Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-18-2018, 03:07 PM
lunabunny lunabunny is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 726

Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
I can't imagine not telling any partner of mine that I had an emergency to deal with

I am a nurturing person. If a partner doesn't want my help for an extended period of time (say more than a week) and refuses to even communicate in any way, or even give an explanation just so I know they are still alive, well, they are just not dating material for me.

Not having "emotional bandwidth," no matter how stressed one is, to communicate for a freeking minute would be a dealbreaker for me.
Despite being somewhat of a loner, I am much the same way, Magdlyn, hence my questions to the forum about communication etiquette earlier in the thread.

In fact, last weekend I broke up with one of my primary partners, Jester, over a similar issue. He had been uncommunicative (verging on nada in the way of messages or calls) for over a month, because he was stressed out by his college workload and tired from a new medication.

While I understood he was having some difficulties and tried to be patient, choosing to withdraw for that long became a dealbreaker, on the back of a year+ of reduced communication and effort. It was like there was no more relationship, though he said it wasn't so.

The OP hasn't experienced repeated episodes of this kind with Facets (and I hope it doesn't happen again, KC) so I can understand the decision to give him another chance. Isolated incidents like this CAN happen, I agree... but when it's clearly an M.O. I concur it's time to get out.
Me, Lunabunny: F, 50, heteroflexible
Jester: M, 59, straight, primary partner (LD)
Boho: F, 57, heteroflexible, primary partner (LD)

Red: M, 53, straight, ex-husband
Bud: early 20s, son
Lola: early 20s, daughter
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 10:42 AM.