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Old 05-23-2018, 06:22 AM
Ravenscroft Ravenscroft is offline
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: NW Minnesota
Posts: 1,724

Originally Posted by IndigoTiger View Post
Throughout the 3 years we knew them.... I attempted to let it go as I do not veto my husbands partners. This resulted in a massive compilation of various incidents
Why did you let it go on for so long, unquestioned?

Where did you get the notion that "WTF??" is the same as "veto"?

All in all, you need advice from an attorney first.
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Old 05-23-2018, 05:07 PM
IndigoTiger IndigoTiger is offline
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 35

Originally Posted by Ravenscroft View Post
Why did you let it go on for so long, unquestioned?

Where did you get the notion that "WTF??" is the same as "veto"?

All in all, you need advice from an attorney first.
I've been asking myself that for a while now.

One big issue is that I, at least used to be, an easy target for gaslighting because of my past experiences and reasons for PTSD. So when I would Express issue with a screwed up thing, Kay knew how to talk me around
Ex: "you're feeling this way because of X. X is a you problem."

And in that situation it was her entire polycule (4 adults) against me each time. And after a while, once fire got turned on me and not Kenny, he began to turn on me as well. So then it was 5 people calling me mean and judgemental. And eventually a bad person.

There was also ALOT of hot and cold interaction from her as well. She would use traumatic events from my past to connect and empathize with me, I would bring up an issue and Express what was needed or what my boundary was, then I would be the problem all over again until she would soften and explain she has feelings for me again.
Over time I became more and more frustrated until things were constantly tense and she would speak against me behind my back to my partners, and tell me that we didnt have to be friends. It was close to the end that I clarified that we are NOT friends, to which was another reason for her to point and say how mean I was.

She also used the children as a sort of bait into her life, as we all loved her kids to which it became a family thing and then the childrens feelings were held against us.

I wasnt really learned on the tactics she was using until much later. And I started to see that most everyone around her was brainwashed into this and locked in via their biggest weaknesses. I was alone for a moment until Kenny started opening up to me again when he started noticing weird hypocritical behavior.

Alot of it is a blur at this point because I've had a history of ignoring issues and judgement in people in fear of getting in the way. It's part of my social reaction due to PTSD. I did, however try to speak my truth and stand up. As I explained in the OP, i was against the house from the start but was outvoted and berated when I expressed a hint of lack of trust.

All in all, I didnt WANT to believe this was this toxic of a situation. Just like I didnt want to believe my mother was toxic and manipulative, or that my stepmother was a psychopathic child abuser. I wanted to believe it was me and they were helping make me a better person. Until it was quite clear she didnt care at all about helping me. She just wanted me out.
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