Relationship structures, triads, unicorns and all that

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore

This seemed like the most appropriate place for this...

Has this graphic been posted before? So on point!! Well, I think so, anyway. Do you agree/disagree? Did you lol?

http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos..._4059996_n.jpg

yes, we've seen it before. Can't remember where though. I posted somewhere. Its in my albums.

[nycindie]

A little off-topic and not sure if these will show up here, but you just reminded me:





Someone posted these on their OKC Journal.

[TaureanBullPS]

Originally Posted by NightDragon

First let me say "Thank you"!!

Next I will say, our relationship is not even a triad relationship. It is a V and I feel that a lot of the aspects you're saying apply for us. Or more specificly me.

I am having a huge issue with Dragonfly falling "IN" love with DragonBorn in less then 2 months since the start of this relationship. There are several reasons for that which I'm not sure would be ok to share or even if I'm comfortable with sharing them yet to all. It has brought out trust issues that I'm having. Fear for loosing the woman I have come to love above all else. And more. Just a lot of negative feelings and emotions.

Thanks to several of you here that have said to not just myself but to a lot of others, that it is ok to feel and have these emotions. I have slowly started to accept that instead of beating the shit out of myself for having these feelings. Thinking I was wrong to feel this way.

Now the problem I am having is trying to find a way for this to work, that doesn't manipulate how they feel about each other. I will be honest, if I had a magic wand... I would not want DF to be "IN" love with DB. But I know that she does. So because she does I don't want to change that. Now also let me say that surprisingly, I don't have any issues with DB being "IN" love with DF. I am also having amazingly HUGE issues with their alone time. And OMG I thank them so much for understanding and saying that they are ok with only spending time together when it's all of us. I feel bad, because I know that they want their alone time just the two of them. But for right now, I am not handling well at all. I get to caught up in my head, wondering what they're doing, what's being said, etc... I'm get afraid wondering when I come home is all my stuff going to be outside with a note saying I'm not wanted anymore. Yeah, crazy I know. But from what I'm learning fear is rarely based off reality.

I just wanted to add this, and I'm sure I will add more later, but I'm kinda on a deadline, and have the "Dragon" family as we've been called are getting to meet HMA and Vi for a late dinner. Hopefully both families can become close and be there for each other with helping hands in times like these. :-)

This mirrors to a T what I feel right now.
I am told that I am the only one who would break up my relationship with person A of A and B. But after a recent event and some conversations, I have gone back to feeling like person C verses person B on the side.
That being my big issue, is that I feel I am ALWAYS going to be that person on the side. I dont know how to talk with Person A regarding what I need him and He along with person B to do, in order to make things work for all.

I dont want person A and B to break up, I just dont want to feel like a Third wheel or " The other Boyfriend "

I love both of them, but am only in intimate interactions with person A. Person B is like a carbon copy of me in so many ways.

I need a friend right now, who understands and has gotten through this part of this type relationship..... OR help sorting out if I can even do this ?

Feeling Confused now.

[AnnabelMore]

Quoting myself from another thread... a little obnoxious, but I wanted to explore this further and was getting way off topic:

"I truly believe that humans just act differently in dyad situations, in ways that are both revealing and bonding."

My point with this statement was, at heart, to reinforce the old idea that a triad is not one relationship of three people but rather four relationships -- A&B, B&C, A&C and A&B&C. To focus on only the last one of the four is, to my mind, to misunderstand how human relationships work.

Thoughts?

Editing in a caveat: I absolutely do not mean to imply that real and significant intimacy and bonding can't occur when all three people in a given three-person relationship are present, both on the dyad level and the triad level. I've very much seen that that isn't true. Rather, I think it's important to recognize that the dyad pairs within the triad do exist, and to give them their own space to flourish from time to time.