On the lighterside...The 'Things I never thought I would say...'

Jewell: We need new toothbrushes. Please pick up a pack when you go to town.
Me: I will get a three pack. So I have one here and one at my boyfriends.
Jewell: Great idea. I get the girly color. :rolleyes:
 
Me, my girlfriend and my husband watched Pulp Fiction together a while ago. The scene where Samuel L. Jackson's character says something along the lines of "my girlfriend is a vegetarian which pretty much makes me a vegetarian" made us laugh because my gf is a vegetarian. Later, my husband and I were talking about the fact that we've been eating more vegetarian foods lately (even when it's just the two of us at home), because I've learned some cooking from my gf. I commented that it's funny that me having a vegetarian girlfriend makes not only me but my husband a vegetarian, too. :D
 
I was in the ER a few days ago due to, ahem, problems with my male parts (no infection or torsion, thankfully). So BrigidsDaughter and I are sitting in the exam room and have the following conversation:

Me: You know, with what's going on tonight, we probably should call Wendigo.

Her: ...why?

Me (with a grin): Stunt cock!

Needless to say it caused a round of laughter from both of us, laughter that she needed more then I did.
 
Nothing I said but...my boyfriend gave me a cold last week, and my husband started feeling sick too a couple of hours ago, and he had to tell a woman he was on a date with tonight that he wanted to kiss her more but wouldn't because his wife's boyfriend made him sick :(

Bright side was he kissed her hello before the movie when he didn't feel sick, down side will be if that was enough to get her sick..then her husband...and her boyfriend....etc etc.
 
I was in the ER a few days ago due to, ahem, problems with my male parts (no infection or torsion, thankfully). So BrigidsDaughter and I are sitting in the exam room and have the following conversation:

Me: You know, with what's going on tonight, we probably should call Wendigo.

Her: ...why?

Me (with a grin): Stunt cock!

Needless to say it caused a round of laughter from both of us, laughter that she needed more then I did.

I wish we had a like button!
 
Me: Hey Jewell since your going over to BF's house see if he found my necklace. I think it got eaten by the bed.
Jewell: Sure thing.
Then I see the two of them looking around his bed for my necklace. :p
 
Commenting that I finally have a "wingman" and it's my wife.

I have a feeling that this will be case with my husband and I, once we figure things out between us.
 
Oh my goodness! I am cracking up reading through these posts!! We've only been poly for a week, but since I gave hubby permission to see this girl from work, we've had some interesting ones already.

While responding to a Craigslist post by us looking for a couple to have a meet up with, "Well, when we meet up will depend on how we can work the schedule of hubby and I'd date night with he and his girlfriend's date night next week."

Hubby and the girl went out on a date last night, I walked him out to the car, gave him a kiss, and said, "Have fun!" Yes, I did help him get ready for the date and make sure that he looked spectacular.

Hubby: "Do you want to see the pictures that I have of her?"
Me: "Ummmm, I don't think that's a good idea without her permission. I don't want to invade her privacy."
Hubby: "Yeah, you got a good point there."

Today while talking to hubby about this guy that wants to meet up with us to either watch hubby and I or have hubby watch he and I or just make it a MFM threesome (two straight guys, they would just be touching me).
Hubby: "You think he's hot don't you? You want to totally do him."
Me: "He's definitely good looking and well built."
Hubby: "If you have sex with another guy, do you think you would find me to be boring after all?"
Me: "Nah I'm not worried about that one bit. I'd just let him teach me some new things that we haven't tried yet that I might end up liking."
Hubby: "Ooooh, that would be great!"
 
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Both me and Mya read the Ethical Slut recently. There was this exercise to do with a partner, where you together come up with all the sexual things you can think of that people can do together, and then individually put them into YES, NO, and MAYBE columns. We changed it slightly so that we would rather rate them from -5 to 5. (By the way, I totally recommend some version of that exercise to everybody!)

