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Old 05-24-2011, 03:58 PM
Tia27 Tia27 is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Eastern Tenn
Posts: 12
Default my mono husbands concerns.

He made some good points that anytime more people are involved the greater chance there will be trouble. For example if the person isnít emotionally stable and takes brake ups badly. When love is involved people get hurt more times then not. And unlike mono dating with poly people there are also even more people involved. Spouses and lovers that may be envious or jealous. The risks involved in the search for another is high and with young children involved, is the risks worth the reward? No. Then he says plus how would we ever find someone that fits? The chances of metting someone who want what we want, is slim. SO I will keep my heart open and I hope he will to but Im not seeing any changes to our lives anytime soon. And Im ok with that. But I do want to make more friends, and find a female friend that will connect with me as much as I do with her. A BFF something I havenít had in over 10 years.
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Old 05-24-2011, 04:34 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603

I'd tell him pretty much what you've just said here. You're not actively "looking" for another lover but want to be open to it when (if) the right person comes along.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
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Old 05-24-2011, 05:36 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

I find it interesting that he's commenting on things which he's never experienced. Theoretical concerns are something that one can address by actually speaking with people who have practical experience. Has he done any of that?
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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Old 05-24-2011, 09:02 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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I have a mentally and emotionally healthy child. I have several committed partners. I have experienced it being worth it.

If one immerses themselves with people who are like minded and decides to just let go of controlling destiny while being aware of doors opening, anything is possible in my experience. That is an individual choice however, not so much a couple choice, although it can happen.
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