you've been unemployed a long time, it is hard to muster up the enthusiasm for any regular gig. Hopefully, something better-paying will come out of this week's interviews.

I've also been selling my stuff - got an ad online and made a good chunk of cash already just from my exercise equipment. Today someone is coming to look at my couch and dining set. I stood in my living room this morning and felt a little heartbreak. The dining table and chairs was a wedding present, and I remembered my ex complimenting me on my taste when I brought him to see the couch at the store.

<sigh>

But I need to survive and hold onto my apartment more than I need the couch and everything else. If I sell everything I listed, I will be able to pay rent for two more months. And it will help me "simplify" my life and move forward to get rid of old things with painful memories.

Progress isn't always easy or happy. But there is progress, and that's a good thing.
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Last edited by nycindie; 08-01-2012 at 03:13 PM.
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  #1003  
Old 08-02-2012, 05:14 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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@nycindie,

You might find it very freeing to sell some of the stuff associated with your marriage. I found finding new homes for Becker's piano and birds liberating, as well as literally more space to move and breathe. I'm working on getting rid of more of that sort of things - dresser, desks, etc. I am looking forward to when they are gone!
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  #1004  
Old 08-10-2012, 03:13 PM
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Castalia Castalia is offline
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Well my new friend and I have been playing some screwed up game of tag. He works all of the time, we chatted sporadically but haven't seen each other, other than a couple of skype convos, for about six weeks regardless of a couple of attempts on my part. Whenever I decide to let it be and convince myself we're just friends, he makes a big effort to contact me and say something to the opposite.
My mind has long since runaway from me with feelings of rejection or like I am being strung along. This does not appear to be the case and I get that he is terribly busy, but I strongly dislike feeling this way. I am trying to remember that I am responsible for my feelings and reactions to others.
On top of all this, my birthday was this week and I have tons of mixed feelings on that as well. I feel as if I am holding my breath, waiting, on a few different people to do this or that so I can move on with my weekend and life. ugh, patience is not a trait of mine.
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  #1005  
Old 08-10-2012, 06:07 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is online now
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I've had a pounding sinus headache for 3 days-that's annoying. But, GG and I have been getting lots of the work on the house done while Maca is gone (working out of town). We're looking forward to seeing his surprise about how much we managed without his help.

Painting, lumber, this weekend we're tearing out the whole upstairs bathroom!

Maca started reading my blog and is beginning to catch up with who I am (again) and where I am (again). It's been an ongoing frustration of mine that I feel disconnected from him-and an ongoing frustration of his that he doesn't know whey (he's a physical touch person-I'm a quality time). He also is a "connected through sex" person and I'm a "connected through intellect" person. Makes for a somewhat difficult time when we aren't consciously trying to fulfil the other person...

BUT-we're continuing to work on it.

I had a short talk with GG. He and I usually connect very well-but he's been so busy-we literally haven't sat and talked for more than 2 minutes-since January. Usually we write back and forth-but he stopped writing in December. It got to where his few free moments he wanted to make love-and I DID NOT. Even the sex, was perfunctory which isn't how we've ever been.
All it took was a small comment on it-and he recognized the truth of it-and the unbelievably LONG amount of time its been going on. 7+ months without writing. Unbelievable-we've been writing back and forth for 19 years!!!!
He apologized and rearranged some priorities, including going and talking to his boss about some shit that is affecting his time here.
He's started writing a short note every 2nd or 3rd morning before he goes to work and leaving it on my laptop. Just that small change has made a HUGE difference (yes of course I write back) and we seem to be back on track together again too.
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  #1006  
Old 08-10-2012, 06:24 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
He's started writing a short note every 2nd or 3rd morning before he goes to work and leaving it on my laptop. Just that small change has made a HUGE difference (yes of course I write back) and we seem to be back on track together again too.
It's amazing how just that small "I'm thinking about you" note will do to repair the connection.
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  #1007  
Old 08-10-2012, 06:26 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is online now
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Man Sneac-
if more guys knew how writing out even 2-3 sentences can change the whole of the entire week..... I SWEAR!

GG does know and understand-but he gets caught periodically in forgetfulness. But, it makes a huge difference. One note and my libido returned. I didn't even want a HUG for weeks prior.
I just CAN NOT feel sexual interest in someone I don't feel emotional or intellectual connection to!
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  #1008  
Old 08-10-2012, 06:52 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Happy B'day, Castalia!

Opalescent, I have tried to turn it around in my mind and let go of the nostalgic feelings I've attached to the stuff of my marriage. Truth is, I am looking forward to starting over with a whole new decor (someday in the future when I'm flush with funds). But sadness comes up sometimes anyway. I feel it, then let it go.

How am I doing today? I am up and down.

Up: Elated that Chessy had his surgery and went home. Looking forward to seeing how this relationship goes.

Down: Sad about difficulties in another relationship.

Up: Grateful for some good friends in my life, one of whom really helped me out in a big way recently, and certain members of my family who are also looking out for me.

Down: Overwhelmed and feeling burdened when I look at my To-Do Lists.

Up: Relieved that my rent is paid for August. Hopeful about a job interview I had last week.

Down: Wishing I didn't need to sell my shit to make the rent next month. Bummed that I haven't heard back about that job yet.

Basically, how am I doing? Like the Cyclone at Coney Island:
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Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein

Last edited by nycindie; 05-01-2014 at 07:03 AM.
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  #1009  
Old 08-10-2012, 09:10 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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My iPhone was stolen. Most importantly I lost photos of my dogs, two of whom have passed away. Those photos were nowhere else and I stupidly did not back them up. Heartbroken over that.
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  #1010  
Old 08-10-2012, 10:07 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
My iPhone was stolen. Most importantly I lost photos of my dogs, two of whom have passed away. Those photos were nowhere else and I stupidly did not back them up. Heartbroken over that.
I hate that. The new iphone OS will back up to icloud (free), including pictures and will even transfer those photos to any other device you have logged in under the same appleid. Saved my butt, when my computer crashed.
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