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  #1  
Old 07-05-2020, 09:52 AM
Bluebaron Bluebaron is offline
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Default Practical Poly, bed sizes

Anyone have any recommendations for extra large beds? Im in the uk and a Kingsize is 6' x 6'6". With three in the bed its a bit of a squeeze.

Would you recommend using two smaller doubles or a single and a double and pushing them together or going for an huge Emperor/Caesar bed which is Likely to cost around $7-10,000!!

The cost of the extra large beds would also have to include the replacement of all my Linen etc

Thanks
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Old 07-05-2020, 09:37 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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I would recommend an asymmetrical combination or the person in the middle (if you are 3) will keep falling into the crevasse where the two beds meet (I speak from experience!). This also allows one person to have a harder or softer mattress if the other two prefer something different. Or can form a natural divider if one person is less of a sleep-cuddler than the others. Keeping to more common sizes will keep linen costs down (the bigger linens tend to cost more) and if you can use a bed you already have linens for, even better.

Using two smaller beds also gives you more flexibility if it turns out that 3-in-a-bed isn’t for your combo on a nightly basis (MrS snores so Dude prefers the couch, where he can prop himself up to keep his heartburn at bay). AND, much easier to move if you change domiciles.

Jane(who-likes-the-middle)Q
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Old 07-05-2020, 10:16 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Hi BB,

I'm with JaneQ on this one; you should push a single and a double together, using the bed and linens you already have if possible. An Emperor/Caesar bed would certainly be handy, but it would cost too much!

My 2,
Kevin T.
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Old 07-06-2020, 01:00 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluebaron View Post
Anyone have any recommendations for extra large beds? Im in the uk and a Kingsize is 6' x 6'6". With three in the bed its a bit of a squeeze.

Would you recommend using two smaller doubles or a single and a double and pushing them together or going for an huge Emperor/Caesar bed which is Likely to cost around $7-10,000!!

The cost of the extra large beds would also have to include the replacement of all my Linen etc

Thanks
Do you and Honey live with Alice? Are you sexual with Alice? Why do you need such a big bed? Most poly relationships are not triads. Most triads (if they succeed long enough to live together successfully) or Vs, get separate sleeping places for each adult, and set up a sleeping together schedule.
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Old 07-08-2020, 02:09 PM
Bluebaron Bluebaron is offline
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Thanks for the advice everyone we'll see how we get on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Do you and Honey live with Alice? Are you sexual with Alice? Why do you need such a big bed? Most poly relationships are not triads. Most triads (if they succeed long enough to live together successfully) or Vs, get separate sleeping places for each adult, and set up a sleeping together schedule.
Hi Magdlyn,

Over the last few months Alice is spending more and more time with us. Just seemed like a natural progression for her to move in although she still has a room at her parents should she need space.
We don't have a spare room and even if we did she didn't like the idea of sleeping next door to Honey and I and if I'm honest, I probably feel the same.

I guess we also have the advantage that I travel for work (hopping to get back next month).

BB
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Old 07-08-2020, 03:27 PM
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Quote:
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Do you and Honey live with Alice? Are you sexual with Alice?
This is the one where Alice is the lesbian gf who has sex with the husband because the gf/wife wants that.
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Old 07-08-2020, 04:43 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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This is the one where Alice is the lesbian gf who has sex with the husband because the gf/wife wants that.
Ah, thanks, ref.

It seems to me that a queen or double bed with a single pushed up against it would work, or even just a king. Personally I dislike sharing a bed with 2 adult people on a regular basis. I did it once for a long weekend with my 2 partners at a kink con hotel stay. I was the hinge. We shared a king, and it felt roomy enough. But I was in the middle, so if I needed to get out of bed in the night to pee, I had to awkwardly climb down the middle of the bed to get out.

It's best to have separate sets of sheets and blankets or duvets, so you don't uncover anyone when getting out, or fight for the covers all night.

I could see getting too hot, or feeling cramped, especially if one was sick, or injured, had a bad back, etc. And what if someone worked late and came in, disturbing the other 2? I could see someone giving up on 3 in a bed, getting fed up and going off to the couch.

When I had 2 partners and both were spending the night, I was really glad I had a guest room. I'd spend the night with whoever cared more. My bf then slept like a rock, and went to bed earlier than my gf. So, I'd get in bed with him to tuck him in and have a short good night type conversation, or for sex. Then if I wasn't sleepy, I'd get back up and spend time with the gf, and then sleep with her.

Maybe that was TMI for the OP, but it's always interesting how different people share sleep, or not.
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Pixi (poly, F, 43) my partner since January 2009, cohabiting
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  #8  
Old 07-09-2020, 03:27 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
It's best to have separate sets of sheets and blankets or duvets, so you don't uncover anyone when getting out, or fight for the covers all night.
We have a king size bed but have separate covers even when there is only 2 people (and a 90# Mastiff - and a few smaller ones if we are dog-sitting) in the bed. I am a notorious bed/covers/pillows hog - although my new weighted blankets have really helped. We also have a number of types of gel pillows which really helps with the heat (we have a latex foam bed so heat can be an issue).

We all have different schedules so people are coming and going at all hours - luckily we are all REALLY good sleepers! The other factor is sex - it seems that for a lot of people bedtime=sextime. For us the big bed is definitely used more for sleeping than sex and sleepers have first dibs - we have other places that sex can happen any time (day or night - no kids or other housemates).
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JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-always-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (27+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (9+ yrs)
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.


My poly blogs here:
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The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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  #9  
Old 07-09-2020, 04:35 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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I had a long period of co-sleeping when my kids were little. My ex husband and I had 3 kids in 5 years, and they were all very light sleepers, who needed to be near us. So, there were years when 2, or even 3 kids were in bed with us.

My ex just built us a nice simple platform bed and we threw a double and single futon on top. (That was fine for when we were young, without bad backs or arthritis.) The platform kept the mattresses together. I shared the single with the baby, and then it went kid/kid/dad on the other mattress. When the baby was small, for safety, I wedged towels in between the mattress and the wall so there was no crack him to fall into.

Basically, I had my fill of more than two in a bed after that experience! lol
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

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Pixi (poly, F, 43) my partner since January 2009, cohabiting
"Maestro" (mono, M, 39), Pixi's bf since April 2013, co-primary
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  #10  
Old 08-07-2020, 04:23 PM
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AndrewS29 AndrewS29 is offline
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I do consider that as bigger the bed, the best it is
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