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  #21  
Old 12-18-2009, 02:05 AM
Lostkeysintro Lostkeysintro is offline
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I dunno about this situation. He sounds selfish and what he is doing just sounds like cheating. Why is everything on this third wheels terms? Why does he think he has the right to be jealous when he is screwing someone else? It sounds like your monogamist and he is being able to do what he wants. I would never let my man be with someone else if I wasn't able to as well. It's to double standardish. But I am new to all of this. But honestly that would kill me.
Your kind of getting walked all over honestly.
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  #22  
Old 12-18-2009, 03:16 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maca View Post
OK>>>>>>> HELLA RED FLAGS>>>>>

IMO you should not marry this guy.... It seems to me that the lines of communication are not complete..
Every thing Maca said...this does not sound healthy, fair or sustainable.
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  #23  
Old 12-18-2009, 03:27 AM
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crisare crisare is offline
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The OP hasn't logged on to this site since Oct 26th. I suspect she's not reading any more since she got advice that she didn't want to follow.
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  #24  
Old 12-18-2009, 03:29 AM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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allo.

Everyone has given good responses. I read thru the posts and had the same gut reaction. The only thing I have to add is this:

If you decide to leave, understand that in reality things will probably not be as hard as they are right now. I was in a relationship for 8 years that was abusive. In my gut I knew it, but I said the same things you say in your posts, e.g. "day to day things are "fine", he treats me well, generally", etc. and in the following sentence of yours, the subtle "basically" leads me to believe that your needs are not actually being met. Think about that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylee View Post
1) The important thing to me, in any relationship, is that my needs are being met. Even if the "rules" are uneven, my major needs have been met in the relationship, basically.
It seems like you know this in your gut...

Once you are out of an abusive relationship the skies clear up, everything is easier, not harder!

I look at my current relationship and become freaked out because of how smoothly it runs - it was only a little over a year ago when I felt that something like this was only fiction.

Listen to yourself - you know better than anyone what it is you NEED, once you identify that, fight for it.
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  #25  
Old 12-18-2009, 03:30 AM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crisare View Post
The OP hasn't logged on to this site since Oct 26th. I suspect she's not reading any more since she got advice that she didn't want to follow.
just noticed that. too bad.
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  #26  
Old 12-18-2009, 03:36 AM
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so did I. Hope she is well.
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