MonoVCPHG
New member
Less than a week away!
Things are happening fast. I've started moving in as i work on the suite. I am mentally more there than in my apartment now and am looking forward to ending nights like tonight by just going downstairs as opposed to across town. I am trying to let go of the feeling of encroaching on PN's territory so to speak and getting used to the idea of spending more time with Redpeper. My concern is the perception of balance as always LOL!
Every now and then I get hit by just how unusual this is and a strange, "we shouldn't do this for so many reasons" feeling. Mostly they are driven by a subconscious/conscious thought that PN can't be happy with this. Other concerns include my becoming very connected to the space, yard and house to the point of morphing into a room-mate but not a mate. If I lose myself in that connection it can be as detrimental as forming a connection with another woman to some degree. It happened in my previous relationship and sustained me for several years before I crashed and burned . A sure sign of that would be my lack of concern for things going on in Redpepper's life. That possibly would be ok for her in that maybe it would give her more freedom, but for me it would be like opening a door to the unconscious change in how I feel about her. I don't think she would be happy with moving her boyfriend into her family home only to have him become a family friend LOL!
The maintenance of my intimate connection with her is always at the forefront for me. I kinda like the "with benefits" aspect of our relationship LOL!
Back to the good stuff....this move will keep my love close to her son, close to me and hopefully more present with PN! I can foresee a summer of backyard relaxing and social gatherings
Things are happening fast. I've started moving in as i work on the suite. I am mentally more there than in my apartment now and am looking forward to ending nights like tonight by just going downstairs as opposed to across town. I am trying to let go of the feeling of encroaching on PN's territory so to speak and getting used to the idea of spending more time with Redpeper. My concern is the perception of balance as always LOL!
Every now and then I get hit by just how unusual this is and a strange, "we shouldn't do this for so many reasons" feeling. Mostly they are driven by a subconscious/conscious thought that PN can't be happy with this. Other concerns include my becoming very connected to the space, yard and house to the point of morphing into a room-mate but not a mate. If I lose myself in that connection it can be as detrimental as forming a connection with another woman to some degree. It happened in my previous relationship and sustained me for several years before I crashed and burned . A sure sign of that would be my lack of concern for things going on in Redpepper's life. That possibly would be ok for her in that maybe it would give her more freedom, but for me it would be like opening a door to the unconscious change in how I feel about her. I don't think she would be happy with moving her boyfriend into her family home only to have him become a family friend LOL!
The maintenance of my intimate connection with her is always at the forefront for me. I kinda like the "with benefits" aspect of our relationship LOL!
Back to the good stuff....this move will keep my love close to her son, close to me and hopefully more present with PN! I can foresee a summer of backyard relaxing and social gatherings