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  #11  
Old 10-04-2017, 07:04 PM
powerpuffgrl1969 powerpuffgrl1969 is offline
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Believe me, I was NOT trying to be judgmental or anything. Your life is so different from mine that I just can't quite wrap my head around it!

It's good you are doing some volunteering. I don't think I could work in an animal shelter, unless it was a no-kill one. I'm a big baby.
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  #12  
Old 10-04-2017, 07:48 PM
sexyserb sexyserb is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by powerpuffgrl1969 View Post
Believe me, I was NOT trying to be judgmental or anything. Your life is so different from mine that I just can't quite wrap my head around it!

It's good you are doing some volunteering. I don't think I could work in an animal shelter, unless it was a no-kill one. I'm a big baby.




Were on the same page on this one Power. I could NEVER work in a kill shelter. We have multiple big dogs of our own. Hero worries I'll bring the whole shelter home.

Your life is so different from mine that I just can't quite wrap my head around it!

Different than I ever expected too. Raised in comfortable middle class, nothing out of the ordinary. Sometimes I look around and ask myself "what planet am I on?"
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Transitioning back to mono and saving my marriage
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  #13  
Old 10-06-2017, 05:28 PM
sexyserb sexyserb is offline
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Well, its Friday and Hero and I leave in a few hours for some fancy business get together about two hours from here. Really wish it was last week end and that we were headed to a football week end. I feel out of place with most of these other wives at these things. Most of them are at least ten years older than me, some look older than that, and because Hero is so young for this level I stand out like a sore thumb. I purposely try to "dress down" into what I call frumpy mode. When I interact with these women, I always wonder which ones were faithful and which ones cheated. just a game I play in my mind. I'm sure their hair would stand straight up if they knew my little background for the last bit of time. Heaven forbid that.

We are getting along great, but I still have to pinch myself because I know it is not the same. Can he live long term with that is the big question. But right now I feel on solid ground, which makes me very happy. So far, I am not having any relapses or second thoughts on my decision to return to monogamy, but I think what bothers Hero is that he is not sure he can count on that. Sometime soon we have to discuss this. I am debating whether or not to start or initiate the conversation.

I would be lying if I said I never had thoughts about the "fun" I had, but I certainly am not miserable and it has not been that long. I still get the attention, and still go looking for it sometimes discreetly, but just do not need to act on it.

I think I may find another therapist. It will be interesting to see if someone else has the same opinion and recommendations.

That's it for today. I am off to play "corporate wifey".
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Transitioning back to mono and saving my marriage
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  #14  
Old 10-09-2017, 02:57 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sexyserb View Post
Well, its Friday and Hero and I leave in a few hours for some fancy business get together about two hours from here. .
Right ....nice cover. Wink wink ...I saw the international headline of the royal wedding. How was the food ? . Which side of the church did you sit on ?
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  #15  
Old 10-09-2017, 03:22 PM
sexyserb sexyserb is offline
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Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Right ....nice cover. Wink wink ...I saw the international headline of the royal wedding. How was the food ? . Which side of the church did you sit on ?


Not sure why or what you are trying to do, but can't see how this is helpful so I'll just choose to ignore it.
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Transitioning back to mono and saving my marriage
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  #16  
Old 10-09-2017, 06:40 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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So sorry ....saw the headline of the Serbian prince getting married, I didn't even know there was a royal family until reading the story. I thought it was a funny coincidence that all.
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  #17  
Old 10-10-2017, 02:30 AM
sexyserb sexyserb is offline
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So sorry ....saw the headline of the Serbian prince getting married, I didn't even know there was a royal family until reading the story. I thought it was a funny coincidence that all.
OK. LOL. My prince is not the Serbian half of this couple. He’s a good old fashioned WASP.

Now the bad news. Just when everything is going pretty good, my husband has just told me he has to travel all week next week. I thought this shit was over. Not that big a deal I guess. Just me being selfish. I want him here with me. All the time. I’m wondering if he is worried leaving or if that will trigger him once he leaves. I think I will have that conversation and ask. Not asking and talking almost got me headed big time to divorce so now I think communication needs to happen.

The good part of this is I will gage my thoughts and see how much progress I have really made on being what he needs. It’s easy to talk the talk but I need to walk the walk. That means finding stuff to do that does. Not involve putting myself in awkward situations and doing that because I want it that way.

I am going out one night with my girlfriends but that was planned before Hero told me he was leaving. He has not said a word. Do I go or cancel on them? I think I go to keep the gossip at a minimum. If I am a no show while he is gone that feeds into the crap that a few of them have noticed.

Tomorrow after work we are going to the gym. LOL. Ill be in a Zumba class with 99% women and he will be out there lifting weights with a bunch of 20 year olds ogling him and his workout buddies. But its good to do stuff together and we go home together and hopefully have some sexy times.

On a happy note, my youngest tells me how her guys parents thought we were great people and she is a happy girl. That makes me happy.
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Hero- 49 mono hubby
Transitioning back to mono and saving my marriage
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  #18  
Old 10-13-2017, 02:02 PM
sexyserb sexyserb is offline
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Well, I made an appointment with another therapist. JUst want to try to figure out how I got here for my own benefit. My instinct tells me “resentment” , FOO, and MLC, but for my own sanity I need to delve deeper into this. Or was it just plain selfish or as Ester Perel says how hard it is for one person to fill all your needs. My guess is selfish since I did not desire any other men until I guess I got bored with him gone all the time. Last therapist came down more on the side of selfish.

One of my good friends wants to have a “private” lunch with me next week. That is worrisome. I know her marriage is not the best and the last thing I need right now is to get drawn into the middle of who knows what, but I owe her the opportunity to talk. It’s the “private” thing, insuring I do not invite anyone else, that bothers me.

Quiet week end I guess. My husband will be glued to the TV watching football all day and night Saturday into the wee hours of the morning when the West Coast games end. Thank heavens this only goes on for a few months, LOL. I’m going shopping to try to make Sunday “fireworks” day in my bedroom. I’m craving affection from him.

One more dilemma. One of my previous FWB keeps trying to contact me. The burner that I had is discarded, but he has tried FB, even though I made it clear it was over. Now the question is do I tell my husband or just ignore it. ???? It really pisses me off. My gut says say nothing but I if this genius does something really stupid that Hero finds out about it will look like I have been hiding it. Does DADT apply if you are back to monogamy???
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ME- 48 , married poly female, hetereo
Hero- 49 mono hubby
Transitioning back to mono and saving my marriage
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  #19  
Old 10-13-2017, 05:42 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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What kind of stupid thing might this genius do? Can you not block him from all social media? Are you afraid he will contact Hero or some of your friends and out you about all the things you did?
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62), dating... again!
Pixi (poly, F, 40) my darling nesting partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's Dom/bf since April 2013
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  #20  
Old 10-13-2017, 06:48 PM
sexyserb sexyserb is offline
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What kind of stupid thing might this genius do? Can you not block him from all social media? Are you afraid he will contact Hero or some of your friends and out you about all the things you did?

Mags, this was one guy who I liked and trusted. He just wants to have sex with me again. He was one of the few who knew my social media and one of the last I cut off and stopped seeing. He's a really cocky guy who actually was delusional enough to think he should meet my husband and that he could convince Hero to be friends. That idea went no where. And he was cheating on his wife with me so I do not think he would go the route of social media. Yes I have now blocked him. i did not think it was necessary on this guy.

I'm not responding and Hero does not check my social media. He stated right from the beginning he ain't going that route. I just do not know whether or not to say anything about it.
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Transitioning back to mono and saving my marriage
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