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Old 06-15-2011, 10:43 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,445

Privacy is the equivalent of nudity to a lot of people. The idea of wearing clothes vs walking around naked. The comparison won't help you understand if you also prefer walking around naked though :P

I'm not a private person at all. I'm honest, open, and tell people everything. As a result, it hurts me even moreso if someone goes behind my back to check my emails or do a background check on me, or otherwise proves that they don't trust me. On the other hand I don't have a problem with for instance giving my boyfriend my email's password so he can check it for me because he's using the computer, or something like that, I won't really think twice about it. But if I learned that before I gave him my password he went onto my computer and used the fact my password is pre-entered to check my emails thinking I'd never know about it...
Well then he's going behind my back and keeping things from me.

To be it's the same difference as between my boyfriend having other partners and I know about it (poly) or my boyfriend having other partners behind my back (cheating). The problem isn't with the other partners, it's with the lying, and it's even more hurtful when I am someone who would have been fine with it, that someone would still try to go behind my back for it instead of just asking me directly.

So, I don't feel strongly about these things because I protect and value my privacy immensely. I feel strongly about it because I don't withhold information, so if you insist on taking it while I'm not looking instead of asking for it or taking it in front of me when it's obvious I can see you and could stop you if I cared, I'll be hurt in a major way.

EDIT: going back to the nudity example from the beginning, imagine I don't typically wear clothes and walk around all day and my boyfriend can see me naked whenever he wants. If he set up cameras to watch me take a shower instead of just joining me, or if he took picture secretly instead of asking for them or doing it openly, I'd think that guy has something wrong with him. That's exactly how I feel about things like background checks or reading my email.

Last edited by Tonberry; 06-15-2011 at 10:45 AM.
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boundaries, communication, privacy, secrecy

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