Emotionally bleeding

confusedtink

New member
It's an apt way to describe how I'm feeling. I was stupid and got myself interested and excited in someone who seemed to like me too. Now that's gone. I'm angry with myself because I let myself get there. It's now bleeding into mine and hubby's relationship. Which in return is affecting his and his girlfriends.

I actually yelled at him and told him it wasn't about him and her at all. Because it's not, though he keeps thinking it is. It's about me. So not only am I dealing with being angry at myself, I'm worrying if my issues are going to change his plans and I feel like I'm ruining everything I touch. I don't even know if that makes sense.

Tink
 
Not sure I'd call it that at least not for me. Could be the side effect to them that I'd call that. Which isn't fair or right and I don't want to be doing that.
 
Hi Tink,

I am wondering if your husband is a little oversensitive, he seems poised to change his plans at the least drop of a pin on your end. That must be frustrating. Plus it means you can't talk to your husband about it, not without risking him taking it the wrong way.

With sympathy,
Kevin T.
 
I don't think you should be angry at yourself for having an attraction/interest in someone. That's part of life. It didn't work out and it hurts but that's ok. We've all been through that, but anger at yourself won't help you heal. Think about the positives of the experience and if you learned anything about yourself, or what you might consider before you move on to someone else.

*hugs*

and if anything, Just grieve and hit pillows and know it's ok to be hurt.
 
I do have to be fair to my husband. The problem has been that I've been like this for almost a week. This happens right before the lady thing. I lose a grip on my emotional center and everything was happening all at once and I was not handling all the emotions well. However I think I have a grip now.

Thank you. Yes I shouldn't be angry with myself, but I was because I should've known better, but now I think I'm ok. I did quite a bit of crying and I feel better. Now I need to figure out how to work through that so it doesn't happen again with some other emotional outburst.

Thanks for reading this and talking.

Tink
 
I do have to be fair to my husband. The problem has been that I've been like this for almost a week. This happens right before the lady thing. I lose a grip on my emotional center and everything was happening all at once and I was not handling all the emotions well. However I think I have a grip now.

Thank you. Yes I shouldn't be angry with myself, but I was because I should've known better, but now I think I'm ok. I did quite a bit of crying and I feel better. Now I need to figure out how to work through that so it doesn't happen again with some other emotional outburst.

Thanks for reading this and talking.

Tink

I think it is quite normal to get angry with ourselves at times - but I believe the key is forgiveness, sooner rather than later, and using the opportunity to learn (easier said than done, I know).

I too have had some pretty cathartic emotional "outbursts", and, like you, they always seem to crop up when I'm already feeling vulnerable (being sick, stresses from work, family strains, money problems - sometimes all at once). That's the toughest time to be nicest to yourself, yet it's when you need it the most, so it's natural to seek out that safe place in the form of your partner.

I like to make sure to re-establish what I expect from my partner, and what she can expect from me, when I'm not in that headspace. So far, this has given her permission to not try to "save" me from my own emotions by amending her life, but rather offering support and reassurance.

Great to hear you're feeling better!
 
I'm glad you're feeling better as well! Emotions are ok! It's ok to feel them! Just make sure you do so in a healthy way!
 
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