Hi,
Call me Kitty. I'm 22 (and super nervous about my first post here lol).
I just came out as polyamorous to my partner, and he took it pretty well I think. He didn't jump to thinking it was about himself being inadequate, or that I loved him any less, which is ultimately what I was worried about. He held me while I cried, told me that there was nothing wrong with the way I felt and that he just wants me to be happy, and he's glad I told him.
He said that he is okay for me to have sex with other people so long as he's there too, but he isn't too comfortable on the idea of relationships or opening ours up. It's progress and I’m grateful for even that, however being able to engage in alternate relationships is something that's important for me. I explained my feelings on love and how I don't believe it's finite, and that I want us to engage in separate relationships and potentially introduce another person into our relationship if we felt it was right, and he accepted what I was saying but I could see it was making him uncomfortable so I moved the topic to more common ground.
My question is, has anyone ever been in a similar situation? I'd never force my partner into doing anything he didn't want to, and I already made clear that I don't want him to do anything he doesn't want to through fear of losing me - to which he agreed he wouldn't - but alternate relationships are a big deal for me. Is this something that can be worked towards? If he sees me engaging in sex with other people and sees that it really doesn't diminish my feelings for him, will this create more trust and thus, more willingness to open things up? Am I just hoping for too much too quickly?
Thank you for reading this - and thank you to whoever created this forum, it's already made me feel much less alone!
Call me Kitty. I'm 22 (and super nervous about my first post here lol).
I just came out as polyamorous to my partner, and he took it pretty well I think. He didn't jump to thinking it was about himself being inadequate, or that I loved him any less, which is ultimately what I was worried about. He held me while I cried, told me that there was nothing wrong with the way I felt and that he just wants me to be happy, and he's glad I told him.
He said that he is okay for me to have sex with other people so long as he's there too, but he isn't too comfortable on the idea of relationships or opening ours up. It's progress and I’m grateful for even that, however being able to engage in alternate relationships is something that's important for me. I explained my feelings on love and how I don't believe it's finite, and that I want us to engage in separate relationships and potentially introduce another person into our relationship if we felt it was right, and he accepted what I was saying but I could see it was making him uncomfortable so I moved the topic to more common ground.
My question is, has anyone ever been in a similar situation? I'd never force my partner into doing anything he didn't want to, and I already made clear that I don't want him to do anything he doesn't want to through fear of losing me - to which he agreed he wouldn't - but alternate relationships are a big deal for me. Is this something that can be worked towards? If he sees me engaging in sex with other people and sees that it really doesn't diminish my feelings for him, will this create more trust and thus, more willingness to open things up? Am I just hoping for too much too quickly?
Thank you for reading this - and thank you to whoever created this forum, it's already made me feel much less alone!