Anyway, me and Mya did it first, and it was great, both of us learned a lot about the other and also came to some realisations about ourselves. After that both of us did the same exercise with our husbands, and we told about it to each other (not in detail but mentioned), because it was such a good experience. But, you know, it does feel weird telling your girlfriend "I made a sex list with my husband today and it was great!". ;) :D
 
Apparently I'm the one bumping this thread. Poly makes for interesting conversations, if only I could remember all the occasions I've found amusing. Usually it's for thinking "what if an average monogamous person was listening"; it would probably be very strange.

Recently, I told Mya that I would like to have sex with a friend of mine, who she also knows. She had some negative feelings about that, which she expressed to me, but then added something to the effect of: "..but I really don't want you to take my feelings into account in any decisions you make about whether or not you will have sex with her, because I do not want that to be a contributing factor."

It makes perfect sense to me to think that, but for a person who sees non-monogamy as threatening, the request would be the excact opposite; that their immediate feelings would be the top/only priority to consider. Also, for such person, the underlying assumption about non-monogamy is the opposite: that unless asked I will not honour my partner's feelings. Instead, here the expectation was that I would put her feelings first, and she had to specifically ask me not to. I don't know if I explain this in a way that makes sense? Anyway, I found that somehow ironic in relation to the commonly held conceptions about the selfish non-monogamous people.
 
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One of our oddest comments dealt with my vehicle being broke down, Told the wife " You know how embarrassing it is as a teenager to have your parents drop you off for your date?, well Imagine explaining to a new date, Will it be ok if My Wife drops me off for our date?" Wife still gives me grief about that!
 
Spoken by me at 3am, leaving a club, to some friends who were complaining about difficult relationship moments.

Context: This was back in the spring. Gia had recently said to me "Don't treat me like I'm made of glass!" We held a party where there was, among other things, naked jello wrestling (long story). She invited me to wrestle her and I felt like I had to, to prove that I wasn't treating her like she was made of glass (cuz you don't wrestle things made of glass, right?).

"You think that's bad? I had to naked jello wrestle my pregnant girlfriend and I'm like... 'Will it hurt the baby???'"

For the record, I kicked her ass. :D
 
There are so many of this comments every day that seem to be unusual for any relationship I got before. One situation that made me laugh happened yesterday evening.

We had an invitation on Monday evening to visit an old friend of Sward who wanted to get to know Lin. Everything got hectic somehow and I forgot the pill. When I realized it the next morning it was more than two hours overtime already. So Sward got ready to buy some condoms yesterday evening.

Put his jacket on. See-saw. Searching for his purse. See-saw. Exchanging looks with me and Lin (we were sitting at our pc's next to each other). See-saw. Searching for his shoes. See-saw. Finally standing next to me giving me a look like a lost puppy. I suppressed a laugh and went to the bathroom. When I came back he was gone and Lin asked me what this was all about.

"He was uncomfortable asking you about the size you need." - "Why, the size ....(pause of realization and laughing) oh you are right. It's strange to discuss your condom size with the husband of your girlfriend for sure, isn't it?"

He had been too absorbed in the game he was playing to take note of the content of their conversation :D
 
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Spoken by me at 3am, leaving a club, to some friends who were complaining about difficult relationship moments.
...
"You think that's bad? I had to naked jello wrestle my pregnant girlfriend and I'm like... 'Will it hurt the baby???'"

Oh, your life is truly tragic. :D
 
Yesterday something pissed me off and I was on the phone with John, and I snapped at F about it.
John's immediate response "there is no reason for you to be mad at him, its not his fault"

Luckily, my new therapist is not at all disturbed by the husband and boyfriend thing
 
I was at the supermarket today with my girlfriend rory and her husband Alec. Alec happened to be paying that time and me and rory went packing. I said: "Look at us, being all traditional. The man paying and the women packing." Rory responded: "Yeah, really traditional indeed. It usually is the man paying and his wife and her girlfriend packing." :D :D
 
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