My husband and I have been together 3 years, have a toddler, and have always had the intention of having an open relationship.
We practice transparency, talk about polyamory, what we want, what we don't want, etc, etc.
Our families know, mostly, that we have an open relationship.
About 8 months ago, we moved to a new area of the country. Its a progressive, small city.
Its been slow meeting people since we work a lot and I also go to school, but over the last few months we've been spending more time with a couple that also has a toddler, who seem like pretty conscious folks.
We hadn't told them that we were poly because our priority was just making friends and finding playmates for our young child.
Recently, after some drinks, I came out to them as having an open relationship, but didn't suggest or intimate that I was interested in either of them, nor was my husband. Rather, we simply told them it was a relief not having to hide that part of ourselves in conversation with people we were friends with..
Incidentally, I am attracted to the male partner in their dyad; something really clicks for us, but we're not flirty or by any means acting interested in either of them.
Since I told them, her demeanor has changed towards me. I occasionally volunteer or have hours on their farm, and work alongside the male partner during the week. The last time we did, he was very expressive in his personal interest in polyamory, but that he would never want to because his partner has many abandonment issues and cannot conceive of being poly. He picked my brain about polyamory.
I never told him I was attracted to him, didn't give him any signs or eyes... but he told me that since she learned I'm poly, his partner might not want me volunteering or working there in the future.
My heart is a little sore because I was happy in our friendship as it was, but I wanted to be honest about my husband and I's relationship and outlook.
Now, she seems cold and maybe even a little competitive with me.
I'm scared that I have alienated her. Our children love spending time together, and I don't have any interest in a non-consensual relationship with her partner, or even admitting my crush given her perspective.
Any words of advice to me? I'm a newbie at disclosure. Can I make it right again?
We practice transparency, talk about polyamory, what we want, what we don't want, etc, etc.
Our families know, mostly, that we have an open relationship.
About 8 months ago, we moved to a new area of the country. Its a progressive, small city.
Its been slow meeting people since we work a lot and I also go to school, but over the last few months we've been spending more time with a couple that also has a toddler, who seem like pretty conscious folks.
We hadn't told them that we were poly because our priority was just making friends and finding playmates for our young child.
Recently, after some drinks, I came out to them as having an open relationship, but didn't suggest or intimate that I was interested in either of them, nor was my husband. Rather, we simply told them it was a relief not having to hide that part of ourselves in conversation with people we were friends with..
Incidentally, I am attracted to the male partner in their dyad; something really clicks for us, but we're not flirty or by any means acting interested in either of them.
Since I told them, her demeanor has changed towards me. I occasionally volunteer or have hours on their farm, and work alongside the male partner during the week. The last time we did, he was very expressive in his personal interest in polyamory, but that he would never want to because his partner has many abandonment issues and cannot conceive of being poly. He picked my brain about polyamory.
I never told him I was attracted to him, didn't give him any signs or eyes... but he told me that since she learned I'm poly, his partner might not want me volunteering or working there in the future.
My heart is a little sore because I was happy in our friendship as it was, but I wanted to be honest about my husband and I's relationship and outlook.
Now, she seems cold and maybe even a little competitive with me.
I'm scared that I have alienated her. Our children love spending time together, and I don't have any interest in a non-consensual relationship with her partner, or even admitting my crush given her perspective.
Any words of advice to me? I'm a newbie at disclosure. Can I make it right again?