Originally Posted by DebbieandRay
Me, my husband, my oldest boyfriend and his wife and my most recent boyfriend and his wife have attended the same church for years. My boyfriend's wives have never had a problem with their husbands and me being lovers. And my husband has never had a problem with me having other lovers. We are very open and honest with each other.
Before I learned about polyamory, I only dated one guy at a time. It was my husband who introduced me to polyamory. I liked the idea and had been in love with my best friend for many years, but because he was married, I knew he was off limits. I struggled for years being in love with a married man, but I knew he meant a lot to me and I was in-love with him.
One night when we were at my best friend and his wife's house, my husband brought up polyamory. My boyfriend's wife stated that she had heard of something like polyamory and felt that it seemed like a very loving lifestyle. My husband horrified both me and my best friend by asking my best friend's wife if she would ever be willing to share her husband with another woman. To our surprise, she said, "If that woman were someone like Debbie, who I love and trust . . . yes I would."
My boyfriend's wife added, "You two have known each other for years. I have trusted you two to be alone and often thought that there may be more to your friendship than you let on, and I have never had a problem with that." We talked more on the subject of polyamory and me and my best friend's relationship. We admitted that we both had deep feelings for each other and that we had never done anything with each other, romantically or physically.
My boyfriend's wife said that she had seen the way we looked at each other and how our hugs were more than just friendly. She also said she knew it was only a matter of time before we had a discussion like we were having, and she felt that it was about time we did. My boyfriend's wife gave us her full blessing to date and even be lovers. It didn't take long for us to be intimate, but it was a while before me and my boyfriend felt comfortable kissing each other in front of my boyfriend's wife. I have considered my boyfriend my second husband for the last seven years now.
Several months ago another married man, who attends our church, approached my husband. He mentioned to my husband that he noticed that me and my boyfriend were very close, possibly closer than just friends. When my husband asked this other man what he was implying, he stated that he and his wife were talking about opening their marriage and he was hoping that he hadn't misread our relationship.
That afternoon, me, my husband, my boyfriend and his wife, this other man and his wife went out to lunch together. We talked about this other couple's desire to open their relationship and how any of this was reflected or talked about in the Bible. We talked for some time, then both the other man and his wife stated their true reason for bringing up their desire to open their relationship. The other man told us that he had been attracted to me for some time and his wife had been attracted to my boyfriend for even longer.
Me, my husband, my boyfriend and his wife spoke in detail of what we understood polyamory to be and what it meant to us. The other couple told us that there was an initial physical attraction, but they had hoped there would be more. I ended up going out with the other man and my boyfriend went out with the other man's wife.
Since that day we have been one big extended family. We still attend the same church together. I have my husband and two boyfriends. My second boyfriend's wife has a husband and a boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend have loving legal spouses. And we have had some younger couples come to us and talk to us about how we have some way figured some things out.
My husband has recently started dating a younger woman, who also attends our church, who's husband has been talking with my husband for sometime. This younger husband's interest was in cuckolding. The younger man's wife admitted that before the two of them had married that both of them had saved themselves for marriage. Having been married for a year, both of them realized that the wife's sex drive was much higher than her husband's sex drive.
The younger husband told my husband that he was very attracted to his wife, but the sexual desire just wasn't there. We told both the younger husband and his wife that poly is more than sex. It is about romance, trust, honesty, friendship and love. My husband's relationship with this younger couple was originally along the lines of cuckolding, then it became more. My husband found that he actually had deep feelings for this younger wife.
Although my husband's relationship with this younger couple is still kind of a cuckolding relationship with the husband, the love that this younger wife and my husband feel for each other is evident. When we attend church together, we all sit on the same pew. Facing us, from the right to left, you see my oldest boyfriend's wife, my husband's girlfriend, my husband, My oldest boyfriend's new girlfriend, my oldest boyfriend, me, my newest boyfriend and my husband's girlfriend's husband.
Just last Sunday our pastor approached all of us and told us that we were living examples of what Christ taught. When we asked what he meant, our pastor told us that we seemed to be the go to people for the younger and even some older congregants. He said that we don't see color or age or gender or culture, but instead express love in how we live. He even said that it was evident that we put Christ first in all that we did. And we all agreed.
We are still not sure what our pastor meant when he said, "It's obvious that you all have a special love and bond with each other. You have something other people may not understand or accept, but God's love is evident in each of you." We liked what our pastor had to say, but we are not sure what he really knows about us.
To us Poly is about loving. And that is what Christianity is supposed to be about as well. Why anyone would see the two not being connected is a mystery to us.