So I'm really new to poly, I've been in a poly relationship for six months now, and I'm still struggling. I don't know personally know anyone in the poly community besides my partner and I'm just looking for some advice and to hear stories from others.
When I came into the picture with my partner, I was strictly monogamous with him. He gave me great resources to look at so I could learn about poly and he answered every question I had and still have. In the beginning, he had two other partners he was involved with. One was heavily involved, and the other was kinda in and out, but it was really hard for them to see each other due to their schedules with work and family and everything else that they all deal with on a daily basis.
For now I'll call my partner X. About two months ago, he started a new relationship with another woman who I'll call A. Without giving too much detail, X and I have to be extremely careful when it comes to social media and posting things about each other, and going out to dinner or whatever because of our situation at this time in our relationship. With A there isn't a limit to going out in public or social media so they can pretty much do whatever without a limit. A gets to see X more than I do, even more so than his past partners.
I will get on social media sometimes and see posts that A tags X in and I feel hurt because I can't do that, and I know why I can't, so then I feel bad for feeling hurt. This has happened multiple times but I think A's birthday is what hurt me the most. I didn't get to hear X's voice or see him or anything on my birthday because of how our schedules worked out, but on A's birthday she got to stay the night and go to dinner with X. That instance hurt me because I couldn't do that and I didn't even get a phone call. A wanted to add a relationship status with X on social media, and I kinda freaked at first because initially I didn't feel that it was fair since I can't do that. It also hurts when A goes to see X three times a week, compared to my twice a month.
I had some really uneasy feelings last week and I was terrified that I was going to lose X and everything we have. I was scared that I would slowly be replaced, that I would eventually be forgotten about, or that I would lose the priority I have over A. I realized I had a little bit of jealously in there on top of those fears. I struggled. Something that X and I have is whenever I feel uneasy, I write it out and then share it with him. So I wrote everything out, and we talked about it.
After talking to X and watching some videos I found online, I felt much better and I came to a realization that nothing will take me away from him and nothing will cause him to forget about me or stop loving me, and that no matter what happens, I will always be a priority to X.
I am very curious to how others deal with uneasy feelings that arise in your relationships and how you overcome those feelings, and how you feel when a partner starts to get involved with a new partner.
Also I should add, that A knows that I am a high priority to X, and that I mean more to X than practically anything else. Thank you in advance to whoever shares their stories or gives me advice. I appreciate it greatly.
When I came into the picture with my partner, I was strictly monogamous with him. He gave me great resources to look at so I could learn about poly and he answered every question I had and still have. In the beginning, he had two other partners he was involved with. One was heavily involved, and the other was kinda in and out, but it was really hard for them to see each other due to their schedules with work and family and everything else that they all deal with on a daily basis.
For now I'll call my partner X. About two months ago, he started a new relationship with another woman who I'll call A. Without giving too much detail, X and I have to be extremely careful when it comes to social media and posting things about each other, and going out to dinner or whatever because of our situation at this time in our relationship. With A there isn't a limit to going out in public or social media so they can pretty much do whatever without a limit. A gets to see X more than I do, even more so than his past partners.
I will get on social media sometimes and see posts that A tags X in and I feel hurt because I can't do that, and I know why I can't, so then I feel bad for feeling hurt. This has happened multiple times but I think A's birthday is what hurt me the most. I didn't get to hear X's voice or see him or anything on my birthday because of how our schedules worked out, but on A's birthday she got to stay the night and go to dinner with X. That instance hurt me because I couldn't do that and I didn't even get a phone call. A wanted to add a relationship status with X on social media, and I kinda freaked at first because initially I didn't feel that it was fair since I can't do that. It also hurts when A goes to see X three times a week, compared to my twice a month.
I had some really uneasy feelings last week and I was terrified that I was going to lose X and everything we have. I was scared that I would slowly be replaced, that I would eventually be forgotten about, or that I would lose the priority I have over A. I realized I had a little bit of jealously in there on top of those fears. I struggled. Something that X and I have is whenever I feel uneasy, I write it out and then share it with him. So I wrote everything out, and we talked about it.
After talking to X and watching some videos I found online, I felt much better and I came to a realization that nothing will take me away from him and nothing will cause him to forget about me or stop loving me, and that no matter what happens, I will always be a priority to X.
I am very curious to how others deal with uneasy feelings that arise in your relationships and how you overcome those feelings, and how you feel when a partner starts to get involved with a new partner.
Also I should add, that A knows that I am a high priority to X, and that I mean more to X than practically anything else. Thank you in advance to whoever shares their stories or gives me advice. I appreciate it greatly.