MusicalRose
Member
You are going through a very challenging process right now, but believe me when I say that you are approaching it with the right attitude. There are going to be times when it seems overwhelming, and times when you wonder what the hell you've gotten yourself into, but it is so important that you already understand the need to own your own stuff and that you are taking steps to work toward that.
I have some ideas for the two fears, although since you haven't explicitly asked for advice, feel free to reject the ideas.
1) How much have you and your wife talked about this? Was there anything in particular going on during those 3-4 times she was able to climax during intercourse (certain time of cycle, certain position, certain types of foreplay or other things going on, certain settings/situations, etc.)? If you can find a common denominator, you might be able to work toward having that more often between the two of you. If not, it may just be that your wife has difficulty with that in general. It isn't uncommon. Have you considered trying to use toys to assist? I know the WeVibe has done wonders for me and my DH. He doesn't always want to use it, but when we do I orgasm much more easily from intercourse. It's kind of an expensive toy, but if this kind of thing is important to you, it might be worth it. You can get the added bonus of feeling the vibrations yourself if you use a vibrating toy or cock right as well.
2) NRE is scary. If it's been a while since your wife or you have experienced it, then it is a reasonable thing to be wary of. It's probably good to talk as much with your wife about it as possible and set down a game plan for checking in with each other. On your end, find out what it is that will make you feel more at ease and communicate those things to her as requests. Then she can either agree or not agree and potentially negotiate other things with you. She will have additional responsibilities to her child as well, so hopefully she has a lot keeping her from getting completely swept away. And as far as not feeling the same for you, it probably won't. You two have gone through NRE and now you have an established long term relationship. You don't get high on each other like you used to and if you develop new partners, that high will probably be there with them.... for a while. The thing about NRE is that it never lasts. If she stays with someone for longer than a year or two, it will fade into that old comfortable place just like you are with her. I have noticed that there are people who seem to be NRE addicts, whose relationships only last as long as the NRE does, but if you and your wife have been together for a while and have a child(ren) together, it doesn't seem like she is all that likely to act like that. However, you know her better than we do.
I have some ideas for the two fears, although since you haven't explicitly asked for advice, feel free to reject the ideas.
1) How much have you and your wife talked about this? Was there anything in particular going on during those 3-4 times she was able to climax during intercourse (certain time of cycle, certain position, certain types of foreplay or other things going on, certain settings/situations, etc.)? If you can find a common denominator, you might be able to work toward having that more often between the two of you. If not, it may just be that your wife has difficulty with that in general. It isn't uncommon. Have you considered trying to use toys to assist? I know the WeVibe has done wonders for me and my DH. He doesn't always want to use it, but when we do I orgasm much more easily from intercourse. It's kind of an expensive toy, but if this kind of thing is important to you, it might be worth it. You can get the added bonus of feeling the vibrations yourself if you use a vibrating toy or cock right as well.
2) NRE is scary. If it's been a while since your wife or you have experienced it, then it is a reasonable thing to be wary of. It's probably good to talk as much with your wife about it as possible and set down a game plan for checking in with each other. On your end, find out what it is that will make you feel more at ease and communicate those things to her as requests. Then she can either agree or not agree and potentially negotiate other things with you. She will have additional responsibilities to her child as well, so hopefully she has a lot keeping her from getting completely swept away. And as far as not feeling the same for you, it probably won't. You two have gone through NRE and now you have an established long term relationship. You don't get high on each other like you used to and if you develop new partners, that high will probably be there with them.... for a while. The thing about NRE is that it never lasts. If she stays with someone for longer than a year or two, it will fade into that old comfortable place just like you are with her. I have noticed that there are people who seem to be NRE addicts, whose relationships only last as long as the NRE does, but if you and your wife have been together for a while and have a child(ren) together, it doesn't seem like she is all that likely to act like that. However, you know her better than we do.