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  #1  
Old 05-14-2018, 03:28 PM
pittarotaro pittarotaro is offline
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Default So Happy to Live My Truth

I'm a 30-something year old finally living free and happy.

Relationships were difficult for me from the start. I'm a CSA and have had years of trauma compounded onto each other, so my initial approach to sexuality was very cold and distant in a feeble attempt to protect myself.

My first significant sexual experiences were twisted in the abuse, so when I started dating I gravitated towards figures that resembled my abusers. At 19 I got married to a marine who eventually cheated on me. From then on I had narcissistic partners with serious personality disorders. By my second ex-husband I drew enough support and strength to escape.

When I returned home an old childhood friend came to help. This friend, L, eventually became a lover and now a partner. He's the father of my only child, and I absolutely adore him. He is the reason why I feel like polyamory works. We communicate very well and set appropriate boundaries. He not only does that, but works with my traumas through deep compassion and patience. He has always been naturally compersive, and we've seen each other through separate relationships growing up. Maybe that's why I'm happy when he dates. I really hope the ladies he takes interest in are deserving and worthy of him.

I've attempted to open up my romantic relationships before, but my abusive partners were using it as a way to cheat in a way. L is the healthiest and happiest relationship I've ever been in, and it's thanks to him that I can finally live my truth!
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  #2  
Old 05-14-2018, 06:28 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Greetings pittarotaro,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

L sounds like a neat guy, I am glad you're with him. It sounds like you have traveled a long road in order to overcome the abuse, kudos for not giving up. Things are looking up for you, and now you're a member on Polyamory.com where you can make new friends and post thoughts and questions. Glad to have you with us!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
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Old 05-14-2018, 07:10 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Im so glad you are in such a good place! Welcome to the forum.

May I ask what CSA means? I googled it and came up with many different results.
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Old 05-14-2018, 07:30 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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My guess is "Child Sexual Abuse," but I could be wrong.
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Old 05-14-2018, 07:48 PM
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Al99 Al99 is offline
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Hi pittarotaro - and welcome to the Forum! We will look forward to hearing more of your story. We have a good number of experienced poly folks here on the forum who are generally helpful and friendly, so please do not hesitate to post any specific thoughts and questions that you may have. The General Poly Discussion and Poly Relationship Corner sections are generally quite active. Best of luck on your journey! Al
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Becky: married to Al99, poly, heterosexual female, late 30's
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Ben: Becky's medium-ldr bf, heterosexual male, 40's
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My Introductory Post - An Unexpected Introduction to Poly.

Last edited by Al99; 05-14-2018 at 09:39 PM.
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  #6  
Old 05-17-2018, 01:46 AM
Ravenscroft Ravenscroft is offline
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CSA
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  #7  
Old 05-19-2018, 05:17 AM
pittarotaro pittarotaro is offline
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Thank you all for the kind and warm replies. My nesting partner and I have just begun opening up our relationship, and weve both gone on a few dates.

Ive had more success finding people in OKC and Im pretty set on trying to develop two right now with two other polys. Excited to see where itll eventually lead me!
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  #8  
Old 05-19-2018, 06:03 AM
Ravenscroft Ravenscroft is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pittarotaro View Post
Im pretty set on trying to develop two right now with two other polys.
FWIW, people who say they're "poly" is significantly different from those who are actually experienced in nonmonogamy.

Tread lightly. Best wishes!
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