How long? (Before it's okay to say "I love you?")

With Hubby, he said "I love you" first. It was his birthday gift to me on the first birthday I had after he and I started seeing each other.

With Guy, I said it first, both to let him know that I had feelings for him, and to let him know that Hubby had given his agreement to me having those feelings--and having a full-fledged relationship with Guy.

With S2, I said it first after waiting for him to say it first because I knew he wasn't quite sure where he was emotionally or what he was ready for relationship-wise. I knew I *felt* it and was reasonably sure he did, but I didn't want to be the first one to *say* it. I stopped waiting the day he told me he was afraid he'd contracted an STI from a woman he'd hooked up with a week or so earlier. (He hadn't; it was a guilt reaction because he felt like he'd cheated on me by seeing her, and because he knew he'd been an idiot by having unprotected sex with her.) He was so afraid I was going to break up with him that he was practically in tears when he told me; he said he couldn't deal with the thought of losing me because I meant so much to him already, after only a few months. So I told him I couldn't turn my back on him despite the circumstances because I loved him.

I haven't said it to anyone else other than my kids' father, and I'm not going to count him. Plus that was so long ago and I've managed to block out so much of that relationship that I can't even remember who said it first.
 
I say it when i feel it. I don't care how early it is, I know pretty early on and i've said it as early as a couple weeks before (and they ended up being very long term)
 
Re (from River):
"We've only known one another for six weeks. Does this seem way too soon -- to your ears -- to say, 'I love you?'"

Depends on how you feel, bro.

Re:
"What is, and what is not, implicit in these magical words -- as you see and hear it?"

That's in the ears of the hearer.
 
Boyfriend told me 'I love you' after two weeks. I told him back right away. In fact, what he said was, 'I love you, how can I marry you?' And he told my husband that he wanted to marry me, haha. I thought he was crazy.

Husband was even faster, he told me after two days. We were friends before we started dating, but still. I said it back a year later, when I was less paranoid about us breaking up. I used to practice when I thought he was asleep, he thought that was so cute that I was afraid to say it to his face.

My boys are dramatic as hell and that is why I love them. I could never be with someone luke warm, then I would rather just have a bed fellow that would not sleep over. Either you are in, or you't out.
 
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I guess it depends for me! My partner and I were very close friends when we got together, we already regularly told each other that we loved the other, and that the love was unconditional. So there was no 'who's gonna say I love you first and when' for us. I say to say it when you feel like you're ready. :) You may not be ready to say it even when you first feel it but that's okay! And it's okay if the other person isn't ready to say it back; I feel it is important to not expect that if you are going to say it.

If saying it is going to 'scare' the other person away, they are probably not right for you!
 
If saying it is going to 'scare' the other person away, they are probably not right for you!

I've been learning a lot about how very different these simple three words -- "I love you" -- are heard by differing sets of ears. And about how very diverse the intended message is when these words are spoken.

I'm continuously amazed by how unique and different people are -- and I've been quite aware of it for a very long time. It still amazes and surprises me, though.

I tell all of my best (platonic) friends that I love them. Obviously, those words carry a different meaning in a platonic friendship. But there is no vast chasm between platonic and romantic love for me in some of my closest platonic friendships. One of my platonic friends recently sent me a brief phone text message saying "Last night I dreamed that you and I were passionately in love with the same pine tree". (She's one of my few face-to-face polyamorous friends, so the meaning of that dream tree probably relates to our both being poly.) I was as deeply touched by that communication as I would have been had it been from a romantic partner. Her name is Sarah. We always tell one another that we love one another. Neither of us doubts it in the slightest. Our hearts glow together.

My friend whom I was speaking of -- the young man I fell in love with -- ... I worry that he doesn't really understand what I mean by "I love you". I think he may take it as "I want something from you" instead of "I so delight in sharing and being close with you" ... "You make my heart glow and smile". He and I have to find a way to continue with our platonic friendship after having shared naked cuddles and wet kisses. So it's all a little tricky, and we both have much to learn about such a journey. But it's important to me that he understand that I love him. Maybe for a while I'll not say the words, but will just go on demonstrating my love in actions.
 
Sam said it to me first but he used code word because I think he was worried he'd get rejected. We lay in bed one night a few weeks into dating and he said "I soka you" lol
 
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