Pigwidgeon
Member
My husband and I have been talking about polyamory for a while and have kissed a couple of people each but nothing more. He’s decided he’s mono.
On Saturday night we were at a friend’s house. Friend went to bed and I asked husband if I could join him. We have previously talked about this friend a couple of times and husband said he’d be ok with it. Husband said yes but sent me a text saying we could only kiss.
Needless to say I didn’t read the text til the morning and we had sex.
Husband heard banging and thought to himself “they’d better not be shagging” but clearly didn’t really think we were because he went on to have a solid 8 hours sleep by himself.
I know I screwed up. I’ve broken the trust and closeness that all these difficult polyamory conversations have helped us build. But to me, I had permission to be in there with him and it’s my body, not my husband’s.
Is this fixable? He’s basically given me an ultimatum - monogamy or nothing. After all the work we’ve put in studying this I feel like it’s the equivalent of learning all the benefits of breastfeeding but then choosing to bottle feed.
Thank you.
On Saturday night we were at a friend’s house. Friend went to bed and I asked husband if I could join him. We have previously talked about this friend a couple of times and husband said he’d be ok with it. Husband said yes but sent me a text saying we could only kiss.
Needless to say I didn’t read the text til the morning and we had sex.
Husband heard banging and thought to himself “they’d better not be shagging” but clearly didn’t really think we were because he went on to have a solid 8 hours sleep by himself.
I know I screwed up. I’ve broken the trust and closeness that all these difficult polyamory conversations have helped us build. But to me, I had permission to be in there with him and it’s my body, not my husband’s.
Is this fixable? He’s basically given me an ultimatum - monogamy or nothing. After all the work we’ve put in studying this I feel like it’s the equivalent of learning all the benefits of breastfeeding but then choosing to bottle feed.
Thank you.