Types of Poly's staying power?

You asked for stories of endurance, so I will share a bit of mine.
JaneQ

Jane, thank you so much. Stories like yours, and others above, are exactly what I started this thread for. The only real exposure I had to Poly for a long time just seemed like a complete lack of commitment, not like what I really think something with the word "love" in its name should be like. In the BDSM community we were a part of for a few years (socially and exhibitionally, not in a swinging sense), poly seemed to mean something like one lesbian in the role of slave to a couple while also dating a straight man. It made no sense, and it never seemed to last more than a year or three.

My wife was so relieved to see in your post that putting the spouse above all others is a thing people do in this community. She's been really reluctant to use the term "poly" because what we knew of it really didn't seem to fit us. We still may not use the term for ourselves, but it's good to know that in ambiguity of terminology, people find their own stability.

turtleHeart: Thanks. I'm still working my way through Opening Up, but this is on my list now. It sounds like a worthwhile read for me.
 
I thought I'd throw in my story for you as well.

John and I have been ploy since our inception in October of 2007, we've had our trials, but we are still poly and together.

R, who I will kick things up with sexually again very soon, and I have been best friends and some-time lovers for about 12 years now. He is going to try to join our family later this year and we both know that if it doesnt work, we will go back to being best friends again. We've been through several periods where we werent sexually involved, but our feeling for each other have never changed over the last decade plus.

The key is communication, both active listening and being able to communicate your needs and wants.
 
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