howdy all

thecowgirl37

New member
My name is Cheyenne, and I have joined the forum because my husband and I recently begun exploring polyamory. I have always been open to the idea of sharing my relationship with another woman. For about two months now, we have been exploring things with a female friend of his from work. I affectionately refer to her as our unicorn, since she and I both love unicorns, she is a beautiful bi woman, and seems to be fairly equal in her interactions with us. In the last couple of weeks, I have had to deal with some insecurities, fears, and anxiety with the whole situation because it is all new. I refer to it as my crazy when it gets the better of me, because I know I am being irrational. I am deeply in love with my husband, and he with me, and I'm pretty sure we're both crazy about her. <3 I am here to find support and see how others deal with these feelings and to remind myself that this has the potential to be a wonderful, beautiful thing.
 
Jealousy is natural, not irrational. To refer to it as crazy is just suppressing your feelings which is never good in the long run. I have found that the key to unraveling jealous feelings, is to just talk about it..with everyone involved.
 
To me, the feelings seem irrational, because they are unfounded. Neither of them have given me any reason to doubt them or to feel jealous. And how I was dealing with the emotions was irrational and I was feeling crazy because of that. I have talked out all of my emotions with them and felt very supported, but I had to go through these anxiety attacks before I felt like I could approach the subject. I didn't want to make either of them feel like I didn't trust them.
 
be sure to communicate your feelings. The one thing I've found about poly relationships is that they require 3x more communication than do regular. TALK about your feelings
 
Agreed. It is definitely hard, but worth it. My husband bought a journal for me and our girlfriend to exchange and communicate our feelings when we aren't together.
 
We use both a big whiteboard as well as we have a group text message open for all 3 of us, as well as 2 way chats with each of us
 
The whiteboard is for general communications (for who is in, who is out)

Currently we have 2 kids living with us so that has all the chores posted, meetings, etc.

Once we finish our battle with CPS (we are winning) Amanda's kids will be living here two which will mean 4 kids!
 
Greetings Cheyenne,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I think your approach is sensible, you are aware of when your thoughts or feelings (or actions) are irrational, and are willing to work on them. Polyamory.com can certainly help you with that, whenever you are feeling "crazy" you can post here and get some stabilizing feedback.

Polyamory is hard work, but it tends to be worth it! Glad you could join us.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Thank you! It is all very new and has been a little hard for me to figure out. It is new for all of us, so we are still working on how and when to express ourselves appropriately and how to receive each others emotions without becoming aggressive or defensive. My husband is definitely the anchor and kind of the mediator (not in a bad way or anything), just that he definitely helps to keep me as level headed as possible, as I have gone through a range of emotions, some of which I have not expressed to her because I am still trying to figure them out.
 
Sounds like you've got a good husband.
 
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