that "new" feeling with my husband because of my new boyfriend.

RP, I'm sorry I'm a bit late to the discussion. Like you, I myself feel that I could not get by without my two wonderful women and our "V". They are the perfect complement to each other and my life. We all three benefit from each other in some way every day. Life wouldn't be the same for any of us without the whole.

With regards to rediscovery of my wife and how good it can be, I would say it seems to depend greatly on where she is, with regards to the V, on any given day. Sometimes she admits she still feels badly/lonely on the nights I am with my OSO and not her. Then there are other days where she's happily arranging mine/my OSO's schedule so she knows we'll have a great time that night whilst she's off to a chick flick by herself.

On those days she's troubled, I find it hard to be intimate with her because of guilt. On the good days, I love her all the more because she's so giving of her time and love to the V. She desperately wants us all to be happy, even if it means there's times she's not completely with the program. Does that make sense?
 
I myself feel that I could not get by without my two wonderful women and our "V". They are the perfect complement to eachother and my life. Life wouldn't be the same for any of us, without the whole.

With regards to rediscovery, of my wife and how good it can be....I would say it seems to depend greatly on where she is, with regards to the "V" on any given day. Sometimes she admits she still feels badly/lonely on the nights I am with my OSO and not her....then there are other days where she's happily arranging mine/my OSO's schedule so she knows we'll have a great time that night whilst she's off to a chick flick by herself.

On those days she's troubled, I find it hard to be intimate with her because of guilt. On the good days, I love her all the more because she's so giving of her time and love to the "V". She desperately wants us all to be happy, even if it means there's times she's not completely with the program. Does that make sense?:)

Yes that makes sense. My husband, I think, is lonely sometimes when I am not at home, but as we live together and not with Mono, it is not very often. He seems to feel that way when life has been too busy for us to connect as much as we would like, and then I go to Mono's house and it rubs it in a bit. Really, it's not much more than any couple feels when life is too busy sometimes, to come together and just be.

It's a personality thing too, as my husband enjoys his private down time and often goes to bed early just to read and go to sleep. Mono and I are similar, in that we are night owls. Quite often, we are up until 1, whereas my husband will be in bed at 9:00. We are fortunate in that our schedules work well. Mono is off at 3:00 and I am with him by 3:30. We have until 5:00, when I pick up the boy. That is family time for me, the boy and the husband. We have until 8:00, when the boy goes to bed. After that, I spend time with both men, or one or the other, either physically, on-line or on the phone.

We have experienced that guilt you mention. For me, also, the stability of our "V" does depend on his happiness a great deal. It has helped that my husband keeps his thoughts to himself on that, if it's just a little bit for him. It has meant that he doesn't block the love I give him that way. When he is needy or lonely or wanting my attention, I don't feel like I can be open or intimate in the way he requires. When he deals with some of that himself (within reason, of course) by going out and doing something about it, rather than putting it on me, then I am all over him. I find that very appealing. Of course, there are some times that he should be needy. I'm talking in generalities here.

I hope that makes sense. I don't think any of that is unique to poly, anyway. It's more about any relationship for me, poly or mono.
 
You all are making sense to me! :)

I really don't do "clingy" well, at all. If my lover is clingy and needy, my gut instinct is to run the OTHER direction, any other direction. When they are "on top of their game" and taking care of their emotional needs, keeping themselves busy and handling their own shit, then I find that VERY VERY sexy and appealing.

I think it's very important, in any type of relationship, that both partners really self-examine their actions/emotions to be sure that their actions back up and validate their own responsibility for their own emotions.
 
It's amazing the similarities in all our relationships, RP. For me, as a man, a little bit of clinginess is not a bad thing, makes me feel m-a-n-l-y. My wife isn't very clingy, while my OSO can very much be. The night owl thing I definitely identify with. My wife does not want to be awakened at night. My OSO? Anytime!

My wife lately has been feeling the need to just sit and talk and connect more, while at the same time, my OSO is needing more emotional support to get through her first Christmas and anniversary without her husband of 32 years, with her only child off to college.

Many nights it's all three of us just holding hands on the sofa watching TV. The doesn't sound like the young swinging scene of many of our forum readers, does it? But, by and large, it works, and our lives are richer for it. :)
 
Many nights it's all 3 of us just holding hands on the sofa watching TV......

Doesn't sound like the young swinging scene of many of our forum readers, does it???? But by and large it works, and our lives are richer for it.:)

Oh, I think I am secretly in love with you right now, Mark. ;) That is the sweetest thing. I love that image. That is just my speed right now, too, snuggly and warm on the couch, all arms and legs and blankies.
 
It's amazing the similarities in all our relationships, RP. For me, as a man, a little bit of clingy is not a bad thing, makes me feel m-a-n-l-y. My wife isn't very clingy; my OSO can very much be. My wife does not want to be awakened at night; my OSO? Anytime!

My wife lately has been feeling the need to just sit and talk and connect more, while at the same time, my OSO is needing more emotional support to get thru her first Christmas and anniversary without her husband of 32 years, with her only child off to college. Many nights it's all three of us just holding hands on the sofa watching TV. Doesn't sound like the young swinging scene of many of our forum readers, does it? But by and large it works, and our lives are richer for it.:)

It's funny, because seriously, clingy drives me nuts, even in my kids. :) That said, they are ALL (men and kids alike) clingy when they don't feel good. But GOD FORBID if I am! Woohoo, Mom better hold the fort down NO MATTER WHAT!

On another note, Maca is a "early to bed, early to rise" guy and GG and I are both night owls. :)

No young swinging scene here either. Kind of nice to know there are a few other "families" out there that aren't still "playing."
 
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