So, how's everything going, Freetime?
I just spent an hour typing out a message only to have it vanish when I hit submit.
I'll try again later when I get back, from my meeting.
I'm surviving. Not much more right now. I'll take what I can get.
So, how's everything going, Freetime?
Make sure you click the "remember me" box when you sign in. I find that helps on VBull boards.
I have to wonder if I'm Insane. Uncertainty fear anger remorse love lust acceptance openess.... repeat as needed.
I'm learning what TMI really means and why somethings are best left unspoken if not unknown. My wife is more in love with this guy then I ever remember her being with me. Age and experience has made her more open and communicative about her feelings, good for him. Not so much for me.
I find fear to be my friend right now as it keeps me focused on:
1) Getting healthy, back in shape
2) Finding a job/ career. great for build self esteem.
3) Building my own life and getting out of Ts. Her life is her business now, I need to remember that.
I felt like the ugly kid at a beauty pagent when M2 and his wife T2 came over.
M2 is fit, good looking and smart. T2 is a babe and of course T is the proverbial Hotwife made real. Me? well I do have a cute little budda belly starting.
Yes, you will. And you will thrive because you love each other. This is just a new shape for the container in which you two have planted the seeds of your relationship. Marriage and relationships always change and evolve.I've also come to see that as nice as M2 and T2 are, I don't need any new friends right now. Waaaaay to many relationships going on for me to sort out. As long as M2 treats tag with love and kindness and respects my relationship I'm good to go. I think we tried the "Lets all be friends" approach far to soon. ... Ah fuck it. I'll live.
You forgot: you're also brave, loving, compassionate, and pretty awesome!I'm scared, tired and my soul hurts...
I just do not have it in me to ask T to stop. Running away or pretending it isn't happening solves nothing. I love my wife. I fucking hate my life. Maybe one day I'll have both? Nah, that only happens in fairy tales.
Memory is a funny thing. The past tends to get distorted through the lens of the present. As real as the image can seem, it cannot always be trusted.I'm learning what TMI really means and why somethings are best left unspoken if not unknown. My wife is more in love with this guy then I ever remember her being with me. Age and experience has made her more open and communicative about her feelings, good for him. Not so much for me.
Speaking of Budda...he was pretty clever dude. The rest of this post will be brought to you by the power of Budda! (As presented by a half-assed google search since I don't like typing verbatum from books when I can cut & paste from the web)Me? well I do have a cute little budda belly starting.
Budda said:~ Inflamed by greed, incensed by hate, confused by delusion, overcome by them, obsessed by mind, a man chooses for his own affliction, for others' affliction, for the affliction of both and experiences pain and grief. ~ Budda
I find fear to be my friend right now as it keeps me focused on:
1) Getting healthy, back in shape
2) Finding a job/ career. great for build self esteem.
3) Building my own life and getting out of Ts. Her life is her business now, I need to remember that.
I felt like the ugly kid at a beauty pagent when M2 and his wife T2 came over.
M2 is fit, good looking and smart. T2 is a babe and of course T is the proverbial Hotwife made real.
Budda said:"Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without."
I've gone from yodda level lightness and love over to Vader level self loathing and fear.
T has offered once again to stop seeing M2, but that's delaying the inevitable, so I have to find my balance soon, like yesterday soon. When t and I connect soul to soul I simmer down amd start to mellow out. Right up to the next text message from M2.
Budda said:Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.
I've also come to see that as nice as M2 and T2 are, I don't need any new friends right now. Waaaaay to many relationships going on for me to sort out. As long as M2 treats tag with love and kindness and respects my relationship I'm good to go. I think we tried the "Lets all be friends" approach far to soon. I need time to adjust to T having a BF, anything else is just noise right now. M2 is coming over to play with T tomorrow and I'm going to drink, fight and get arrested. Ok no I'm not, but I do find the idea oddly attractive right now. Ah fuck it. I'll live.
Budda said:~ You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. ~ Budda
I have to wonder if I'm Insane. Uncertainty fear anger remorse love lust acceptance openess.... repeat as needed.
Budda said:~ It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell. ~ Budda
I'm scared, tired and my soul hurts, and yet I just do not have it in me to ask T to stop. Running away or pretending it isn't happening solves nothing. I love my wife. I fucking hate my life. Maybe one day I'll have both? Nah, that only happens in fairy tales.
Budda said:~ The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly ~ Budda
Google doesn't have Budda saying anything about NRE. But I know there's some days that my wife would probably want to steal yours.P.S. NRE is an evil perpetrated on the unwary by the uncaring.
I have to wonder if I'm Insane. Uncertainty fear anger remorse love lust acceptance openess.... repeat as needed.
I'm learning what TMI really means and why somethings are best left unspoken if not unknown. My wife is more in love with this guy then I ever remember her being with me. Age and experience has made her more open and communicative about her feelings, good for him. Not so much for me.
I felt like the ugly kid at a beauty pagent when M2 and his wife T2 came over.
M2 is fit, good looking and smart. T2 is a babe and of course T is the proverbial Hotwife made real. Me? well I do have a cute little budda belly starting.
T has offered once again to stop seeing M2, but that's delaying the inevitable, so I have to find my balance soon, like yesterday soon. When t and I connect soul to soul I simmer down amd start to mellow out. Right up to the next text message from M2.
I've also come to see that as nice as M2 and T2 are, I don't need any new friends right now. Waaaaay to many relationships going on for me to sort out. As long as M2 treats tag with love and kindness and respects my relationship I'm good to go. I think we tried the "Lets all be friends" approach far to soon. I need time to adjust to T having a BF, anything else is just noise right now. M2 is coming over to play with T tomorrow and I'm going to drink, fight and get arrested. Ok no I'm not, but I do find the idea oddly attractive right now. Ah fuck it. I'll live.
I'm scared, tired and my soul hurts, and yet I just do not have it in me to ask T to stop.
P.S. NRE is an evil perpetrated on the unwary by the uncaring.
Budda said:Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.
can I *like* this?I call bullshit. After creeping your Facebook, I have to say you are pretty darn sexy. So, no more pity party!
I agree with TP. Some slowing down and taking a breath is worth asking for.
I'm going to write a book.
The fastest way to experience pain in the creation of a poly amorous relationship.
1) pretend you know what your getting into.
2) rush into it even after folks suggest you slow down
3) repeat 1 and 2 until you're divorced, insane, or decide to start listening to people who actually do know what they are doing.
Doug Larson said:Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
NYC is an awesome town. Gotta say I'm a little envious. Don't forget to visit the Museum of Sex!I'm in NYC on business right now so I can't write for long, but let's just say I've made some serious miscues, both painful and entertaining in the last few days that make just about everything else I've experienced so far seem like fun.
More when I get home. P.s. I love N.Y!