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  #11  
Old 10-23-2009, 11:15 AM
dearprudence dearprudence is offline
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This post really got me this morning, as I am in the same boat regarding my emotions being so up and down right now after a period of feeling pretty good about things. It's gut wrenching to see my inconsistencies and to try so desperately to talk myself through them. Big hugs to you, Violet, and thank you for posting this. I have no advice, except keep talking, but like you, those conversations right now are really stressed and difficult. I don't know where this new vulnerability and sadness is coming from. I am trying to dig deeply to figure it out. I know how you are feeling, and you won't feel this way forever.
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  #12  
Old 10-23-2009, 12:28 PM
Io55 Io55 is offline
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dear violet..
i dont really have advice either, i just wanted you to know how completely i empathize with your situation. it really fucking SUCKS to be caught up in this kind of emotional spiral (esecially when you dont even know WHY you feel the way you do!!), which makes it so hard to think and actually find solutions!!! i feel like im in a similar sort of foggy headspace lately, where all im doing is emotionaly REACTING to thats happening in my life instead of ACTING to make things better. the past week has been better, because ive been consciously taking some time out for my SELF, doing sort of brainless but relaxing activities with/for myself like little solo spa nights, taking time to walk the dog a good hour longer than usual, buying myself little gifts, taking time to read and write about the things im feeling...its hard to take that time to recenter yourself when all you really want is immediate resolution, but hopefully it leads to an eventual resolution thats more considered and ultimately better for all. im sorry your hurting.
HUGS
Io
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  #13  
Old 10-23-2009, 08:31 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Oh I'm so sorry your heart hurts violet. I know that feeling all to well. Its hard to move, think... even swallow in that kind of pain. I'm so sorry you are going through that.

When I have felt like that in the past I have come to know that it has meant something is really wrong and that I am off my life path somehow. Almost like its a message from the universe (insert religious belief here).

I agree with the others on here that picking it apart over time and with space away from everyone and talking it out is really all you can do. It sounds like you have started that already in terms of talking it out with HMA and PMing others.
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  #14  
Old 10-23-2009, 08:39 PM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
When I have felt like that in the past I have come to know that it has meant something is really wrong and that I am off my life path somehow. Almost like its a message from the universe (insert religious belief here).
Oh my GOD this is so very true. And a huge force that has moved me forward in life quite a few times.

It's like the law of hurricanes. Hurricanes form as a result of massive imbalances in the atmosphere. And a hurricane will continue until that imbalance is corrected. It is the only way such huge imbalances can be corrected. Painful and tumultuous, but necessary to fix the big things.
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  #15  
Old 10-23-2009, 10:29 PM
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One more thing violet. Please stay true to you gut and what is right for you. You made some huge statements in your first post and if you are indeed feeling those ways then please don't compromise for other peoples comfort and happiness, because in the end it will only bring more grief for everyone concerned.
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  #16  
Old 10-23-2009, 11:52 PM
HappiestManAlive HappiestManAlive is offline
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If nobody ever compromises for teh happiness of others, a traditional relationship is extremely difficult and a poly one impossible. I think I know what you're getting at there, but the wording couldn't possibly be right.
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  #17  
Old 10-24-2009, 12:00 AM
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Yes I would have to agree, "compromise" is perhaps not the right word. I will stick with staying true to your comfort and your heart.
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Last edited by redpepper; 10-24-2009 at 12:42 AM.
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  #18  
Old 10-24-2009, 12:11 AM
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Sunshinegrl Sunshinegrl is offline
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I think RP means not to sacrifice your own happiness to make others happy. Stay true to yourself and happiness will come.
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  #19  
Old 10-24-2009, 12:15 AM
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That's what I mean thank you SG!
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  #20  
Old 10-24-2009, 12:46 AM
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I feel your pain more then you can imagine V.

I have to agree to try your best to be true to yourself. I know its hard when You love someone to truly make sure that you are still being healthy to yourself. Just remember that if you cant be whole and happy then the loved ones around you will suffer also. Its a catch 22.

Im not the most verbally eloquint(spelling) person around but I know what your feeling and Im here if you need.


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