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Old 11-29-2017, 08:34 PM
txgirl txgirl is offline
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Default Hello from Texas

Hi. I just found this forum. I am a 38 year old female from Texas.
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  #2  
Old 11-29-2017, 08:43 PM
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Al99 Al99 is offline
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Hi Txgirl - welcome to the Forum! We have a bunch of experienced poly folks who are generally friendly and helpful - with lots of sound advice and solid info. We will look forward to hearing your story - best of luck on your poly journey! Al
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My Introductory Post - An Unexpected Introduction to Poly.
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Old 11-29-2017, 09:25 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Greetings txgirl,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Are you poly? poly-curious? I'm interested to hear your story. It's good to have you aboard!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
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Old 11-29-2017, 10:42 PM
txgirl txgirl is offline
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I am currently going through a divorce. My husband and I were in a poly relationship. While I was married, I was in a relationship with another man that is married/poly also.

I did not end the relationship I was in just because I am going through a divorce. However, I am going from married and poly to single and poly. My role has changed. We dont like to use the words primary or secondary, however to explain it easier: I am going from primary to a secondary. I find it difficult at times.

We have discussed about moving in together in the future. We are currently a V and I am always needing advice on this relationship from non biased, like minded people.
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Old 11-30-2017, 12:15 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Well we'll try to give you the advice that you need. I'm very sorry to hear about the divorce, that is never an easy thing to go through. So, you are still in the relationship with the other man who is married/poly? You were a primary to him, but now you're a secondary to him?

It sounds like you're going through some difficult changes right now.
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Old 11-30-2017, 02:38 AM
txgirl txgirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Well we'll try to give you the advice that you need. I'm very sorry to hear about the divorce, that is never an easy thing to go through. So, you are still in the relationship with the other man who is married/poly? You were a primary to him, but now you're a secondary to him?

It sounds like you're going through some difficult changes right now.
Yes, I am in a relationship with the other man (who is married to a monogamous woman). I am very close to both of them and we spend a lot of time together with each other's families.

I am a little worried because I came on here earlier today looking for advice on our relationship. Something occurred today. He had mentioned to me several months ago that he wrote a blog online. After reading certain threads today, I got curious and asked him if I could read his blog. I could have searched for it since I know all the online names he uses. However, out of honesty, I thought it was best to ask his permission. He granted it, was afraid I might get upset but informed me that it was written in this forum.

I went on to read some of it tonight, and I couldn't finish it. I didn't even come close. It did upset me.

About me, I am having a hard time with feeling lonely. I had been in poly relationships off and on for 10 years in my 17 years of marriage. I became much more active the last 4 years?..maybe. Anyways, I desire a lot of attention. He gets really busy with work, family, spouse and life. I know he tries to give me as much as he can.

So I am going from having a husband and LDR boyfriend. The long distance is not that long, 2-3 hours away. I dont like needing someone so much, because I have always been so independent.

We do see each other weekends and message each other throughout the day. It still doesn't seem like enough.
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Old 11-30-2017, 03:12 AM
txgirl txgirl is offline
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I am not sure if my last message is going through.

I am going through a lot of changes. I left a bad marriage over the summer and lost my job a few months later. I found a good job right away. So that was good.

The man I am involved with is married/poly, however, he is married to a monogamous woman. I am very close to both of them. We are in a V relationship.

He is lives about 2-3 hour drive away from me. We see each other most weekends. I just need to work some stuff out, and I wanted to get advice from people on here. I am going from having a husband/boyfriend to just having a boyfriend. I find myself feeling lonely.

Last edited by txgirl; 11-30-2017 at 03:15 AM.
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  #8  
Old 11-30-2017, 09:24 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Hi txgirl,

Would you be open to the idea of dating an additional partner, perhaps someone closer to where you live? If you would, OKCupid might be something to try.

I hope we can give you the advice that you need.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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  #9  
Old 12-01-2017, 02:24 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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txgirl,

Divorce, even if that is the best option for everyone, is a lonely process. In my experience, it is inherently isolating and upsetting of all sorts of routines. So, yeah, makes sense to me that you are experiencing more loneliness than usual.

To a degree, this is one of those things you have to just live through. But there are some things you can try to manage the loneliness. Do you have friends in your new location? If not, now is the time to really make an effort to meet new people. It takes time to make new friends so might as well start now (if you haven't already). And you seem aware that your LDR boyfriend is just not going to be able to assuage your loneliness - it's no one's fault and sounds like he is doing what he realistically can.

You could try and find others to date. That can work. But sometimes, with divorce and lots of change, that isn't always the best time to start something new. OTOH, there is nothing wrong with more casual connections.

Be gentle with yourself. This is a whole lot of change to get through. Good luck.
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  #10  
Old 12-06-2017, 11:18 PM
Nox Nox is offline
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Hello, there. I'd suggest loving that LDR boyfriend as much as possible since that's what he will do to you

I'm glad you found this place there is lots of good information here and very supportive folks. It really helped me through a tough time.
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