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Old 02-05-2017, 07:13 PM
DaysOfInspiration DaysOfInspiration is offline
New Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 3
Default Not-so-new newbie!

[CN emotional and sexual abuse]

Hello everyone!

New to the forum, not new to polyamory but sort of feel like I am.

I've been practicing ethical ("air quotes") non-monogamy since I first fell in love with a man and a woman at the same time when I was 18. I'm now 26 and I have never been in a purely monogamous relationship. Perhaps it's the slut in me, but the idea of only having sex with one person for the rest of my life terrifies the shit out of me, even if the person (and the sex) is spectacular. That said, I do very closely pair bond in relationships.

I'm a survivor - one long-term partner who sexually abused me (amongst other things,) and another who emotionally abused me to a quite spectacular degree, including setting up a situation wherein they were free to do whatever, whenver and with whomever they wanted, but I had to be exclusive to them. I left this situation just under two years ago and am now living with my absolutely amazing Primary partner and we have been slowly expanding the boundaries towards opening up our relationship. I'm currently dating 3 others and um-friends with one other, while my Partner is exploring a couple of interesting connections in their early stages.

So herein is the 'not new to poly but feel like I am' - I have been doing it for years but this relationship really feels like the first time it's been viable, functional and totally egalitarian. We've often said we're learning it from the ground up all over again and that's why I'm here.

I look forward to chatting with lots of you.

Cast of characters:
CK/Days of Inspiration - yours truly
DB - my wonderful Primary/nesting partner
FondleBeast - long-distance sweetie
Twister Girl - long-distance sweetie and FB's ^ primary partner
Evil Genius - long-distance FWB
The Artist - new local sweetie
The Wanderer - incredible metamour
Maybe more to be added...
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Old 02-06-2017, 05:36 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 16,535

Greetings DaysOfInspiration,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I'm glad that you're in a more fair relationship now, and hope you have a positive experience with poly going forward. If you have any questions don't hesitate to post, we will try to answer.

Kevin T., "official greeter"


There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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Old 02-08-2017, 05:42 PM
eklctc eklctc is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 287


Sounds like you are well on your way to healing and recovery as you explore your new connections.

I look forward to hearing more.
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Old 02-09-2017, 11:20 PM
Lea Lea is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 120

Welcome to the forum! I can't wait to see more insight from your own experiences as well!
C // Husband/Partner of 18 years
D // Boyfriend of 1.5 year
J // New and Loved
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Old 02-11-2017, 08:20 AM
Ravenscroft Ravenscroft is offline
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: NW Minnesota
Posts: 1,724

Originally Posted by DaysOfInspiration View Post
I've been practicing ethical ("air quotes") non-monogamy since I first fell in love with a man and a woman at the same time when I was 18. I'm now 26

I'm a survivor - one long-term partner who sexually abused me (amongst other things,) and another who emotionally abused me to a quite spectacular degree
At what point in this timeline did the abusive relationships occur?

How do you define "long-term"?
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Old 02-16-2017, 12:05 AM
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Al99 Al99 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,767

Welcome DaysOfInspiration!

I've only been here a couple of months - but have found everyone to be very friendly and helpful - with lots of sound advice and information.

Perhaps it's the slut in me
lol.... My wife asked me to open our ten year old mono marriage a couple of months ago so she could explore her resurgent feelings about an old college bf. She left this morning for her second overnight with him (it's long distance - so once a month overnight is our guideline) - and as we were enjoying our Valentine's evening activities last night, we were both laughing about all the Valentine's sex she would be getting from her boys this week - now that she's "an ethical slut".


Dramatis Personae:
Me: Al99, poly, heterosexual male, 50's
Becky: married to Al99, poly, heterosexual female, late 30's
Bouncingbetty: ldr girlfriend to Al99, poly, pansexual female, early 30's
Ben: Becky's medium-ldr bf, heterosexual male, 40's

My Introductory Post - An Unexpected Introduction to Poly.

Last edited by Al99; 02-16-2017 at 01:59 AM.
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intro, newbie, not-so-new-newbie, polyamory

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