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Old 05-18-2018, 03:07 PM
lunabunny lunabunny is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
I can't imagine not telling any partner of mine that I had an emergency to deal with

I am a nurturing person. If a partner doesn't want my help for an extended period of time (say more than a week) and refuses to even communicate in any way, or even give an explanation just so I know they are still alive, well, they are just not dating material for me.

Not having "emotional bandwidth," no matter how stressed one is, to communicate for a freeking minute would be a dealbreaker for me.
Despite being somewhat of a loner, I am much the same way, Magdlyn, hence my questions to the forum about communication etiquette earlier in the thread.

In fact, last weekend I broke up with one of my primary partners, Jester, over a similar issue. He had been uncommunicative (verging on nada in the way of messages or calls) for over a month, because he was stressed out by his college workload and tired from a new medication.

While I understood he was having some difficulties and tried to be patient, choosing to withdraw for that long became a dealbreaker, on the back of a year+ of reduced communication and effort. It was like there was no more relationship, though he said it wasn't so.

The OP hasn't experienced repeated episodes of this kind with Facets (and I hope it doesn't happen again, KC) so I can understand the decision to give him another chance. Isolated incidents like this CAN happen, I agree... but when it's clearly an M.O. I concur it's time to get out.
__________________
Me, Lunabunny: F, 50, heteroflexible
Jester: M, 59, straight, primary partner (LD)
Boho: F, 57, heteroflexible, primary partner (LD)

Red: M, 53, straight, ex-husband
Bud: early 20s, son
Lola: early 20s, daughter
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